Odds & Sods For Sunday, June 2nd

iTEM tHE fIRST: mY cAPS lOCK KEY MAY BE MESSED UP — HOLD ON…

Item The Second: The birthday balloon continues to float,  seventy-six days after my birthday. If it’s not deflated in two weeks, we’ll try to license the technology to NASA. Or Goodyear.

Item The Third: The “Powerhouse” brush fire that I wrote about yesterday has exploded from 3,600 acres to over 25,000 acres. In related news, the Coastal Commission has moved to make it illegal for seagulls to shit in the ocean, or over land. All seagulls will now be required to wear diapers.

Item The Fourth: The DIY renovations started last week are proceeding well. As rumored, stripping wallpaper is a tedious, pain in the ass job, but Ronnie and I are working together a few hours at a time and making progress. The first wall we intend to paint is about 75% stripped and prepped. My plan for the next step has been vetoed – I wanted to paint it that same shade of putrid pink as the old wallpaper and hand-draw in the flowers with white crayons.

Item The Fifth: With the change in months, the Long Suffering Wife has again changed the dining room table setting, this month a “grads” theme (with some baseball thrown in). Quite appropriate since we have graduations to attend this week and next.

Wait, what’s that little birthday cake thing in there. Am I missing something?

Item The Sixth: On May 23rd I wrote about the danger of being in a Jaguar dealership all day with the new F-Series out and looking so sweet in the TV ads while my thirteen-year-old “MomDude-mobile” minivan has 165,000 miles on it. FYI, I did not buy a new F-Series (or any other Jaguar, or any other car).

Yet.