Category Archives: Castle Willett

My first thought when I saw this picture on the screen was that the wallpaper in question doesn’t look as bad in real life as it does in the picture. Then I realized that it almost certainly looks far, far worse in real life than it does in the picture — I’m just so used to seeing it every day for 22+ years that I don’t notice it.

I realize it’s hideous, but it’s been there for as long as we’ve been in the house, and while in general I realize that the master bedroom would look better without it, there’s that whole thing about priorities, and if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it, blah, blah, blah. Whatever justification and denial keeps me from having to deal with removing, replacing, and upgrading it.

That said, I do completely understand that when I refer to Ronnie as the Long-Suffering Wife, this wallpaper is one of the things that she’s suffered long and hard over, so it’s time to bite the bullet and start doing the next round of sweat equity.

Another consideration fueling my denial and avoidance behavior is that I’ve stripped wallpaper before, decades ago when I was a teenager and we moved into a major “fixer-upper” house. I’m the oldest kid so I got to do lots of “helping”, and I do not have fond memories of days and days and days stripping wallpaper, followed by cleaning and  prepping and painting walls. But maybe it’s easier these days.

Yeah, that’s it. It’ll be easier now. Maybe…

Anyway. With the three-day holiday weekend here and no plans for us to go out of town, Ronnie suggested tackling the wallpaper at long last. So today I went out and picked up buckets and scrapers and drop cloths and sandpaper and stripping solution and sponges and IMPLEMENTS OF DESTRUCTION!!

Tomorrow, let the games begin!

And if anyone has any pictures of examples of your favorite hideous wallpapers, share them in the comments below!

No, it’s not my birthday today. But yes, this is my birthday balloon.

Normally even the best of the mylar balloons will only last for a week, maybe two, rarely for three. Which beats the snot out of the rubber balloons — those losers are flaccid in less than twenty-four hours.

It’s because those He molecules are teeny, tiny little buggers, quick, devious, slippery, tough to keep corralled. Worse than gerbils.

But THIS balloon is a true champ at He wrangling! It’s been over eight weeks since my birthday, and while it’s a tad limpy, this year’s birthday balloon is still hanging in there, reaching for the skies.

Maybe it’s a sign.

But a sign of what? I wish the gods would be a little bit less cryptic when they talk to us mere mortals.

We have a “street tree” that’s been dead for a couple of years. It used to be just mostly dead, but for at least the last two years it’s been an increasingly flammable, rotting stick. I’ve been increasingly concerned that it would fall down and tip over, either crashing into someone in the street, or crashing into something in our driveway, or taking out the water main that feeds the fire hydrant next to it. Or all of the above.

But we can’t touch it or cut it down because it’s a “street tree”, meaning that it’s between the sidewalk and the street, owned and managed by the city, and only they can trim it or cut it down, even though it’s on our property. (If you look at the far right of the “after” picture  from yesterday’s post you can just see it.) If something bad happens we’ll be the ones getting sued, but the city’s the one responsible and we would have a mess on our hands. (I hate that kind of mess!)

So today I filled out the online form for the City of Los Angeles Bureau Of Street Services, asking them to look at it and cut it down. I sent the e-mail at 11:11. At 13:04 (1:53 later) I got an automated response saying that the order had been received, including the phrase “Please be assured that the Bureau will respond as quickly and as thoroughly as City policy and resources allow.”

OK, I got it. Everyone’s living through budget cuts, money’s tight, it’s a bureaucracy, sequestration, I’m cynical, blah blah blah. I figured that the tree would get looked at in a couple of weeks, a month, a few months, whenever, and then it might get cut down in a couple of weeks, a month, a few months after that. Maybe.

I left at 15:30 for an errand. I got back at about 17:20 (about six hours after I sent the request, about four hours after I got the confirmation) and I found this:

DAY-AAHH-UM!!

It’s not even like they were still there cleaning up! I was gone less than two hours less, and apparently less than two hours after they sent the confirmation they were there cutting down the tree! And they got it done, cleaned up, and vanished in just over an hour!

NINJAS!! LIGHTNING FAST NINJAS!!

Kudos to the LA Bureau Of Street Services!

Here in Willettland it’s going to be a busy day and I’m pleased to report that there are signs of growth!

I’m not one to bet the farm on signs & portents. I don’t believe that God or the Universe or the Flying Spaghetti Monster (blessed be the touch of his noodley appendage!) or any other supernatural or divine critter sends us personal messages. God, the Universe, and the FSM — they all have better things to do with their time.

I do believe that our brains are incredibly complex wetware computers with a glitchy, flaky operating system, operating with hormones and chemicals as triggers, often based on imperfect and only marginally accurate input from the external world, input filtered through half-crippled and variable sensors to boot. As such, sometimes an input from the external world can trigger a chain reaction that leads to old information being rearranged in memory, new conclusions being drawn, new insights being surmised, and old (inefficient & damaged) programming being modified or replaced. The higher conscious functions of the brain could interpret this as “a sign”.

So what signs of growth are popping up here?

Like many folks here in Southern California, we have a large palm tree in the yard. Ours is a large date palm and it tends to get very overgrown, so every five or six years we have it trimmed back. One of the effects of it being so large and overgrown to begin with is that there’s little or no grass growing under it due to the constant shade and the droppings from the fronds and fruit. But three weeks ago, it was trimming time at last and there was an opportunity to change a bit of how the yard looks, make an improvement.

Before & after. Note the dead, brown dirt underneath the tree in the “before” image. (You might want to ignore the really blatant, humongous, phallic shape of the tree in the “after” image. The neighbors are no doubt trying to.)

Once the mess was cleaned up I put down some fertilizer and grass seed, then waited the 6-14 days that the package said before the seed would start to grow. That was nearly three weeks ago. I’ve been watering, it’s been sunny, I’ve been keeping the dog from wandering across that section of the lawn — but nothing has grown.

I’ve had a couple dozen new little palm tree seedlings coming up from all of the seeds that got scattered during the trimming (those things are worst than dandelions  and harder to kill), but no grass has appeared. I was just about to give up and try again (fail early, fail fast, adjust, try again…) when this morning:

Things are growing! Finally!!

In addition, I’ve received word that I’ve finally gotten past the second stage of a job selection process (a written test two and a half weeks ago) and I have a panel interview on Monday. So I’m going to go review some relevant information for the rest of the day. Fertilize my brain, as it were. Use my faulty & glitchy sensory inputs to store data in my flaky wetware memory in the hopes that next Monday I’ll be able to demonstrate overwhelming competence and some stunning insights and in the process rejoin the ranks of the gainfully employed.

Maybe it’s a sign!

A quick bit for you today – it’s late and it’s been a long day. But I wanted to show you what the long-suffering wife did this week, as she does around the first of every month. She loves to re-decorate our dining room table every month with something appropriate for the month. This month is a picnic-spring-NASCAR theme, which I find wonderfully unconventional. The picnic tote bag is ready with a bottle of wine and two glasses; the two vases of flowers are pretty; and the little racing car Matchbox-like toys scurry around among it all. It’s chipper & cheerful!

If you want to see more of these, check out a couple of my photo albums on Facebook from when I was doing “A Picture A Day” challenge a few years ago. Around the first of each month you’ll find that month’s table setting.