Tech “Support”

Back home for two days before going off on the second phase of the Great 2013 Graduation Tour, one of the little life details that needed to get taken care of was a smog check. No worries.

While there, my iPad starts popping up requests to link to the local cable company’s Wi-Fi Hot Spot. These spots are all over, they’re advertising heavily, we get something about it all the time by e-mail and in our bill. But I’ve never been able to sign in.

So again I read the instructions, put in the account information for my cable account just like it says, and get an error message that says that I need to have internet access on my cable bill in order to be eligible to use the Wi-Fi Hot Spots. Since we have a high-speed T1 account for our home Internet access through that self-same cable company, why is this a problem?

Almost 50 minutes later while talking to my third agent at tech and sales support, I’m ready to scream. What a bunch of freakin’ idiots!

When I get home I double check the cable company’s web site, and it’s quite clear about their account ID username and password being used for online account access (which I have), using the iPad and iPhone apps to control the home DVRs (which I have), using the iPad and iPhone apps to watch on demand stuff like HBO (which I have) and sports (which I have), and access to the Wi-Fi Hot Spots (which I’m trying to get). Figuring maybe it’s a different account ID username and password that they’re using the same terminology for, I try to sign up again specifically for a username and password for the Wi-Fi Hot Spots. The system says that I already have one, and confirms that it’s the one that I’ve been trying all along.

Now I try to get in touch with tech and sales support using their Live Chat function. An hour later, I’m again ready to scream. WHAT A BUNCH OF FREAKIN’ IDIOTS!

The best part was when we had gone over the problem over and over and over and they finally decide that the solution is to set up a Road Runner email account for me to use as an access ID. Tech support ignores the fact that this was already my Plan B, and my notes show that I set up that Road Runner account last August (trying to solve this exact same problem) and it doesn’t work either, it just gives me a different set of error messages.

I repeatedly go to the web page they specify in order to sign up for a new account – I repeatedly get an error message saying that the page can’t be shown due to a “Registration Error” and I should call the cable company to fix it. I repeatedly get told that’s impossible and I should try it again, the assumption on their part being that I’m too stupid to go to this web page. When I’m simply clicking on the link that they’re sending to me – error message. When I type it in myself – error message. When I open a new browser or a new tab – error message.

At one point the guy starts spelling it out to me, “h – t – t – p – s – colon – backslash – backslash…” “Dude, really, I know how to type in a secure http address!” ERROR MESSAGE!

The next try they simply start typing the step-by-step instructions faster than I can tell them that it’s STILL not working and I’m STILL getting the exact same error message. But now they’re assuming that I’m done and it’s been successful so they tell me I should have a new email address such as “abc@rr.com”. When I AGAIN explain that I got the exact same “Registration Error” page as before and there’s no “abc@rr.com” address to work with, I get a lecture about how the “abc” part isn’t literally true, that’s just an example…

Really? Gee, in over forty years of programming, tech support, hardware & software installation, software training, hardware maintenance, system administration in CP/M, Unix, Linux, Windows, Apple OS, I’ve never, ever figured out that I really shouldn’t use “abc” as my email address in that process.

F – R – E – A – K – I – N’  I – D – I – O – T – S ! ! ! !

When it got to the point where the only option they had to suggest was that I reboot my computer, reboot my cable modem, shut down my home network and disconnect the router and wireless, then start powering it back on with just one computer attached to the cable modem and then try again to reach that address at “h – t – t – p – s – colon – backslash – backslash…”

I just closed the chat window at that point. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back. They had the nerve to then send me a customer satisfaction survey – on a scale of one to ten, I gave them straight ones, and that was only because I couldn’t give them zeroes.

And they wonder why I never got a Road Runner account to begin with!