One thing I’ve noticed in several of the long-form writing efforts that I’ve tried is that I get two or three good chapters of dialog and action, and then go completely off into left field by throwing in a chapter of 100% exposition, before going back to actual storytelling. I’m not sure if it’s impatience or laziness (or a little of both), but the next draft has to fix it every time.
“Show, don’t tell,” is the standard instruction. You need to be able to craft your story to fill in whatever background you need by making it a part of the ongoing story, not by setting aside the story for a chapter and then jumping back in.
But now that I’ve done that scene and that scene to set the stage and I need to get to that scene to move the story along from here, we’ll finish our awkward chapter of exposition, while silently mulling over ideas on how to fix it in the next draft. Re-write it as several new scenes/chapters to do a more thorough job of laying the foundation for the story while simultaneously not being long winded and boring? Or drop it completely and rework everything else in the entire book to fill in background as it’s needed?
LATE EDIT: Oh, the hell with it. Later on (maybe after NaNoWriMo, or do I have to do it now?) I’ll rewrite the first half of this chapter to not be all expository and introduce new characters. Let’s make what was supposed to be the second half of Chapter Three into Chapter Four and do it right. Or at least, better. (That tapping sound you hear is my muse, over in the corner of my brain, giving me “The Look”, arms folded, glaring, tapping her foot impatiently. Yes, ma’am. I’m writing now, ma’am. Yes, I know better, your worshipfulness. I’ll do this part correctly, your wonderfulness.)
LATER EDIT: Yeah, this will work. Not many actual words tonight, with the introduction of new characters, places, and situations, it was slow going tonight, not many words, but a lot of structural stuff in my own head, knowing what needs to come next (acting out all of that exposition crap), so it should start coming more easily after this. I hope.
While I normally put in a lot of internal links to previous, related posts here, I won’t be doing that for what I hope will be this year’s thirty NaNoWriMo posts. If you have jumped into or stumbled onto this story in mid-adventure, there are plenty of other ways to navigate around the site to find previous installments. Actually doing so is left as an exercise to the student.
CHAPTER FOUR
“Commander Pawley, Doctor Teffeau needs to talk to you,” DEBBIE said. “She says it’s extremely urgent.”
“Put her through.”
“She’s on her way to see you now. She’ll be there in three minutes.”
That can’t be good, Pawley thought. “Okay, send her in when she gets here. Hold everything else unless it’s an actual emergency.”
“Yes, sir. Doctor Teffeau in, everything else on hold.”
Pawley quickly went through all of the files and windows open on his screen and saved, closed, forwarded, or deleted as needed. If the Surgeon General was coming here personally to give him news, it might be a while before he got back to any of the more routine things.
With a brief knock on the door, she strode in lightly and sat down in a chair across from his desk. The look on her face verified Pawley’s suspicions about the nature of her visit.
“We’ve got our first infestation,” Teffeau said without preamble, “a LEO maintenance & fuel depot run by SpaceChem, SpaceChem Echo. It looks like they just got a supply ship in and something in it was contaminated.”
“What happened to the quarantine protocols? How did the virus get past those?”
“Best guess is that the protocols weren’t followed to the letter. We knew that this would happen. It doesn’t matter how bad the news is from down below, or how untrustworthy and slipshod the decon work at Quito, Nanyuki, and Bontang is getting. You can put procedures in place until you’re blue in the face, but sooner or later someone’s going to be bored, or in a hurry, or absentminded, and the shit’s going to hit the fan. Today’s that day.”
“How many people are on that station?” Pawley asked.
“Eighteen, and it’s ‘were on,’ not ‘are on.’”
“They all died?”
“No, just fifteen of them. The other three weren’t showing symptoms so they panicked and got into a pod, abandoned the station.”
“Please tell me they went down.”
“With all of the news reports showing what’s going on down there? They went to another SpaceChem station.”
“In direct violation of the most basic rule we have for this situation. What in hell were they thinking? They know that no one will let them dock and contaminate themselves. Wait, no one let them dock, right?”
“Yes and no,” Teffeau said. “SpaceChem Delta told them to stand off and wait for instructions, but when they couldn’t raise anyone on the ground, they let them dock. But they’ve got the hatches still sealed, so now they’re asking us for help and instructions.”
“You said they couldn’t raise anyone at SpaceChem for instructions. Why not? DEBBIE, can you please get in touch with SpaceChem for me?”
“Working on that, Commander Pawley.”
“We’ve talked about this, Mike,” Teffau said. “The outer system AIs called it when the India and Pakistan thing blew up. All of the big, strategy-oriented systems are out there, but none of the human strategists here have disagreed. I know it sucks to be the one with your finger on the button, but it’s time to cut the cord, while we can.”
Pawley sat silently for a few seconds, staring absently at the wall, lost in thought. “DEBBIE, any luck getting anyone at SpaceChem?” he finally asked.
“No, sir. There are no responses through their normal communications channels. I have attempted to contact the AI at their primary processing facility in Indonesia, but those communications lines appear to be down as well. I am hearing from other, smaller AIs in the region that there are large civil disturbances throughout the area.”
“Thank you. DEBBIE, please send the information that Doctor Teffeau just gave to me to the other members of the Council. Tell them that I’m calling an emergency session for one hour from now, all need to be online. Then tell Amanda and Neil that I need to see them immediately.”
“Yes sir, sending those messages. Stand by. Amanda Louise and Neil Hermans are en route to your office.”
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 