For no particular reason other than I’m tired and in a bitchy mood tonight (and given the number of typos I’ve found already, this may or may not be anything in the same zip code as “rational”):
Who in the world could have possibly thought that bringing back a “new” Colonel Sanders would ever be anything other than a total Charlie Foxtrot situation? That’s such a laughably ludicrous concept to begin with, but at least they’ve totally screwed up the execution to boot. Granted, Norm MacDonald is much less creepy than the first guy they had, but the bar wasn’t set too high on that one to begin with. More to the point, on top of the MacDonald version being completely unfunny, the ads are just stupid. What part of “we’re a huge international megacorp completely screwing up in public and then doubling down on stupid when it’s obvious we’ve stepped it” is supposed to make me want to buy their chicken?
What’s with this trend, particularly on cable, of running a 15-second ad for a local company A, then running a 30-second ad for company B, and then running the exact same 15-second ad again for local company A? AND THEN DOING IT AGAIN ON THE NEXT COMMERCIAL BREAK? So now we’ve seen the same stupid, low-budget, annoying ad four times in two commercial breaks, maybe seven minutes apart. Does it make me want to buy their suits or a car there? No, it makes me want to start slapping some sense into freakin’ idiot marketing folks!
Matthew McConaughey mumbling to himself as he drives around. Really? I mean…really?
The DirecTV ads with quarterbacks and their alternate reality selves – they are unwatchable. Again, and you may detect a trend here, the stupidity is strong with these. It has helped us develop almost supernatural skills on hitting the TV’s mute button, but other than that? I’m sure that in Dallas they’re hoping for “Arts-and-Crafts Tony Romo” to show up since even he would be better than Matt Cassel, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for it.
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when Hundai’s advertising agency pitched their current “creepy, obsessed, obnoxious, stalker dude hanging out in the showroom and sitting in the cars” campaign. I’m sure the words “creepy” or “stalker” weren’t used – probably more like, “We’ll have a know-it-all kinda guy who’s the world’s biggest fan of Hundai, who will always be in the showroom willing to give unsolicited praise, advice, and statistics on our cars! Sort of like a living, breathing, über-positive Yelp review!” Yeah, not so much. Creepy. Obsessed. Obnoxious. Stalker.
Fantasy football, running THOUSANDS of ads on a weekend during football games – really, are there people out there who are not already wasting their money on this scam who you think will start real soon now if you spend another $10M on intellectually insulting commercials? And the legal disclaimers and fine print on your ads? You couldn’t read that with a scanning electron microscope it’s so tiny. And what I can read is a classic case study for a communications class on lying with statistics.
That’s all I can stomach for today. (Did I mention that I’m cranky?) Don’t fret, there will be plenty more to sling poo at later.