The Squirrelpocalypse

Signs and portents, folks. Signs. AND portents.

Heading down the hill yesterday morning after a night when the power had been off for a couple of hours and it had been raining and cold, I came upon the most bizarre scene.

The street is windy, so I was blind as I came around a curve. In the street before me were probably a dozen squirrels, all intent on something they were eating. I braked (of course) and expected them to scatter but they did nothing of the sort. A couple of them looked up, but most of them ignored the two tons of steel Mom-mobile death about to plow them over. And NONE of them moved.

I started to inch closer figuring they would get the hint.

They didn’t.

The nearest one just sat there, even as my wheel got to within a couple of feet. I was pulled way off to the right, practically scraping the curb on that side, and couldn’t go left because there were more squirrels over on that side.

This first little bastard finally moved about six inches so that I could get by and slowly the others on that side of the road did as well as I approached, although I could swear that one or two just ducked down enough to pass under the van as it rolled over them.

After the initial dismay over what I was seeing I was too far into the group to back out. It did occur to me that this is the way Hitchcock movies and King novels start. There was no freakin’ way I was getting out of that car to try to shoo away any of the little rodents.

I kept waiting for one to leap onto the hood and press its frenzied, rabid, furry face against the windshield, like the mynocks that Han & Leia and Chewie ran into.

I don’t know if it was related to the heavy rains. Or to the power outage. Or if someone just spilled a bag of pot out on the street and the squirrels were high as a kite on some epic wacky tabaccky.

But I do know that in the new house (unlike the old place a mile away where they littered the trees and yard) I’ve rarely seen any squirrels at all, and never more than two at a time.

So where did a dozen-plus of the little monsters come from all at once?

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Filed under Castle Willett, Critters

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