Evil Joey Chan

I’m more of a “dog person” than a “cat person,” which is not to say that I don’t enjoy a warm, purring ball of fluff in my lap on a cold evening. But given the choice, I would (and will in the future) have a dog (or two) but no cats. For now however, I “inherited” my daughter’s cat when she went off to college, so Joey Chan is “mine.”

The Long-Suffering Wife is mildly allergic to cats, so the two of them have long since reached an uneasy truce. The only time they’re supposed to have any real interaction is when I’m gone and Ronnie has to feed Joey for a day or two. Joey seems to be forgetting this as she’s gotten older and more senile (Joey, not Ronnie) and she will occasionally try to hop up onto Ronnie’s lap for petting and snuggles. Much hilarity has been known to occur during such events.

Both household critters, Joey the cat and Jessie the dog, are getting on in years. Neither is as spry as they used to be and they both sleep about twenty-three hours a day. (Since they used to sleep twenty-two hours a day it’s not much of a change.) We’ve noticed that both are exhibiting odd behavior. Jessie has started sleeping in places she’s never slept before, i.e., right next to my side of the bed, which makes it interesting when I get up in the dark and have to remember she’s there and try not to step on her. Jessie’s also doing that “digging through the carpet” thing that dogs sometimes do before they lie down. Another thing that she’s never done before, and another thing that’s a real joy at 3:00 AM.

Joey on the other hand is showing her senility in other ways. As the joke goes, she’s forgotten to be aloof. Where for years I was tolerated only because I was the “food guy,” now I’m the number one source of attention and petting and scratching. I don’t remember her ever wanting any attention or petting at all from anyone when she was younger.

The other thing she’s doing is taking over my office chair the instant I get out of it and then refusing to get up when I come back.

Doesn’t she look innocent? “Who, me?” “Is this YOUR chair?” “I was just keeping it warm for you!”

“No, that doesn’t mean that I’m giving it back. Go away.”

In the past when she did this there was an easy solution. Now it no longer works at all and she actually seems to enjoy it:

Good thing that she’s cute. And that she gives me an excuse to post “emergency cat pictures” at the end of a week where the world’s had a tough time.

Be cool out there, folks. The world’s a better place when we stop acting like assholes, and that goes double for international leaders. (You know who you are!) Do unto others and all of that.

Let’s put the “peace” back in “Peace out.”

Peace out.