The Puppy Called…

…and she would like her attention span back. (This may be rambling. Or insane. Or nonsense. Or all of the above.)

I was going to say “the kitten called” but then I remembered that today was “National Puppy Day.” Everyone and their cousin has been posting pictures of their dogs online all day. (I didn’t.) On the other hand, most of the people I saw on Twitter and FaceBook who were posting pictures of their dogs were the people who post pictures of their dog about ten times a day anyway, so it’s not clear that there was anything special about today for them.

That all got me to thinking — who determines that today is “National Puppy Day?” Or that tomorrow is… Well, I don’t know what tomorrow is. The only list I could find, which is titled as being unofficial, is on Wikipedia (which is about as unofficial as you can get). It doesn’t have anything listed for tomorrow, but it didn’t have today listed as “National Puppy Day” either, so the reliability of the data is low. Or possibly the gullibility of all of the rest of us is extremely high.

A little more searching proves that there are more extensive sources on the internet than Wikipedia. (Big surprise!) The Checkiday website (probably a clickbait site, but most certainly less so than Buzzfeed) seems to be up to their armpits in wacky and unofficial holidays. They’ve got today as “National Puppy Day,” as well as “National Chip & Dip Day,” “National Melba Toast Day,” “Near Miss Day,” “OK Day,” and “World Meteorological Day.”

None of this answers the question of who’s in charge. In fact, it’s worse now, since there are apparently also “World” fake holidays. Who’s in charge of those?

“Near Miss Day?” Are we talking about just barely dodging that lunatic on his cellphone on the 405, or are we talking about having her say “no!” when you get down on one knee only to find later that she turned out to be a serial killer? Big difference there.

Tomorrow is “National Agriculture Day,” “National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day,” “World Tuberculosis Day,” and “American Diabetes Association Alert Day” according to this website.

The source or authority behind the last one I can understand. Which gives me an idea.

Shouldn’t these “holidays” all be required by law to have their sponsor or corporate backer listed as part of the name? So we would have (for instance) “Pedigree’s National Puppy Day,” “Doritos National Chip & Dip Day,” “Nabisco National Melba Toast Day,” “Tulsa Chamber of Commerce OK Day,” and the “United Nations Full Employment for Weather Forecasters Society World Meteorological Day.”

Perhaps when a holiday gets to a certain level of notoriety, like Christmas or Thanksgiving, they can do away with that full disclosure information.

Or we could offer naming rights opportunities! “Amazon’s Christmas,” or “Butterball’s Thanksgiving.”

Or maybe we just assume that ALL of them, from “National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day” up to Christmas are all sponsored by Hallmark. Probably not too far off on that one.

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Filed under Dogs, Farce

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