Weltanschauung No Mas!

“The practice of cow tipping is generally considered an urban legend…”

Well, there goes my weltanschauung! What other bucket list items of my (not) misspent youth are also urban legends?

Streaking?” No, actually that was a well documented thing in the early 1970s. We actually had someone streak a high school basketball game in my Vermont home town. While he was wearing a ski mask or something to make himself less instantly recognizable, most of us knew who it was. It was not the huge mass hysteria that the oh-so-very-NOT-liberal-mainstream-media of the day made it seem, but it was more commonplace on college campuses (“Thank you, Captain Obvious!”) and in places like Southern California.

The Chicken Gun?” I can’t say if it’s really true or not, but I first heard of it from a close, trusted friend (we still miss you, Gary!) who happened to be working at a naval base in California where they actually did the testing. I’m not saying that he was pulling my leg, telling a tall tale, or even just passing on a story he had heard, but I’m willing to give this one a solid “maybe.”

Most of the urban legends out there are either so ridiculous (the babysitter and the phone call that’s coming from inside the house!), so bizarre (Mr. Rodgers was an ex-Navy SEAL sniper with dozens of kills), or so simply freakin’ STUPID (on {insert date here} Mars will look as big as the full moon!) that they don’t get more than about two seconds’ thought from me. And I always check Snopes first. (If we could just get a built-in “Snopes/bullshit filter” for FaceBook…)

That’s one of the problems with the current Presidential campaign. A good number of things that are actually being said are so bizarre that you would at first just figure it was some cockamamie satire or joke spreading around the internet. But when you see the quote or the story in the New York Times, and Reuters, and on CNN, and every other legitimate news outlet, it must be true. You’ll even see the video.

“Huh, he really DID say that! Damn! And he’s still in the Presidential race!! I wonder what Howard Dean thinks about that?”

With any little snippet being bizarre enough to be true, and every good urban legend containing the seed of truth, we’re now seeing a flood of full blown satire articles and urban legends being passed around social media, all taken as fact. Today’s favorite of mine comes from Ted Cruz’s time as attorney general of Texas, when he defended a law banning sex toys. The short version is that he said there was no Constitutional right to masturbate.

But now I’ve seen a couple of stories that blow that one little bit into a whole diatribe, where the scourge of American masturbation that’s sweeping the continent is a bigger threat than ISIS.

Um…no.

Wouldn’t our world be a better place if more people went out tipping cows and spent less time idolizing bizarro whack jobs as “leaders?”

1 Comment

Filed under Politics

One response to “Weltanschauung No Mas!

  1. berich56

    This year’s presidential election takes the lesser of two evils to a whole new extreme!!

    Like

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