We’ve all heard the phrase, but it is just a figure of speech or has someone actually met this horrible fate?
Ducks aren’t THAT big or aggressive, so it’s hard to see how it could happen when a couple of good kicks could open a hole in their ranks and almost anyone could out sprint them in the quarter mile.
Now, geese… – they’re MEAN, and aggressive, and nasty, and freakin’ dangerous. In their case the phrase would be more like “Beaten To Death By Geese,” but that doesn’t just roll off the tongue.
I guess part of the irony in this metaphor is the general knowledge that ducks don’t have teeth, just those blunt, rounded beaks. I’m sure they could pinch a finger or toe really well if given the opportunity, but I think any injuries resulting in death from a duck attack would be more a result of the side effects. For example, if you’re driving a convertible and a duck suddenly flies in and startles you or pokes you in the eyes, you might lose control of the car, crash, and die. That’s still more like, “Killed In A Stupid Accident In Which A Duck Was A Causative Factor.” Again, it neither scans nor rhymes.
On the other hand, with genetic manipulation getting to where it is, what if we crossed ducks with piranha? That would be fantastic! It would be much more entertaining when watching people throw stale bread at them in the park. You can bet that bread will be fresh next time!
As should be obvious, it was a very long day and it’s very late. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard.