Don’t you just hate it when you’re just trying to go out with the wife and kids for a little dinner, to stretch your legs, to get out of the house for a bit, when those assholes with cameras show up and flash! Flash! Flash! FLASH FLASH FLASH!! Over here! No, look this way! FLASH FLASH FLASH!
Hey, they started it – it sounded like they were training for the Olympic elephant dancing team up there on the roof tonight!
Well, there’s their “superhighway” on to and off of the roof – that tree makes it stupid easy to get up there.
“Come here, guys! Look at what’s up here. It’s that freakin’ idiot from downstairs with that big flash of his!”
(I would note that while this picture proves that there are at least four – I’m guessing a mating pair and at least two kits – in the flashing and flashlight glow I swear I saw a fifth, and possibly a sixth.)
“Stop that! It is so annoying! You are really getting on my nerves!”
“Honey, is he still out there?”
“Honey, he’s frightening the kids! He probably thinks you’re rabid, go scare him off!”
“Dear, what if he’s rabid? He’s the one standing on top of that really rickety and unstable ladder, perched on the edge of the Jacuzzi, on that step that says ‘Do not stand on this step or higher,’ using both hands with the camera and flashlight. Doesn’t that prove he’s barking mad?”
“So you don’t have to actually throw yourself off the roof into his face. Just run over there like you’re going to. He’ll go right off onto the concrete and bounce into the bottom of the empty Jacuzzi, breaking every bone in his body!”
“Not tonight, dear, I’m working on controlling my aggressive tendencies this week.”
“Let’s just go inside, he’ll cramp up trying to balance on that ladder, then he’ll go inside and put the pictures on his website. We can bring the elephants back out and get some more training in while he types.”
As for the quality and focus of these pictures, they’ll improve if/when I get a taller and much more stable ladder. Or when I get a flight suit when built in air bags that can keep me from breaking every bone in my body when I hit the bottom of the empty Jacuzzi.