TFW the universe reminds you why you must ALWAYS wear your glasses when reading the cooking (well, okay, maybe not “cooking,” more like “re-heating” or “preparation” at best) instructions on your Marie Callendar’s garlic roasted chicken with penne pasta dinner.
Pop a hole in the film – check.
Microwave for four minutes – check.
Open, stir, replace film – check.
Microwave for four and a half minutes – oops.
What’s the difference between 2½ minutes and 4½ minutes?
It’s realizing that it might be February before that sucker cools off enough to eat.
It’s wondering if you could do the entire Eastern seaboard a huge favor by thawing them overnight using this now glowing in the dark TV dinner.
It’s thinking about actually just heating up another one (correctly this time) because it would be faster than waiting for this one to get back down into triple digits.
It’s wondering if you’ve invented a whole new field of physics when you start speculating about things being hot enough to rip a hole in the spacetime continuum the same way that black holes get massive enough to do that.
(Narrator voice: “The lesson was… not… learned.”)