It’s a revelation, although probably neither a unique one nor a stunning one.
But it just occurred to me that with the current issues from all directions – personal, professional, political, societal – I can barely remember what it was like to NOT have a half-dozen things at once trying to tie my guts into knots.
I know that such times existed, and not that so terribly long ago, when I could just to a large extent put life on cruise control for a while. It’s not that those times had no stress, just that it was more manageable and only spiked occasionally. Even then the peaks were terrifying – just stressful.
Now it seems like the “good” days are when I’m only at an “8” on a scale of one to ten, while most days are at a “9+.” And then there are the occasional days that go to an “11.” (Insert Spinal Tap meme here.)
When I make myself aware of this state I can remember the more normal times and on an intellectual level I can believe that those days will return. I’m having more problems convincing my gut that it will ever unclench.
Others have lived through such times. Intellectually (again) I suspect that the “normal” times that I want back are in fact the outlier when considered across the long arc of history. Probably by several standard deviations from the norm. That doesn’t make me want them back any less.
This stress thing sort of sucks.
