Cursed With Self-Awareness

“The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.” – Annie Savoy, “Bull Durham”

There are so, so, SO many excellent quotes from this movie, quotes for every occasion. In trying to put my finger on my current mood (and sort out the mood from the exhaustion) being in the midst of this week/month/year, this one came to mind.

I have a great deal of admiration for those who can be at the center of the whirlwind, a hundred bazillion crises flying around them like bullets in the biggest firefight in history, and they remain focused, calm (or at least, not panicked, which may be the same thing), and functional.

I have very little admiration but a fair amount of envy (which is a sin, and not one I’m proud of in this moment) for those in the center of the whirlwind who remain “calm” because they have no freaking idea what’s going on.

There was an old cartoon (Loony Tunes? I can’t find it now) where a bulldog is babysitting a toddler. The crawling toddler goes from one dangerous, life-threatening, ludicrous situation after another while the dog desperately tries to keep up and keep the baby safe, all the while being pummeled and smashed himself. Through traffic. Onto girders being hoisted up onto a skyscraper construction site. And so on.

That’s what I’m talking about. Maybe those people are lucky, maybe they’re truly clueless, maybe they’re “blessed.” Whatever. They wander through the whirlwind and come out the other side without a scratch or a hair out of place and probably an extra $20 bill stuffed into a loose pocket for good measure. Meanwhile, I’m fighting to get through and find shelter, dodging every bit of SPFX debris from “Twister” – yes, including the cow.

It is who I am.

It still sucks some times.

How’s your week going?