Tomorrow’s the primary here in California. (A lot of other states also, and if it’s not tomorrow it might be soon in your state. Same rules apply.) And yes, we have already voted. We dropped our ballots off in a secure ballot box and got confirmation by email and text that they were received and counted.
Here are my simple rules for voting.
Rule #1: Never, EVER, EVER vote for a fucking Republican. ANY Republican. Not for President. Not for Federal office. Not for state office. Not for local office. Not for junior assistant apprentice dog catcher. Or anywhere on the spectrum in between. NEVER! Every Republican until the heat death of the Universe can FUCK OFF! It doesn’t matter if God Herself appears before you in a towering pillar of flame and says She’ll kill your puppy if you don’t vote for the Republican. DON’T DO IT!!!
Rule #2: Never, EVER, EVER vote for a fucking billionaire. Doesn’t matter if they’ve got really good sounding ads and sound bites and they started playing them a year ago. Billionaires are EVIL. Especially the ones who are power mad and want to get into politics because it sounds cool! Pro tip – if you’re a billionaire and you really, REALLY just want to help folks and make the world a better place, simply take the hundreds of millions of your personal cash that you want to blow on an ego-stroking campaign and simply start helping folks. If you’re a billionaire and you’re just too fucking stupid to figure out how to do this, contact me – for an extremely reasonable consulting fee I can research various programs and non-profits that will maximize the good that you can do, get you the biggest bang for your buck.
Rule #3: Your candidate doesn’t have to be perfect. “Perfect” is the death of “good,” the “perfect” candidate doesn’t exist and never will. Pick someone who’s better than whoever the current chucklefuck is – that bar is surprisingly low these days. Vote for them. Don’t “protest” vote, that just hands the election to some billionaire Republican. (See Rules #1 and #2 above.)
Rule #4: Read Rules #1 and #2 as many times as necessary.
Rule #5: ALWAYS vote!!! There is no election too trivial to not bother. “Oh, it’s just the school board…” Have you seen what these white supremacist Christo-fascists are doing on school boards, even here in “liberal” California? Banning books, kicking trans kids off of sports teams and out of school, making sure that the Ten Commandments are illegally put in every classroom while school lunches and textbooks are not.
Any disagreements? Let’s assume I’m right, you’re wrong. GET OUT THERE AND VOTE, AND VOTE FOR SANE, COMPASSIONATE, INTELLIGENT CANDIDATES!
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 