Has anyone ever played “Boring Meeting Bingo,” aka “Dogma Bingo,” aka “Bullshit Bingo?” You know, where you fill a typical 5×5 bingo card with phrases or event or mannerisms or memes, then see who can fill their card first with the observed phenomenon or catchphrase?
On the way from BUR to MAV via LAS last week I was Tweeting my game progress across the country in my made-up version of this, “Airlines Bingo”:
0630 at airport food/coffee kiosk, one pack of sushi. From yesterday? Day before? Would you eat for $100? $500? #whatpricefoodpoisoning
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
At Burbank, they call "non-stop to Las Vegas" REALLY? Where would they stop? Ontario? Palm Springs? Zzyzx?
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
In the typical long TSA line at 0630 for 0805 flight ABC, "final boarding call for Flight ABC" starts a bit of a panic in the crowd 1/2
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Then a few seconds later, "Oops, that's flight XYZ at 0705, not flight ABC at 0805" Thanks for the adrenaline rush, @SouthwestAir !! 2/2
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
It's time for Airlines Bingo! Screaming toddler, with a kicking-the-back-of-my-seat-the-whole-flight bonus! SCORE! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Guy next to me hacking up a lung, the guy behind me sneezing the whole flight. SCORE (Isn't this how "The Hot Zone" started?) #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Arguing couple desperately in need of a good therapist or a good divorce lawyer. SCORE! #airlinesbingo (Bizarre performance art, maybe?)
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Turbulence from BUR to LAS so no drinks, peanuts, or bathrooms – other guy next to me bitching about no booze (at 8:05 AM) #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Changing planes in a city with a "signature look" & seeing it all with a 5-mile hike from B19 to C5 #airlinesbingo pic.twitter.com/QZ9hqoea7A
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Seeing & listening to folks at the gate & realizing that 75% of the flight is going to your convention. SCORE #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Finding that EVERY stinking shop in the airport (BUR, not LAS) sells only Pepsi, not a Diet Coke in sight. SCORE panic points #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
The person boarding at the last second & sitting next to me just smoked two packs of cigarettes SCORE #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Racing a lady with blue hair & a "Red Hot Grandmas Love Las Vegas" T-shirt for the last window seat. SCORE!! Boo-ya, Nana! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) February 26, 2014
Today, my meetings in Midland over, it was time to go home by the same route in reverse:
Friday was 81F in Midland-Odessa according to car dashboard display, 86F yesterday. This morning — 26F with a layer of ice! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
Worst ice & snow is north & east – plane coming from BNA, HOU, & DAL so we SHOULD be okay. I hope. Gotta love winter travel! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
Sun's peeking out. Good, sun & ice hate each other, right? I'm an innocent pawn in weather wars. #airlinesbingo pic.twitter.com/yYM5cwZgLp
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
Critter alert! Woman waiting at gate has either a huge rat or a teeny dog in a folding cage. SCORE! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
Avoided semi-toxic & overpriced airport food, backpack had apple "liberated" from hotel breakfast bar, granola bar, & M&Ms! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
F-15 just took off like a bat out of hell, turning lots of fuel into lots of noise. He's having more fun flying than we will. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
Folks boarding with 3 & 4 bags instead of 1 or 2 & no one says a thing! SCORE!! No double points, it happens every flight. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
That's more like it – lady with 3 bags is in front row & has to find overhead bins for all 3 on a full flight. SCORE!! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 2, 2014
At LAS, off at gate C5, leaving out of C8 in 1:20 — waiting for the call in about an hour that we've been move to Gate B666 #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
iPhone is at 2% power, going to iPad. (Too close for missles…) You have a charger, why not just use it? Glad you asked #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
LAS has absolute worst ratio of power outlets to passengers! The "recharging stations" are worse than the few wall sockets! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
In addition, both men's room at this end of the terminal have had "accidents" & need cleaning. I recommend a flame thrower. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
Throw in the "Sunday night heading home" crowd out of Lost Wages & this place is a real zoo. Not a favorite by any stretch. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
In the last half hour the backround music has alternated between Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, Trishia Yearwood. Coincidence? #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
Guy just sprinted up to Gate C7 about 30 seconds after the plane pushed back from the gate, he's NOT a happy camper. SCORE! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
A lady just walked up to C7 also missing that flight, calm, "It happens". She's booked on next flight, 1st guy is still PO'd #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
A Taylor Swift song! I hadn't heard that she was headlining someplace here. #airlinesbingo Really more of a #snarkaboutLasVegas
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
Southwest's boarding process doesn't suck any worse than any other airlines, but it's not any better. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
If someone can come up with a good or better plan for boarding, they could get really rich, fast #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
Gotta wonder about folks who can't figure out the SWA boarding process. Foreign, non-English speaking, OK — they're not. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
People who "save" seats during Southwest boarding really come off as assholes. Sorry, call 'em as I see 'em. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
I really do like that we can use pads & smartphones during all phases of flight – about time! #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
Home at last! LA is so beautiful at night from the air — then you have to get on the freeway to get home. Magic destroyed. #airlinesbingo
— Paul Willett (@momdude56) March 3, 2014
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 