Flash Fiction: Second-Rate Superhero In Five-Line Anapestic Meter

I would like to apologize in advance to Mrs. Henry, my junior high school English teacher, who tried so hard, and is no doubt spinning in her grave as this is published…

When last we left our hero, Chuck Wendig, he was off to ComicCon! In his absence, he left this week’s Flash Fiction Challenge for us, commanding us to write a superhero story! But not just any superhero story! THAT could be done by mere mortals! No, we have to combine our superhero story with some other genre! It’s a superhero mashup! A superhero love story, a superhero mystery, a superhero slashfic (hey, there’s an idea — but it’s been a good day, so let’s not go that dark unless we have to), a superhero western, a superhero story set on a submerged submarine being hunted with depth charges… You get the picture.

Unfortunately for us all, I have a bad brain and while pondering the options, my bad brain said to me, “Remember ‘Mystery Men’? I’ll be you can’t write a story about wannabes like that — told in limericks.” Then my bad brain just sat there and watched as I squirmed and sweated. So now (as far better men than I have said) for something completely different —


His mask had a soft, velvet lining
While outside his armor was shining
Bright Knight on a quest
To hang with the best
If only to shut up her whining.

She married when youth was in flower
Believing he had superpower.
That did not prove true.
That bleak day she did rue
Stashed away in her ivory tower.

Bright Knight’s only power of note
Was in burnishing brightly the coat
Of chain mail and light plate
That made him look so great
While the weight made him fearful of boats.

The night that his wife was attacked
Bright Knight had some petty crooks sacked.
Her screams he did hear
And her demise was near
So the kidnappers’ trail he had tracked.

The room where they held her was dim
She the bait for their ambush of him
But his armor’s bright sheen
Was his weapon unseen
As he rescued and ran for the win.

For their plan as he entered their trap
Was to focus their ray guns and “ZAP!”
But the bolts were returned
And the kidnappers burned
While the good guys took none of their crap.

Now the wife is content to let go
Of the dream that her knight might be mo’
While her man’s not too bright
His suit bends back the light.
And this story’s the proof that it’s so!

1 Comment

Filed under Farce, Writing

One response to “Flash Fiction: Second-Rate Superhero In Five-Line Anapestic Meter

  1. Ronnie

    I found it charming. Even if I don’t know the meaning of Anapestic


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