There are a couple of great ideas rolling around in my head, just waiting to get written out and posted here. (Really, there are!) Unfortunately, there may also be alien larvae or something else equally horrifying in there.
Four weeks ago, when I was in Washington, I started to come down with a cold. As I usually do, I hit it hard with Cold Eeze (zinc lozenges), Dayquil, and Nyquil, and it cleared up in a day or two. Except for my eustachian tubes.
For those not familiar, those are the tubes connecting your ears to your sinuses. When you “pop” your ears with a change in pressure (like going up or down a mountain, or in a plane) it’s to equalize the pressure in those tubes. If you have them really well blocked and fly anyway, it can lead to excruciating pain.
I had them blocked and flew anyway.
Fine, had to get home. Figured that it would clear up along with the cold in a few days. Constantly trying to yawn or wiggle my jaw to clear them was a pain in the ass, but no big deal for a day or so.
Thirty days later…
Let’s skip all of the grisly details and just say that it’s non-fatal, but really, really annoying. And it’s such a stupid little thing! I’ve tried all of the suggested treatments from my hospital’s online site, the Mayo Clinic’s site, WebMD, and FamilyDoctor.org. I’ve taken this, and that, and drunk this, and eaten that.
OK, even for such a “stupid little thing,” tomorrow I see the doctor. I want a prescription for a big, long piece of surgical-grade pipe cleaner to put in this ear, pull out the other, then run back and forth like Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck would to clear it up.
Or better meds than I can get over the counter. Same thing.