50,000th Tweet

I’m thinking tonight about milestones and transitions. I'm sure it's just our monkey brain pattern recognition that combines them, the same neurons that make us see faces on Martian hillsides and Jesus in a piece of toast. (Mmmmm, toast… With peanut butter… Wait, focus!)

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

I know that I have a narrow viewpoint – white, middle class, US. (At least I'm a well travelled, card-carrying, left wing liberal and not one of those right wing neo-Nazis.) People who grew up outside the US obviously must think differently and I'm no doubt blinded by privilege.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

God knows there are enough transitions going on all over the real world. A peek at world and US history shows that there haven't been many extended periods of actual stability. The US Civil War was only 87 years after the Revolutionary War, with plenty of upheaval in between.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

I can't imagine what people thought the future would bring when they were living through World War I, but I'm betting it had a ton of stress and uncertainty, even if they weren't living in Europe. (Duh!) What about those in the US, wondering how far the war would spread?

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

World War II? With fighting in Europe, the Pacific, Asia, and Africa, even those in the US had concerns that the fighting and destruction would spread to our soil. Not to mention the fatalities and injuries coming home to every town and city, the war effort, and rationing.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

I'm too young to remember much of the Cuban Missile Crisis other than my parents being concerned. Vietnam and the Civil Rights movement in the 60's were a distant worry, but it wasn't like our entire society was going to collapse and need to be rebuilt from the ground up.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

I was obsessed with the news about Watergate, but when Nixon resigned I was actually at Annapolis, so I saw the news through a very narrow window, a newspaper – no radio, no television. Being a plebe at the time I was a pretty tightly focused on other things (like breathing).

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

Since then, while I’ve always remained a news junkie, the crisis-level items have always been on a personal level. College, jobs, marriages, kids, divorce, earthquakes, bills, deaths, parenthood. (Not in that order.) Oh, and loyalty to sports teams that don't win often enough.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

Now on a national level we have the constant Constitutional nightmare that is the current US political situation. It's not a secret that I think the US has been attacked by a foreign power with the intent of destroying us, and they might succeed. We're not out of the woods yet.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

On a worldwide civilization level, the data on climate change is getting more dire by the month and there's a concern that we may have passed a critical tipping point without even realizing it. I fear that in my lifetime we might realize that we've gone too far and can't fix it.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

On a personal level, there are things happening immediately which are probably going to be "transitional," but have a finite potential to be catastrophic. The waiting is not good for my nerves, but piled on top of the existential dread for the entire world, it's way too much.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

After a lifetime of relative stability and security, I find that a couple years of having the very basis of my reality rocked & shaken has been "less than fun." I don't like it, I want to fix it, I want to change it – and frustratingly, there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

I wonder how much this new information age has caused these political and social problems and how we'll adjust and correct course. In WW2 we saw only glimpses of the horrors in the US press and media – today we're drowning in information & an awful lot of it is lies and bullshit.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

Yet for all of that, when I can push the terror, dread, and hatred away, I know that I do not go into this battle unarmed or alone. Aside from my white, male, cis, old fart privilege, I have the knowledge that when forced into a corner, I can be far stronger than I ever believed

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

Let's not fool ourselves into thinking that I *LIKE* it that way. Nothing could be further from the truth. There's always a fear that the magic won't work next time, that I'll fail horribly, that it's all been a fluke in the past. Yet so far, when I've needed to, I've kept going.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

Always there are family and friends as well. I try to be strong for them, but if it becomes necessary I have faith that they'll be there to be strong for me. Beyond that are the myriad social media friends & acquaintances – those fighting, organizing, & resisting to make change.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

Every now and then it's good to take a breath, step back, and take stock. Milestones. Recently I was wondering what would come first – my 50,000th tweet or my 200,000th mile on my "mom-mobile" minivan. It's at 197,303 miles – this is my 49,999th tweet. Time to speak profoundly.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019

So for this, my milestone 50,000th tweet, a reminder to myself which I’ll share with you – this too shall pass, I will survive, I'm far stronger than I think, I can keep going when I just want to quit, pain is just weakness leaving the body, I am loved, & there are people I love.

— Paul Willett (@momdude56) January 28, 2019