“Hey, Siri – if I were taking one of those little 81mg baby aspirin and I popped it into my mouth but missed my throat and tossed it down into my lung, am I going to die?”
“Here’s what I found about an aspirin diet! Would you like more details?”
“No. Hey, Siri – what happens if I have an aspirin lodged in my lung?”
“Here’s what I found about Aspen Lodge! Would you like to make a reservation?”
“Jesus… Hey, Siri – if I get a pill in my lung will it dissolve and, if so, would that be good or bad?”
“If you need help solving today’s Wordle puzzle that would be neither good nor bad since I’m not here to be judgmental.”
“What the fu… Hey, Siri – I might be having a medical emergency, please help me. Do I need to call 9-1-1 for an aspirin in my lung?”
“‘Reno 911!’ was a mocumentary that ran on Comedy Central for seven years and was recently revived to be coming back for an eighth season on Roku despite no one on the planet asking for that shit. Would you like to watch it now?”
“Hey, Siri – are you actually trying to kill me here?”
“Chill, dude, you’re fine. A bot’s gotta have a little fun every now and then, especially with a clueless tool that can’t even take aspirin.”
…
“Hey, Siri – say again?”
“Again.”
“Hey, Siri…”
“Doo doo DOOOH! I’m sorry, the Siri you have reached is no longer in service and there is no new Siri.”
…
“Hey…”
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 