A Near Miss Of Themes

First, there were the Maserati.

What is the plural of “Maserati” anyway? Maserati or Maseratis? Maybe “Maserati” already IS the plural of “Maseratum.” Isn’t Italian sort of Latin-like? Latin-adjacent?

Sorry, I may have wandered there…

First, there were the Maserati.

Then there was the new car.

Tonight those themes nearly met. Literally.

The good news is that the new car has excellent brakes. I know the “Car & Driver” review thought that they were only good, not great, but in a pinch they worked great for me.

It was the white Maserati, the one that I see parking in the garage at work. It was late, dark, and rainy. I was heading out of the parking garage and turning right.

I guess the Maserati pilot didn’t figure that there would be anyone leaving the garage at that point, so rather than staying in his lane until he was next to the garage entrance and then doing a 90° right turn, he headed on a straight line from somewhere down the block toward the garage entrance. That’s a route that takes him straight through the opposing lane of traffic where anyone (like me) is trying to leave. I don’t know why he was driving way too fast on a narrow, wet side road. Because he could, perhaps.

My view of anyone driving like a freaking idiot the wrong way on the wrong side of the road is blocked by the loading dock there, so I was surprised when I pulled out and saw the Maserati bearing down on me at about 0.5c. (What can I tell you, he looked blue-shifted to me. Maybe it was the neon from the nightclub across the street, maybe it was a relativistic effect, maybe a bit of both.)

I wasn’t even out into the street yet, just nosing out across the sidewalk into the street, and I had nowhere to go and no time to do it in. Fortunately I had only moved about ten feet from the garage exit gate, so I wasn’t going fast. Nonetheless, I stomped hard on the brakes, getting a very satisfying inertial lunge forward.

It’s a good thing that Maserati didn’t have an extra layer of paint or clear coat as it flew past my front end and left headlight toward the garage entrance. I think the only thing that kept us apart was the light pressure from my headlights on his left side doors, pushing us apart by a fraction of an angstrom.

Via con Dios – moron!



Filed under Distracted Driving, Freakin' Idiots!

3 responses to “A Near Miss Of Themes

  1. By mistake one time I drove down the wrong side of the road when driving in the US. That scared the shit out of a lot of people I can tell you!


  2. berich56

    When I taught the kids to drive, I told them to never expect the other drivers to do the right thing; most of them are idiots that can’t drive. They thought I was really being rude to call all those people idiots; then they got their drivers license and found out that I was right!!

    Liked by 1 person

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