Category Archives: Distracted Driving

I was taking a stroll today in an unfamiliar area of town, having a couple of hours to kill and in need of some exercise.

Walking along a major boulevard (four lanes in each direction with an occasional center turn lane which was often replaced by a concrete center divider with plants & trees) I was approaching a driveway leading out of a small shopping center. A car was waiting to pull out of the parking lot onto the main boulevard.

It was obvious that this was a driveway in which a right-turn was the only legal turn. While there wasn’t a concrete center divider here, there was a broad painted divider that was painted in a cross-hatch pattern that indicated that crossing it was forbidden. This made sense since turning left involved crossing at least five lanes of traffic – very dangerous.

But the lady waiting to pull out was obviously waiting for an opportunity to turn left. I walked behind her car and checked just before the sidewalk – yep, two signs there that said “Right Turn Only.” I also saw something else across the street, in a church or school parking lot…

I waved at the lady and got her attention, pointed at the “Right Turn Only” signs. She flipped me off.

Okay, so much for counting on common sense or intelligence. So I waved again, got her attention, and pointed across the street. She once again indicated that she thought I was “number one.” Then she saw her opportunity and floored it, crossing four lanes of oncoming traffic, cutting left onto that painted center divider, almost hitting a car coming from the right in those lanes, and then continuing her illegal and dangerous left turn.

At which point the police officer in the black & white cruiser in the school or church driveway across the boulevard, who had been watching her the whole time just waiting for her to do something stupid and dangerous, lit up his siren and lights and pulled in behind her. She was pulled over within about fifty yards.

I understand that people make stupid, dangerous, illegal turns. I’m sure they do it in other cities, but it’s an artform in Los Angeles at times. But ignoring the cop that’s right there in plain sight and figuring that you can get away with something blatant? I don’t understand that at all.

Finally, a show of hands of who out there thinks that she learned anything from this? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Okay, who thinks she tried to blame me for distracting her or some other bullshit when she tried to talk her way out of the ticket after being pulled over?

Yep. Me too.

Yeah, that was way, WAAAAAAY too close, dude or dudette!

Yeah, I was turning right and had slowed down and was signalling, but there was no way any sane person would have gunned it through the intersection like that. It’s a good thing that neither of us had an extra coat of paint on our cars or we would have been swapping it.

And the way you then fishtailed your way back over into the left lane and gunned your mom-mobile SUV like NCC-1701 going to Warp Six – impressive.

So as I pulled up next to you on your right at that stop sign that you graciously deigned to honor, I was ready to use my “driving finger” to “signal” that I thought you were “number one,” if you know what I mean.

Who the hell drives like that?

But I didn’t, because it turned out you were just a kid, probably really early in your driving learning curve…

…and you Mom in the passenger seat was saying things to you at such a volume that my flipping you off and screaming would have just been pale and pathetic in comparison.

Good luck, Mom. I’ve been there.

Today was my turn to be a little bit more experienced, a little bit faster, a little bit smarter.

Tomorrow you’re on your own.

On the way home tonight I was deeply saddened to see how far the quality standards for BMW manufacturing have fallen.

A good chunk of my drive home coincided with a similar route by a woman driving a brand new (still has the paper plates!) BMW X6 M. It was deplorable how shoddy the construction was!

First of all, the vehicle was obviously built with no turn signals whatsoever. How can they get away with that? Aren’t there Department of Transportation standards that they have to adhere to?

Apparently not. Block after block she drove, weaving through traffic like Dale Earnhardt at Daytona, and no matter what, those turn signals never blinked.

And that’s not all! Being stuck behind her at a couple of red lights, I was horrified to see that her brand new, shiny, $100,000+ vehicle apparently also came without a gas pedal! The light would turn green and we would just sit there, waiting, going nowhere! She was obviously aware of the problem since she appeared to be texting a BMW service agent about the problem.

It’s sad that such a prestigious, luxury automobile could have such defects. But what other explanation could there possibly be?

Let’s just hope that the airbags aren’t defective when that freakin’ moron with the ten-cent brain driving the $100,000+ SUV wraps it around a bridge abutment…

A few years back there was a dedicated bus lane built in the West San Fernando Valley. For the most part it runs parallel to some major streets, which causes some difficult traffic issues.

In particular, people travelling parallel to the bus lane and wanting to turn right to cross it had to get used to a new set of signals. “Right on red” is a California tradition, perfectly legal (for the most part). But all of a sudden it was illegal at these dozens of intersections.

The reason was safety. If you’re turning right onto a street crossing the bus lane, there may be a bus barreling along at 50 mph who has the right of way. The bus may be coming from behind you and you’ve never had to look in that direction when turning right on red in your life. Oops! You’re dead!

As a result, at dozens and dozens of these intersections they put in lots and lots of signage that indicates that there’s no “right on red” turn allowed. There are illuminated red arrows on the traffic lights. Some intersections even have additional, big, red, flashing neon signs indicating that a “right on red” is illegal.

This was a big deal back when this all got installed. It took a lot of people a couple of years to figure it out and get used to the new pattern. Accident rates were initially high, but fell steadily. Then stopped falling, while still being at a level that was too high.

In came the robot cop cameras.

Now if you turn “right on red” (or if you run the intersection from the left or right, or while turning left across the tracks but doing it just a little bit late after that yellow light has turned a really deep shade of orange, i.e., “red”) there are multiple flashes as the robot cop cameras take a series of pictures. Your car, your license plate, you – it’s a full set, and they’ll send you copies in about two weeks, along with a ticket for about $700.

The accident rate resumed falling.

So tonight as I’m driving home on De Soto, parallel to the bus lane, after dark, I’m startled by the lightning-like flashes as someone coming from the opposite direction tries to run through on that “deep orange” shade of yellow light and gets busted.

Someone did something stupid, and they’ll pay for it.

But how do you explain the guy going in my direction who, not two seconds after having seen all of the flashes when Moron #1 ran the light, and faced with an array of “NO RIGHT TURN ON RED” signs, goes and turns right on red right-turn arrows in about four different traffic lights at the intersection.

That’s a SPECIAL kind of stupid right there!

And the third guy… Words fail me.

With not one, but TWO displays in the previous ten seconds of what’s going to happen, with many signs, many traffic signals, how in Hell does the third guy not understand that turning right on red through that intersection is the stupidest thing done in Southern California today? How can you be that clueless and still be breathing without being hooked up to a machine?

Flash-flash! (Your car!) Flash! (Your face!) Flash-flash!! – (Your license plate!) – Flash-flash-flashflash! – (The whole intersection, including the bus that’s cruising in the dedicated bus lane and about to T-bone you into ICU!!)

People can be morons…