Who Pissed Off 2016?

Bowie. Rickman. And now Frey. (And my van, but I’m trying to focus on the global issues here.)

It’s only the freakin’ 18th of January! We’ve got a long way to go here, 2016, so let’s figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it. I don’t want you being all bent out of shape over something and making our lives miserable for a whole year when we could get it out into the open, get it fixed, and then we can all get along without torturing each other.

Is it the whole “Two Thousand & Sixteen” versus “Twenty Sixteen” thing? I’ve always been solidly in the “Twenty Sixteen” camp and I’ve noticed more and more people switching as we get further into the century. (Hell, we’re already over 15% there, and I’m embarrassed to say that I had to calculate that percentage…think about it.) I might occasionally slip up, but I’ll do better, I promise. I can proselytize if it would help, just say something.

I know you’re a leap year and that means there will be a little bit more work for you, but consider it an opportunity to make that much more of a positive mark on history. I would like to emphasize the term “positive” there, since a positive mark on history would go over much better than, say, World War III. Everyone loves 1776 (even got its own musical!), right? 1969 got a moon landing! On the other hand, there are those other years, like the whole “Dark Ages.” They not only get a bad rap, they don’t even get remembered individually!

Oh, I see. It’s that election thing, isn’t it?

Look, 2015 already did its job in setting the stage for you. I know it seems like she did a lousy job with that whole “whackadoodles crawling out of the woodwork” approach to fielding nominees, and that does leave you a shitty mess to clean up, but think of it as an opportunity for greatness instead of a chore. For better or for worse, this US election may be one for the record books, either for good or for bad, so let’s keep your chin up and swing for the fences!

We’ll be here to help. I have faith that we’re not really stupid enough to put some incredibly unqualified, blowhard, megalomaniacal, misogynistic, racist, moron blowhard into the White House. As long as we don’t all start buying brown shirts to go along with our assault weapons, you’re good.

In the meantime, feel the Bern! It could happen! Can you even imagine your spot among your peers if we can pull that one off? You’ll be legen…

…dary! (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)

In the meantime, let’s work together and make this as easy as possible for all of us. There are plenty of other favorite musicians, artists, actors, writers, idols, and heroes out there that we would really like to see healthy and happy on New Year’s morning 2017. I know you can’t let them all make it, but jeez! Pace yourself!

There are some nice things coming up on your watch. The Olympics. The Juno mission to Jupiter. I’m sure you have some nice surprises up your sleeve, and that’s fine.

Cut us some slack and we’ll put in a good word for you with 1776!



Filed under Farce, Paul

2 responses to “Who Pissed Off 2016?

  1. US Presidential election year is always amusing for us in UK waiting to see which numpty gets elected.

    Liked by 1 person

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