The music swells. Cymbals crash. We ascend to a major key! There might even be a flourish of trumpets with a hint of a Christmas carol theme!!
Without even looking, you know that it’s about “Something:58,” often referred to as “Two Minutes from the Top of the Hour,” aka “They’re Finally Kissing at the Conclusion of the Hallmark Christmas Movie!”
Every. Single. Hour. 24/7. From about a week before Thanksgiving until 00:01 on the 26th. At which point the New Year’s movies start.
Or it means that the DIY Christmas cards are finally going in the mail tomorrow.
Po-TAY-toe, po-TAA-toe.
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 
What is with you and Hallmark movies? If you ask me, “I think he doth protest too much…” I bet you secretly LOVE those movies and binge them through the entire season. I mean, how else would you know when the kissing starts? Hmmm? Answer THAT why don’t you??
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Me thinks that you have cause & effect reversed! I know that the kissing starts at Something:58 because it **ALWAYS** starts at Something:58 – these movies are so formulaic, you can literally set your watch by them!
I will admit to having a certain growing fondness for Candace Cameron-Bure. Lacy Chabert’s not hard on the eyes. Who doesn’t love Danica McKellar? (The woman has a math degree for cryin’ out loud!) And Alicia Witt is just too cute for this world. (Yes, there’s a pattern here, and yes, I’m a simple creature.)
But would just the tiniest bit of a plot variation kill anyone?
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My tree is up – and decorated 🙂
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Huzzah!
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