I was making lunch today when I realized that, on the one hand, we’re getting really low on that spray bottle of Grey Poupon mustard, and on the other hand, there seems to be an awful lot in there considering that not much is coming out!
You can tap on it and pound it a bit on the counter top to move some of it down to the spout, but that technique has limited efficacy. My brain being what it is (sick, broken, warped, bizarre – yes, I think I like “bizarre” the best!) it occurred to me that what I really need is A CENTRIFUGE!!!
It could be one of those lab-type things, the size of a food processor that gets up to 1,000 G’s, but they’re several thousand dollars and seem to all be custom designed to ONLY hold test tubes. I need something more generic. More impractical. More…ridiculous.
I need to ride along with the bottle(s), to control the experiment. I need to get to NASA. Or Baikonur, either way. Russian centrifugal force is as good as any. Physics is physics. 20 G’s is 20 G’s.
We could do preliminary testing of the theory on a carnival ride. These things can pull 3 G’s – that would be a good start. I’m not sure how they would feel about me getting on with a collection of condiment bottles, but these things are run by minimum wage teenagers and carnival workers, so I’m sure that slipping them a fiver will grease the skids!
It will be an adventure!!