Category Archives: Computers

Nothing Remarkable Happened Today

It was just a normal Sunday at Castle Willett. We slept in, went out to breakfast, did our grocery shopping. A friend from high school had a birthday. (Hi, Diane!) I took down the rest of the Christmas lights, I didn’t fall off of any ladders or drop any hammers on my head, we watched some football. My son called from Germany, my daughter called from Sacramento, I wrote a little bit. The cat broke something, the dog was a good girl when other dogs came by our yard. No one died, no one went to the hospital, it was not in any way a red-letter day for any of us.

That was my initial perspective, and it is 100% valid and accurate.

Then I started thinking about what my grandfather, when he was the same age as I am now, might think of everything I did today. (We’re talking mid 1940’s on a farm in South Dakota.) About the only thing he would recognize would be the bacon and eggs, the cat, and the dog.

The digital alarm clock? His probably got wound up by hand.

The HD flatscreen television? I’ll bet that he didn’t have a television in the 1940’s, and the big thing in the 1960’s when he died was color TV.

The iPhone and iPad on my bed stand? I doubt that he had a phone in the 1940’s. I’m not 100% sure they had electricity by that point. Even if he did, then you’ve got that whole comparison of a 1940’s  rotary dial phone with a world-class computer that just also happens to convey phone calls.

Our car, the convertible with the big engine? OK, so the 1940’s Indy cars might or might not have had more horsepower (pole position was won with a speed of 126mph and I’m pretty sure our car could do that on a track), but any car my grandfather ever drove in his life most certainly didn’t. His tractor didn’t have a roof other than his hat, does that count as a convertible?

The 737’s going over our house into Burbank and the 747’s and 777’s going over our house out of LAX toward Asia? Sixteen hours non-stop is a long haul from LAX to Tokyo (been there, done that), but compare that to sixteen hours (with three refueling stops) to get from Los Angeles to New York on a DC-3. As for how commonplace air travel is today, I’m not sure my grandfather ever flew in a plane, ever.

The computers that I’ve used all day to write, do accounting, surf the Internet, read online newspapers? They weren’t even a theoretical dream to anyone on the planet in the mid 1940’s.

If we went to see a movie today, it would be wall-to-wall digital effects to make anything utterly believable, as well as on a huge screen, with flawless projection and eight-channel high quality sound. In the 1940’s, the big, new technological breakthroughs in film were color and stereo.

The ISS went overhead today with six men on board, a vessel that has allowed us to have a continuous human presence off-planet for over thirteen years. The moon’s just rising now, and there are six manned landing sites and twelve sets of boot prints in the dust. We’re driving two separate vehicles on Mars (one of them over ten years old), we have spacecraft currently orbiting Mercury, Mars, and Saturn, we’ve done long duration missions to Jupiter, we’ve swung by Neptune and Uranus, we’re currently on the way to Pluto, and we have spacecraft that have left the freaking solar system and are now in interplanetary space. In the mid 1940’s, only Wernher von Braun and a few of his friends that that his would ever happen.

I’m listening to music from satellite radio and watching live tennis from the Australian Open. Our car radio has dozens of AM stations (all talk and news), several dozen FM stations, or we could plug in our iPods or iPhones. He had a radio the size of my desk with maybe three or four stations he could get during the day, maybe a couple dozen at night. It would have been a big deal to hear something live such as a presidential speech from Washington or war news from Europe.

That was my more introspective perspective, and it also is 100% valid and accurate.

It’s all a matter of perspective, which we forget all too often. “Nothing remarkable happened today” — when you compare today to yesterday. “Mind blown, gobsmacked, and miracles everywhere” — when you compare today to just fifty or sixty years ago, well within a normal lifespan.

Maybe something remarkable did happen today.

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Filed under Castle Willett, Cats, Computers, Dogs, Entertainment, Space, Travel

Juicy Chunks O’ Wisdom For Monday, December 23rd

‘Cause I’ve been putting up more lights all day and I’m sore, that’s why.

  • Nope, still can’t remember that really, really wise and juicy chunk o’ wisdom that I forgot in the middle of writing the post on December 9th. IT’S HAUNTING ME!
  • Um, yeah. Yesterday was Sunday the 22nd, not Sunday the 21st. It’s so tough getting good help.
  • Does anybody like the “Cherrios dust” that fills the bottom of the bag when all of the Cheerios are gone? That stuff is nasty!
  • It’s one of those times of the year when the International Space Station is making lots of very bright evening passes. Here in Los Angeles we have excellent passes on Friday, the 27th, at 18:34 and on Saturday, the 28th, at 17:45. (At least I believe those are the correct days of the week and dates of the month – you might want to double check that.)
  • I have started using Google Calendar a lot and for the most part I like it. But… Is there a way to “copy” or “clone” an appointment? By that I mean, can I pick an existing appointment, “copy” it, then go to another day and “paste” it with just the date changing? I know that there’s a way to set up repeating events (for example, a meeting every Monday at 9:00), but what I want to do is take a meeting or event that happens at irregular times (Tuesday at 16:00 one week, Thursday at 10:00 the next, and so on) and cut and paste, then just update the details that are different. Can this really be that hard?
  • If you’re off work tomorrow morning and your Christmas shopping is all done, tune into NASA-TV to watch the ISS spacewalk. I could watch that all day!
  • That tiny nihilist in me finds it so amusing to see staid news organizations like the New York Times and Wall Street Journal with headlines about the Russian punk band, “Pussy Riot”. I listen to punk, I’m about 99.9999999% sure that they’re not referring to cats.
  • I get that there’s this whole meme about cats and how they dance across your computer keyboard and keep you from working and they’re supposed to be more “cute” than annoying. Sorry, I’m going to stick with annoying, as in, EXTREMELY. Cute will only take you so far, especially when I’m on a deadline.
  • If anyone just won the lottery and is looking for the perfect last-minute present for me, I would refer you to this article from a few days ago. Thanks in advance! (Hey, if you don’t ask, you can’t be told to take a hike!)
  • Tough to decide which is cuter, snoring cats or dogs twitching and “woofing in their sleep” while having a doggie dream.

Remember, if someone gives you a holiday greeting, take it in the spirit in which it was given, even if it’s not the holiday greeting YOU use. If you greet people with “Merry Christmas!” and someone says “Happy Holidays!”, it’s not the time or place for a rant about some imaginary “war on Christmas” that Faux News dreamed up. If you’re Jewish and someone says “Merry Christmas!”, it’s not the time to start a holy war. If you burned candles on the solstice but someone says “Happy Chaunakah!”, say “Mazel Tov!” and smile. Let’s be nice to one another out there, folks!

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Filed under Cats, Computers, Dogs, Juicy Chunks, Space

What My Browser Has Learned From Me

A simple exercise tonight, since I’m feeling particularly simple myself.

I use Chrome as my primary browser (I’ll use IE for certain things that just don’t seem to display or print correctly in other browsers) and it’s pretty good at anticipating what my most used sites are. So what site does it first expect that I want to go to when I type in each letter of the alphabet?

A – aa.com (guess what airline we fly between LAX and ORF on a regular basis)

B – boingboing.net (where else are you going to find a kangaroo/wombat love story, a Daily Mail article about a Klingon bat’leth being seized in England, and an expose on waste in the Pentagon’s $400B annual budget?)

C – cnn.com (it’s not news that I’m a news junkie – blame the US Naval Academy)

D – dictionary.com (makes sense, I’m writing a lot these days)

E – epguides.com (a wonderful site that not a lot of folks know about, contains episode and air date and synopsis information for just about every show ever shown on television)

F – flightaware.com (you don’t have to be a pilot to love this, great if you’re travelling or going to pick up a traveler at the airport and you need to know if the plane’s on time)

G – google.com (duh!)

H – http://www.hollywoodreporter.com (I have absolutely nothing to do with “the industry” and can’t even conceive of them throwing enough money at me to ever change that, but I do like to keep tabs on what’s going on)

I – imdb.com (for every time you say, “What movie/show/actor/actress was that…”)

J – jeopardy.com (someday Ken Jennings’ earnings records will be mine!)

K – kickstarter.org (there’s some neat stuff there, as I pointed out here)

L – latimes.com (see “c”, above)

M – maps.google.com (when you need to know where there is and how to get to there from here)

N – http://www.nytimes.com (see “c” and “l”, above)

O – http://www.orbitbooks.net (because, like, duh, BOOKS!)

P – pauljwillett.wordpress.com (for some reason I was surprised by this, probably proving that I’m more fried than I think today)

Q – quickbooks.intuit.com (my day job has been as an accountant & corporate controller for several decades)

R – http://www.random.org (because of the Flash Fiction challenges, no doubt)

S – spaceflightnow.com (because I’ve been a space cadet for over fifty years)

T – terribleminds.com (Chuck Wendig’s blog, to which I’m a little bit addicted)

U – urbandictionary.com (I learn the most interesting and occasionally disgusting terms and phrases here)

V – http://www.vsha.org (recently applied for a job there)

W – http://www.wikipedia.org (all right, makes sense, but I was actually expecting it to be whatever.scalzi.com, John Scalzi’s blog, to which I’m a LOT addicted)

X – xkcd.com (without a doubt the best webcomic ever – if you haven’t read it, go spend about eight hours doing so instantly, if not sooner)

Y – youtube.com (because cat videos!)

Z – zillow.com (because I want to know if I’m ever going to be able to sell my house without taking a bath financially)

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Odds & Sods For Wednesday, July 24th

Item The First: Today’s APOD (Astronomy Picture Of the Day – what, you’re NOT looking at it every day? I’ll wait while you fix that…) is freakin’ brilliant. It’s a simple idea carried to an extreme and used to create something beautiful. Ken Murphy pointed a camera at the sky and had it record a picture every ten seconds. For an entire year. He then took all of those pictures and put them into a HD composite image.

Capture

Image credit & copyright Ken Murphy (MurphLab)

Looks cool? Yeah, but it’s not just a still picture, it’s a video.

He synched up the time so that each frame shows the time-lapse video for that day starting and ending at the same time, then has them run simultaneously. And because he starts before sunrise and ends after sunset, and because he’s in San Francisco and not at the equator, at the beginning and end you can see how the days lengthen and shorten with the seasons. You see pink sunrise clouds, orange sunset clouds, rainy days, sunny days, an entire year in one short video.

Item The Second: This is another truly amazing video, showing all of the Space Shuttle flights (well, at least snippets from every one of them) in 8:01. Do yourself a favor and watch it full screen, HD, and turned up LOUD. Repeat as necessary to regain your sanity after dealing with freakin’ idiots. Except of course it made me think of the freakin’ idiots who mothballed the Shuttles… Breathe. Breathe. Om, om, om, om…

Item The Third: I knew that when telephone area codes were assigned in the late 1940’s we had only rotary phones, so New York City got “212”, Los Angeles got “213”, Dallas-Fort Worth got “214”, Chicago got “312”, Detroit got “313”, and so on so that the users in the big cities could dial long distance faster.

What I didn’t know is that in 1999 a relatively “low” area code was given to a less densely populated area of Florida instead of to densely populated suburban Chicago. A behind the scenes campaign by Florida lobbyists convinced the numbering agency to change their mind and thus Florida’s “Space Coast” got the “3-2-1” area code. (That whimsical bit of trivia just about made my day!)

Item The Fourth: Pop Quiz!! What is it you never, EVER do when taking simple astrophotos of the sun with your $1 “Solar Viewer” card? Your answers will be graded on creativeness as well as on accuracy.

Item The Fifth: The gremlin body count is slowly rising, which is a good thing. It was getting pretty frustrating there for a couple of weeks.

The cable television problem finally got fixed by a great repair guy from Time-Warner, but only after some serious frustrations with their service department before I could get him out. I had already done a fair amount of troubleshooting on the problem and had eliminated the first several dozen things they wanted me to try. (“Reboot your cable box and wait three days – if that doesn’t work, get a new cable box.” “Really? Have you listened to a single word I’ve said to describe the problem?”) I was about 99% sure I knew what the problem was and where, but I can’t access that equipment and I don’t have the parts to replace it. Once the cable guy got here, confused by the notes the service department had left him, I quickly showed him what I already knew, he came to the same conclusion I did, found the fried parts, replaced them, and we’re all happy now.

The computer that died is really dead. It wasn’t the power supply, probably the mother board or CPU, but on an eight-year-old computer it’s not possible or worth it to repair. The hard disks were all fine (no data lost) as were the video card, sound card, RAM, and so on, so a new motherboard & CPU got the system back up and going. Of course, Windows 7, MS Office, and a number of other programs are freaking out and wanting to re-authenticate since they’re seeing a “new” system, but so far that’s been an inconvenience, not a killer.

The iShower bluetooth speaker is back up and running with some new batteries. The first one I had died after three and a half months but they were great about giving me a full replacement anyway – kudos to their customer service department! But when that first one ran low on batteries I got warnings for about a week before the batteries were completely dead. This second one has given me no warnings at all, it just died. But replacing the batteries seems to have been the only problem. It was about time for new batteries, based on my experience with the first one, I just wonder why I didn’t get warnings this time. Whatever, it seems to be working again now and I really like having it in the shower to play tunes in the morning.

Best of all, I also again tackled the problems with The Long-Suffering Daughter #2’s car. I’ll tell you some time about how this whole mess started (short version – a four-day lost holiday weekend in Coalinga) but for now I’ve just got her car sitting in the driveway gathering cobwebs. (She’s in China – or Europe, it depends.) I don’t want to let the car sit too long without being driven, and the added incentive was that her car needed a smog check to get registered for the year. I was able to get it started, got it smogged, ran some errands, and put it back into the driveway. We’ll get a permanent fix when one of us can afford $2,000 to replace a $20 part, but that’s another story.

First world problems, all. But like I said, I live here in the first world. You take your little victories where you can.

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Gremlins

“If it ain’t one thing, it’s another!” (I tried to find out who said that first, but I see it attributed all over the place. My favorites are from fictional characters Rosanne Rosannadanna and “Buckaroo Banzai”‘s Rawhide, so we’ll go with them.)

I like computers and electronics and music and video and ebook readers and cell phones and iPads and so on. I like them a lot. It’s great to have more computing power and memory and utility in my pockets and on my wrist and in my briefcase than the entire planet had when I was born. (More or less.)

But it’s a pain when they break, and they always seem to break in bunches. I always thought it was coincidence, but a friend once told me it was gremlins and I’m starting to believe it.

Simple things, like the waterproof, Bluetooth speaker for the shower that connects to my iPhone. It works like a charm for a month or three. It’s great to have some excellent tunes in the shower every morning. Then it just dies. No dead batteries, no error messages, it didn’t get dropped, it didn’t get smashed, it just stopped working. What a pain!

The cable’s been acting flaky and getting worse for weeks. It seems heat related, gets better at night, gets worse during the day, gets much worse on hot days. But all the TV’s at one end of the house are fine, all the TV’s at the other end of the house are flaky. Certain channels drop out, certain channels are fine. Internet is fine coming through the same connection. So what gives?

A desktop computer that’s one of my primary ones has been working fine for six or seven years. Today, no warning, no magic blue smoke, no nothing. It just won’t turn on. What a big pain!

I realize that all of these are “first world problems”. But I live here in the first world!

So tomorrow I’ll attack back – best defense is a good offense and all of that. I have multiple computers and the one that’s died almost certainly just blew a power supply, which I can replace in an hour or so. The cable probably has an amp or switch that’s feeding half the house and it’s gone bad, so I can track it down, crawl under the house if I really have to, and replace it. I don’t know what to do about the stupid shower speaker thing, but I’ll figure out something.

Once I get all of that taken care of, maybe I can tackle the car problems. On the other hand, most of the problems with my car are due to the fact that it’s twelve years old and has over 165,000 miles on it, so maybe shopping for a new one would be a better use of my time.

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Alex From Microsoft

Yesterday I got a phone call from “Alex From Microsoft”.

Really! I couldn’t make this up! Alex! Alex from Microsoft! He called me! Personally! On my very own phone!

Despite Alex’s rather heavy accent (he sounded a lot like Kunal Nayyar), I didn’t hang up and move on with my life. Instead, I said, “Really, Alex? You’re from Microsoft? The one in the United States?”

This is normally the point at which these phone calls mysteriously get cut off. Given the news of the last week, I now suspect that the NSA has some ‘bot listening in and it deliberately interferes with my ability to get professional computer help directly from the font of wisdom and benevolent guidance that calls like Alex’s represent. But that’s just a working theory.

Alex however did not get cut off, and insisted that he was indeed from Microsoft. Furthermore, they had detected an error on my computer and were there to guide me with help in correcting it.

Since our call had not been terminated at the first sign of my skepticism about Alex’s true identity, I now had a new insight into Alex’s nature. Thinking that Alex might be a trainee of some sort, I asked him if his English language lessons had progressed to the point where he knew what the term “bullshit!” means.

Alex had apparently not heard that term, but assured me yet again that he was from Microsoft, there was a problem they had detected, and he wanted… If I didn’t know better, I might have thought that Alex was repeating the same rote script, starting over from the beginning every time that I interrupted him.

So I interrupted him again.

I asked Alex what version of Windows this “problem” was impacting, since I might not be using that version. He said that he was Alex, he was from Microsoft, there was a problem they had detected… (“HODOR!”) I asked him to stop and again asked which version of Windows this problem affected. Alex said that the problem was with “THE” Windows program, saying it like Buckeye pro athletes pronounce “THE Ohio State University”.

Again I called bullshit on his explanation and explained to Alex that I thought that this call was a bogus scam and asked him who he worked for and how stupid did he think that I was?

Again, our call was not immediately terminated, confirming in my mind Alex’s rookie training status. But my comment did prompt a flurry of conversation in the background on Alex’s end in a language that I did not recognize. It must have been Canadian – the Microsoft offices are somewhere up near Canadian, aren’t they?

One more time Alex told me that he was with THE Microsoft and that they had detected that I had six computers running with this problem… I cut Alex off and asked him if he would like to guess again about the number of computers I had running Windows. I also suggested to Alex that he ask someone in the office with him to explain what “bullshit” meant, especially if he was going to be spreading so much of it in his chosen career.

Now things got weird.

After more conversations in a foreign language in the background, someone else came on the line (who also sounded a LOT like Kunal Nayyar’s second cousin) and identified himself as Alex’s supervisor. He insisted they were with THE Microsoft and had detected a serious error in Windows on the laptop computer that I was using. They were there to help walk me through a procedure which would solve my problem and fix my computer.

I pointed out that  the computer I was using at that moment wasn’t a laptop and wasn’t using Windows. But for all of our sakes, could he please teach Alex what “BULLSHIT!” means?

Now the NSA ‘bot cut in and disconnected me from Alex and his supervisor. I must have gotten too close to the wisdom.

Let’s hope that Alex learned his lesson.

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Tech “Support”

Back home for two days before going off on the second phase of the Great 2013 Graduation Tour, one of the little life details that needed to get taken care of was a smog check. No worries.

While there, my iPad starts popping up requests to link to the local cable company’s Wi-Fi Hot Spot. These spots are all over, they’re advertising heavily, we get something about it all the time by e-mail and in our bill. But I’ve never been able to sign in.

So again I read the instructions, put in the account information for my cable account just like it says, and get an error message that says that I need to have internet access on my cable bill in order to be eligible to use the Wi-Fi Hot Spots. Since we have a high-speed T1 account for our home Internet access through that self-same cable company, why is this a problem?

Almost 50 minutes later while talking to my third agent at tech and sales support, I’m ready to scream. What a bunch of freakin’ idiots!

When I get home I double check the cable company’s web site, and it’s quite clear about their account ID username and password being used for online account access (which I have), using the iPad and iPhone apps to control the home DVRs (which I have), using the iPad and iPhone apps to watch on demand stuff like HBO (which I have) and sports (which I have), and access to the Wi-Fi Hot Spots (which I’m trying to get). Figuring maybe it’s a different account ID username and password that they’re using the same terminology for, I try to sign up again specifically for a username and password for the Wi-Fi Hot Spots. The system says that I already have one, and confirms that it’s the one that I’ve been trying all along.

Now I try to get in touch with tech and sales support using their Live Chat function. An hour later, I’m again ready to scream. WHAT A BUNCH OF FREAKIN’ IDIOTS!

The best part was when we had gone over the problem over and over and over and they finally decide that the solution is to set up a Road Runner email account for me to use as an access ID. Tech support ignores the fact that this was already my Plan B, and my notes show that I set up that Road Runner account last August (trying to solve this exact same problem) and it doesn’t work either, it just gives me a different set of error messages.

I repeatedly go to the web page they specify in order to sign up for a new account – I repeatedly get an error message saying that the page can’t be shown due to a “Registration Error” and I should call the cable company to fix it. I repeatedly get told that’s impossible and I should try it again, the assumption on their part being that I’m too stupid to go to this web page. When I’m simply clicking on the link that they’re sending to me – error message. When I type it in myself – error message. When I open a new browser or a new tab – error message.

At one point the guy starts spelling it out to me, “h – t – t – p – s – colon – backslash – backslash…” “Dude, really, I know how to type in a secure http address!” ERROR MESSAGE!

The next try they simply start typing the step-by-step instructions faster than I can tell them that it’s STILL not working and I’m STILL getting the exact same error message. But now they’re assuming that I’m done and it’s been successful so they tell me I should have a new email address such as “abc@rr.com”. When I AGAIN explain that I got the exact same “Registration Error” page as before and there’s no “abc@rr.com” address to work with, I get a lecture about how the “abc” part isn’t literally true, that’s just an example…

Really? Gee, in over forty years of programming, tech support, hardware & software installation, software training, hardware maintenance, system administration in CP/M, Unix, Linux, Windows, Apple OS, I’ve never, ever figured out that I really shouldn’t use “abc” as my email address in that process.

F – R – E – A – K – I – N’  I – D – I – O – T – S ! ! ! !

When it got to the point where the only option they had to suggest was that I reboot my computer, reboot my cable modem, shut down my home network and disconnect the router and wireless, then start powering it back on with just one computer attached to the cable modem and then try again to reach that address at “h – t – t – p – s – colon – backslash – backslash…”

I just closed the chat window at that point. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back. They had the nerve to then send me a customer satisfaction survey – on a scale of one to ten, I gave them straight ones, and that was only because I couldn’t give them zeroes.

And they wonder why I never got a Road Runner account to begin with!

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