It’s staring at me tonight. And I’m not talking about that silly James Cameron movie.

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If the Universe is a giant simulation in God’s computer, I would like to file a bug report.

Don’t forget to do the little things at least once a day. Or an hour. (Enjoy life like a boss!)

It was lovely and cool and quiet. (Except for the pissed off raccoons scrabbling around on the roof.)

The bad juju can not touch you here. (The mosquitoes, on the other hand, can kick your ass here.)

The news is breaking as we speak about shootings at a concert in Las Vegas. I won’t repeat or spread any unconfirmed reports and add to the misinformation and chaos. However, in this day and age where everyone has a cell phone, the initial videos being sent out from the crowd are pretty disturbing.

I’ll admit it, I can’t take much more tonight. I’m going to go curl up with some ice cream and some music and try to get some sleep.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Sorry, Diane, that story’s going to have to wait at least another day. Tonight we’re taking in our final Angels game of the year.

Seems self explanatory…

That moment when you’re taking the recycling stuff out to the barrels at the curb because they’re going to get picked up at O’Dark Thirty tomorrow morning and it’s dark outside now so you flip on the front porch light before you go out and while it doesn’t give a ton of light it’s better than nothing so with your arms and stuff piled up eye high you step off the porch and peek around the boxes just in time to see a couple of somethings hovering in the air in front of you and it’s too late to stop as you step into what you realize is a FREAKIN’ HUGE spider web and once you’re through it and it’s on your face and arms and in your hair THEN of course you stop in borderline panic but there’s nothing you can do really because you STILL have your arms full of all of this loose junk so while you try to decide if you should drop it and get the icky creepy spiderweb off of you you come to realize two things the first of which is that you’ve stopped right where that wonky sprinkler head hits more of the sidewalk than it does the grass and it’s now soaked your pants leg and is working on filling your shoe and the second of which is that the things you saw hovering in the air by the spiderweb were in fact THE SPIDERS which are now freaked out of their minds on your head and going toward your neck and you know if they go down inside the collar you’re going to fling the recyclables all over the yard out where they’ll get soaked by the sprinklers while you tear off your clothes right there in the front yard and do a crazy dance screaming about spiders and of course the neighbors won’t think that odd at all and all you can think is, “How is it conceivable that this week somehow did NOT suck enough already?”

The bane of my existence – somewhere in the top 100 at the moment, at least.

I swear, this story started to come out the day AFTER I wrote the first of these posts this week. From the Bangor Daily News:

Mainer attacked by rabid raccoon drowns it in puddle

I love Maine. I’ve been to Maine. I have good friends from high school who live in Maine and good friends from my Pepperdine MBA class who went to college in Maine.

To the best of my knowledge, none of them have ever been attacked by a rabid raccoon.

Maine jogger who killed rabid raccoon becomes overnight media sensation

It’s not lost on me that Bangor is also home of one of my all-time favorite FaceBook accounts, that of the Bangor Maine Police Department. If you don’t know about this account, stop looking like I’m pulling your leg and immediately go start reading. I recommend some “Got Warrants?” columns for starters.

Actually, first let’s start with today’s post from them:

I can’t help but think if we had a little more BMPD and a little less politics, this might be a much better place to live.

At the very least we would have the neighbors laughing more with us and less at us.