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There Was A Bug

A ***BIG*** freaking bug!

Okay, so it wasn’t a huntsman spider from Australia or a camel spider. But it was far, Far, FAR bigger than I was expecting.¬†Especially since I wasn’t expecting it at all.

I was driving at the time. I felt something on my left hand, on the steering wheel, and looked down to find SpiderZilla crawling across the back of my hand.

I used words my mother would not approve of at truly astonishing volume.

I did not lose control of the car. But not for lack of trying. My attention was definitely elsewhere, despite my speed and the number of cars and trucks surrounding me.

While screaming like a little girl expressing my dismay, since I couldn’t really use my right hand to swat at it, I shook my hand and it fell off.

Which is not necessarily better.

You see it, right?

SpiderZilla is now down on the floor. Or on the seat. Or on my leg. Or crawling up my pant leg. Or…

Should I pull over? Stop in the middle of traffic? While that would no doubt be my first move if it had been a rattlesnake, it wasn’t clear that blocking a lane in rush hour was called for. Not for a…

…a what? What kind of spider had it been, besides **BIG**? Was it actually a spider? It had looked…

I had only seen it for half a second as I was freaking out. Yeah, it was a bug, it might have been a spider – but it might have been a cricket or something else, I guess. Maybe.

It was brown. If it was a spider, was it a brown recluse, a “brown widow”? Did they get that big, and if so, why am I still living in this part of the world?

And then…

There it was, crawling up from below. Fortunately, not on me. It was coming up the side of the center console.

Yes, it was that big, probably at least four inches long. No, it probably wasn’t a spider. But no, I had no freaking idea what it was.

My best guess is some sort of mantis or “walking stick” bug. Not like anything I had ever seen before around these parts.

But now I wanted it dealt with. Permanently. Before I did lose control of the car and be without a decent excuse about why I caused the accident that was going to happen¬† if I didn’t deal with it.

So with a clear shot, while holding my lane and watching out for traffic ahead, I squished that little bugger into next week’s protoplasm.

Not what a good entomologist would do, but I was a physics major, so screw that!

 

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Trip Aftermath

Of course, is a cold that I most likely picked up from someone on the damn plane.

I’ll be over here sniffling and coughing and attempt to see through the one eye that’s not swollen shut.

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No Context For You – June 17th

While we complain about the ordeals of travel, and really, isn’t it stupid that we all have to take off our shoes every freaking time we get on a plane just because one inept terrorist tried (and failed!) to put explosives in his sneakers a dozen years ago, but having said that, isn’t it absolutely amazing that ordinary folks can get in a big aluminum tube and five hours later be in the other side of the continent, or on the other side of the planet in twelve or fifteen hours?

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Vermont Omlette

I don’t blame Vermont.

This version of a ham & cheese omelette wasn’t designed by any left-wing political movement in Vermont, or a vegan restaurant gone to extremes, or even an embarrassing mix up by our waitress.

No, indeed I give the waitress some serious props for diving with both feet into her role of deception and subterfuge. She made it happen!

I do not blame the perpetrator of this switcheroo. A tiger can not change his stripes.

No, ultimately I blame myself. After a lifetime of experiences that should have left me hyper vigilant, I blissfully went and danced on the Bouncing Betty.

At least I wasn’t surprised when the trap was sprung. It’s all good fun, right?

Then the monster sent me the video that I hadn’t even noticed him taking…

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Forty-Five Years

What a wonderful day with old friends, some of whom I see every few years, some of whom I haven’t seen since we graduated high school, 45 years ago.

It was lovely. I enjoyed every minute of it.

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Verde Mont

It’s full of mountains. They’re all really green. Say it in French, quickly.

We spent the day driving around a great deal of it with only the barest of plans except to meet dear friends for dinner at 18:00 and to stay off of the interstate as much as possible.

And to see deer, loons, and moose. (Two out of three ain’t bad!)

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Presents From Vermont

We got to Vermont after an overnight in the big metal tube flying through the troposphere, followed by a drive north from Boston.

In celebration, the great State of Vermont left us with some presents!

See, there’s our rental car parked out in front of the amazing Hartness House!

See, in the rain and wind we got a gift baby maple leaf! A symbol of the state and its wonderful maple syrup!

Wait, what’s this? Also a “gift,” but obviously not from any wonderful Vermont representative! This must be a “gift” from a New Hampshire or Maine bird!!

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