Category Archives: Castle Willett

My Day On Ladders

The loud  bangedy bangedy sounds were not followed by loud and horrifying scream of agony sounds. In Paul-land, this is known as a “win.”

The Christmas lights are all down. Two of the four gutters are cleaned, more or less. The pruning shears have sung their sweet, sweet song of death to the rogue branches that keep clogging the gutters and messing up the roof. And all of the leaves and debris on the back porch has been cleaned up after that first one-two punch from El Niño this week.

I am going to be so very freakin’ sore tomorrow.

And my idiot “smart” exercise watch still isn’t satisfied. I started out (just after Christmas) with a goal of 5,000 steps, which I’ve done about half the time. Today I’ve done 11,399 steps so far, a new record. Yet when I spend a half hour on my butt for dinner, the nagging and the buzzing and the vibrating and the judgement starts again.

Oh, the loud bangedy bangedy sounds were from when I was up on a ladder with a hammer, re-attaching one of the gutters to the eaves. It was the one where all of the leaves had clogged it and the weight of the debris and water had pulled it loose. The combination of me + ladder + hammer has been known to be hazardous in the past. I am grateful that no Wilhelm scream escaped my lips tonight.

It’s the little things.

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The Last Christmas Lights

I went out tonight to take a set of pictures of this year’s Christmas lights, then start unplugging them and pulling in the long extension cords before this series of storms hit.

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Once more, standing in the street to get the shot.

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I liked the look of this much shorter exposure. Remember as a kid, covering a paper in all kinds of crayons colors, then covering over that with a layer of black crayon, then scratching away at the top layer to get a line drawing made of the rainbow colors underneath?

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The obligatory annual picture with Orion high above. You can just see the two left stars of the “belt” and bright blue Rigel at the top of the frame above the palm tree on the right.

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It was a year when we only put up a bit more than half the lights we normally had in the past. There were spots such as these trees that would normally have had four or five stings of lights in them, but had only two. Where normally there would be lights all the way up to the top, this year they were only where I could easily reach on a short ladder.

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The bush with the white lights on the right normally had four or five strings of white lights – this year it had two. The birch tree normally has several strings of icicles and stars – this year it had none. There were bushes where there were no lights at all.

Now mind you, we still had more lights than anyone else on the block. But we normally have more lights than everyone else on the block combined. It’s all relative. This was an off year for us.

As I was pulling the timers and cables, it occurred to me that these might be the very last Christmas lights here for us. If all goes according to plan, we’ll be living elsewhere before next Christmas.

I guess we’ll get to get one last hurrah in the “worst case” scenario for selling the house. I’ve always thought that the house would sell better when lit up for Christmas. If we aren’t out this summer or early fall, maybe we’ll be trying to sell it when Thanksgiving rolls around next year and the lights go up again.

Maybe.

 

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Tannenbaum 2015

I hope this holiday season finds all of you and your loved ones healthy, happy, and joyous.

I hope you were “nice” enough to get what you want from Santa, but “naughty” enough to not be bored or boring. (Wendy is correct.)

I hope you have something better to do tonight that read a long diatribe by me, so I won’t write one.

Merry Christmas, y’all.

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Two Hundred Ninety-Eight Cards

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The Long-Suffering Wife and I bit the bullet today and signed, folded, stuffed, addressed, stamped, sealed, and mailed our 297 deluge of Christmas cards today.

It would have been more (it was 350 last year, and the list has grown to about 375 this year) but the card company we’ve used for a dozen years decided this was the year to screw things up. It was bad enough that they don’t have the “airplane theme” cards that we’ve loved for years, but the order got shorted by about 25% and by the time I yelled all they could do is issue a refund.

Next year we design our own cards!

Watch the mails, yours is coming. (Probably.)

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The Roller Coaster Continues

Obviously.

Already the pee-mail is piling up in the front yard from Jessie’s friends.

I don’t know who’s going to read all of that, but it’s not me. And I’m sure as hell not going to try to answer any of it!

Seriously, our thanks to all of our friends and family, those we know face-to-face and those we know only online, those we see every day and those we see every five years, all of whom have been there to support us in the bad times and celebrate with us in the good.

Your kind words and thoughts are much appreciated.

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Filed under Castle Willett, Dogs, Family

Good Thing She’s Cute!

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Some days it’s all that keeps her alive.

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Days just like today.

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Trying to be patient.

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Christmas Lights 2015 (Day One)

The day after Thanksgiving may be “Black Friday” to the rest of the world, but it’s “A Zillion Freakin’ Bright Lights Friday” at the Willett household. As in Christmas lights, of course.

In the old days, before adulthood, before the military, before college, before they all had their own apartments, it was an all-hands on deck family affair which typically took two or three days of the Thanksgiving weekend. In recent years, the number of lights has continued to grow, while the number of helpers has continued to shrink (this is a good thing, Christmas light labor aside), so it’s usually a five or six day job for me alone.

This year The Younger Daughter is here and anxious to help, so we got a lot done. Not everything, but a lot. It’s not at all bad for a first day’s work.

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Did Mrs. Kravitz Strike Again?

I mentioned a few days ago that one of our neighbors had Christmas lights up and lit on the day after Halloween. That’s a little extreme, even by my fanatical Christmas light standards, but I kept my comments to myself. Well, except for making a snarky note here, but I’m pretty sure none of my neighbors read this or even know it exists.

I noticed a couple nights ago that the lights haven’t been lit, and I didn’t see them yesterday or tonight either.

With those facts in mind, let me tell you a story from long ago about our Christmas lights and one of our neighbors. (Late edit: It occurs to me after typing all of this out that I may have told this story before – so be it.)

We’ve put up a fair number of lights every year, but less in the early years here than in the last decade or so. It took us a few years to build up our collection and hit our stride. The lights always start going up on the day after Thanksgiving (if we’re not travelling, it’s happened once or twice I think) or at least that weekend. It’s the taking them down that’s usually an issue.

These days we have enough lights so it’s four or five or six days of work to get them all up. In part that’s because I always used to have the three kids helping and they’ve been grown and scattered for a few years. (The Youngest Daughter will be visiting this year and is already making plans for how we’re going to attack it like the good old days.) What’s always amazed me is how lights that took six days to put up can come down in a half day. Must be that gravity thing.

In the early years here (it’s been well over twenty) there were years where we weren’t (by which I mean “I wasn’t”) terribly obsessed with getting the lights down after January 1st. We would stop lighting them up by the  4th or 5th or so, but between long, long work hours, the kids being in school, weather, baseball, and a zillion other parenting things, sometimes we got to the second half of January with the lights still up.

After this happened for the second or third year, we got a handwritten, anonymous note left on our doorstep, complaining about it and letting us know that we were making the neighborhood look shabby and driving down property values.

Which was total bullshit on SO many levels, but we’ll take that as a given. Let’s just say that having lousy neighbors will drive down property values far more than having Christmas lights still up on January 16th.

What really chapped my hide about the note was its anonymous nature. I consider myself a good neighbor and a nice guy. If someone had a problem with something we’re doing as neighbors, such as leaving our lights up, I would have much preferred they knock on the door and tell me. I wouldn’t go ballistic, I wouldn’t take offense, and I wouldn’t throw a fit or start a fight. My most likely response to something like the lights being up would be along the lines of, “Oh, okay, my bad, I’ve been busy and didn’t know it bothered you, I’ll get on it and try to do better next year. Sorry.”

But the anonymous bitching and veiled intimidation tactics? If you’re looking to sour my opinion of you quickly, that’s the way to do it!

We never figured out who it was, and it was tempting to get a 4×8 sheet of plywood and make a HUGE snarky response letter to prop up in the front yard – but I didn’t. And yes, ever sense then I’ll prioritize getting the lights down in the first week or so of January.

I always referred to the anonymous neighbor as “Mrs. Kravitz.” Do you remember the neighbor on “Bewitched” who was always spying on Samantha and Darren (or Darren II) and going nuts? She’s apparently moved into my neighborhood.

Now that I’m “being good” for all of these years and it’s been fifteen years or so since the “Mrs. Kravitz Christmas lights incident,” I’ve wondered if the person who wrote the note is even still in the neighborhood or even still alive? Have I not gotten any more notes because I’ve met their unknown and unknowable standards for neighborhood decorum? Or have there been no more notes because they’re complaining to St. Peter about how the grass above them isn’t cut often enough?

Flash forward back to November, 2015.

Did the neighbors turn their lights off for now because someone said something to them? (As a side note, did they say, “Oops, sorry, we didn’t think it made a difference to anyone, we’ll keep them off until Thanksgiving, thanks for mentioning it to us”?) Or did they get an anonymous note from “Mrs. Kravitz” about how the photons from their early Christmas lights were destroying property values and putting a burr under the saddle of some busybody who has nothing better to do with their life?

I don’t know.

But I’m curious. I probably won’t go over just for the purpose of asking, but if I’m out and about and they’re in the yard or putting up lights, I might have a friendly chat, neighbor to neighbor. You know, the way someone should have had a chat with me twenty-some years ago.

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A Dog, Her Yard, And A Contrail

Her days may be winding down, but she does like to go out and survey her territory.

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Soon the dark nights will come, and all of this will be covered in Christmas lights! On a daily basis, dusk will come, the automatic switches will trigger, and some nuclear power plant somewhere will have to put another turbine on line to handle the load.

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Debating Seasonal Change

This is the time of year when we turn to one of the great pastimes of modern society – arguing about when Christmas lights and decorations and store displays should go up.

A couple of things bring this debate to the forefront of my cerebellum. First, as I mentioned, a neighbor has his Christmas lights (a single string along the gutters – pffft! – amateur!!) up and illuminated the day after Halloween.

Everyone active in social media has been bitching about “Christmas creep” for weeks as the first store displays started to rise. I saw reports of some being seen just after Labor Day. I don’t know about your neighborhoods, but here in the bee-YOU-tiful San Fernando Valley I saw my first of this year at Lowe’s, the day I was there for parts to fix the broken irrigation pipe. (Okay, to try to fix the pipe, followed by abject failure.) Then, a good number of places started to put up a little bit of Christmas material just before Halloween. After that? I don’t think the last trick-or-treater had gotten home and tucked into bed before legions of stock clerks descended on the stores to go maximum Christmas.

So is it Thanksgiving season? Christmas season? An all-inclusive, dodging-the-question-in-our-best-politician-style “holiday season?” Rabbit season! Duck season! Rabbit season! Duck season! Rabbit season! Rabbit season! Duck season! Duck season, shoot me, shoot me now! (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)

I would propose that you’re all wrong. It’s catalog season!

We’ve ordered gifts from a lot of online and mail order places over the years. Not only do we get multiple catalogs from each of them, but when they sell their lists to other companies, we get all of those catalogs also. Then from a third generation of places we’ve never heard of when that mailing list gets sold…

Monday, the flood gates opened at the Post Office.

We have a PO Box and most of the year we can go a week or even two without it filling up. But in November and December, even going to get the mail three and four days every week isn’t enough to keep it from being so crammed with catalogs that you can’t get the mail out of the box.

Here’s Tuesday’s haul:

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Thirty-two catalogs weighing in at over seven pounds! Of the thirty-two, I only recognize four companies that we’ve ever done business with. And these are just the catalogs addressed to The Long-Suffering Wife! I had gone through the stack at the post office and tossed four or five more (airplane and photography stuff) that were addressed to me.

We’ll do this at least three times a week for the next nine weeks. That extrapolates out to just under a thousand catalogs weighing in at almost 200 pounds!

“Well, that’s the price of doing business!” you’ll say. “Bullshit!” I’ll say. After all of the trees killed, the production costs, the printing costs, and the mailing costs, how much business will they get from us?

Zero point zero dollars. Every single one of these catalogs went straight into the recycle bin within seconds, and 99.9% of the rest of that thousand catalogs will follow just as quickly.

In this age of Amazon Prime, internet shopping, and shopping from your freakin’ phone, why do companies continue to waste all of this money, time, effort, and trees on something that has such a pitiful rate of return?

Speaking of Amazon, how’s that deforestation thing going? If you’re missing a few acres of rain forest, I might have a clue about where it went.

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