Squeeze every three to five seconds. Relax. Don’t move your arm. Let me know if you’re feeling any discomfort.
Try not to clot until we tell you to. You’ll be done in 10-12 minutes, then you’ll get cookies & OJ.
And have fun out there!
Bye, January! At least you weren’t 2023! But that bar wasn’t set real high now, was it?
Hello, February! A big game is coming! An extra day!
In 29 days… we return to Arrakis.
In 68 days… the Sun disappears. (For 4:24 at least.)
Filed under Health, Photography
Here in the US everything has a bar code so that it can be electronically scanned, tracked, inventoried, sold, returned, and consumed. Even fruits and vegetables started having these little stickers with barcodes attached to them about ten or fifteen years ago.
I was eating this pear’s twin this afternoon (the pear’s pair, as it were) and I was distracted. I was eating over the sink to minimize the mess since it was an excellent, tasty, and juicy pear. I was staring out the kitchen window into the back yard, watching a couple of squirrels clean up the leftover bird seed from the morning’s feeding. In my hunger and distraction, I may have bitten in and eaten that little sticker.
It made me pause. Then the questions started. (My brain does that…)
Was I in danger? Probably not I figured. I guess the biggest danger would be that it would lodge someplace and not digest or move on, blocking the natural flow of things, if you know what I mean. (You know what I mean!) But it was small, thin, and lightweight, so it wasn’t like when little kids eat quarters or dogs eat the squeaky thing out of toys that they got by ripping the “indestructable” toy apart in thirty seconds. I didn’t see any surgical interventions in my future.
As some philosopher said, “This too shall pass.”
Would it poison me or degrade into something toxic? It’s not even really paper, more like some kind of thin plastic, or Tyvek. Late-stage capitalism might be encouraging that sort of thing, especially if it actually costs money to use materials that not only don’t kill the consumer but are tested in advance to prove that. But still, there’s also the healthy fear of being sued for $50,000,000,000,000 by my heirs (and not a penny less!) so let’s assume that I’m okay there.
Just in case, should I try to make myself vomit it back up? First of all, ewwwww! Secondly, as stated above, it was an excellent, tasty, and juicy pear. Why ruin that experience with a backwash of gastric fluids? And thirdly, if there was any danger from this sticker going down, having it coming back up with some velocity behind it would have to be more dangerous. Right?
So should I go to urgent care? The emergency room? Um, no. Those places are full of sick people! These days with the flu, the seventh (or is it the eighth? ninth?) COVID wave in full swing, and god knows what other contagious bits flying about, I’m far, FAR safer here at home and taking my chances with the natural passage of the sticker through my GI tract.
Great! I have nothing to worry about! Enjoy the rest of the pear! (I did.)
Except…
It occured to me later that, with the government at all levels having abandoned us to COVID, the best and often only measure for tracking it is the wastewater monitoring. And by “wastewater,” in case you haven’t thought this through, we mean “raw sewage.” And now in about 36 to 48 hours that wastewater is going to have this sticker and its barcode sailing through the system. The testing is all automated, which means computers. The wastewater testing setup probably has various optical and biological testing equipment hooked up to a big computer and it’s running a lot of specialized algorithms to run a lot of specialized sensors and equipment. Which is all well and good, except that that ultra specialized software’s 17th cousin twice removed on its mother’s side is the scanning software from the self checkout line at Piggly Wiggly.
It may be looking for parts per billion of COVID in my sewage, but it’s gonna see that bar code and go off the charts. Or it’s going to launch our ICBMs. Or it’s going to call the aliens hiding in the asteroid belt and tell them to abandon us because we’re neither intelligent or civilized. (If the alien overlords are watching Fox News, this will not be news to them.)
Whatever happens – it might be my fault. Or the squirrels’.
Filed under Deep Thoughts, Farce, Health, Photography
That one! THAT pipe/valve/plumbing thingie is the one!
Also, SHIT! I’m getting age spots on my hands…
Which, I guess, beats the statistically most likely alternative.
Filed under Health, Paul, Photography
I hate getting a cold.
Worse, I hate waking up at 02:15 or so with that buzzing, burning, electrical sensation in a sinus that feels like that one evil cold virus crawled in there and is trying to borrow into your blood stream. And there’s nothing you dan do about it. Yeah, like I’m supposed to get back to sleep with that nonsense going on in my skull!
The best defense is a good offense, as Vince Lombardi said. (Or it might have been General George Patton. Or Alexander the Great.) 02:30, chug some orange juice for the Vitamin C, use it to wash down two Dayquil, and then stay awake long enough to suck down a ColdEeze. This will remind you that ColdEeze tastes a tiny bit awful, but ColdEeze and anything else always tastes worse.
Keep hitting those OTC drugs with regularity over the next 24 hours, carpet bombing the viral terrorists that have invaded your corpus and harshed your mellow. With luck, the drugs will leave your brain only slightly fuzzy and instead of trying to breathe through a wet sponge all day you’ll just have some tingly sinuses (sinusii?) and the occasional sneezing fit.
Wear a mask if you have to go out around other, innocent citizens who do not wish to share your virus. (i.e., don’t be a dick!)
If you’re the praying sort, thank whatever gods you worship that all of the deadlines from Hell are behind you. You should be able to function well enough to deal with the routine workload on Monday.
Repeat as needed on the next day and hopefully it won’t be needed on the third day.
So far it seems to be working. Day One completed.
Filed under Health, Photography
Today’s been worse than yesterday, which was in turn worse than Sunday, at least as far as having any time to write. This too shall pass (one way or the other) but for now, another zero word count day.
And I almost completely forgot to post this until I noticed the time.
You know how Arnold Schwartzenegger looks as the Terminator at the end of T2 when he says, “I need a vacation!” Yeah, that.
Another endurance moment. 2010.
After having a “come to Jesus” moment about my fitness (or lack thereof) and weight (way too much) in 2009, but not yet being ready to run a marathon, I instead walked a marathon (on Saturday) and a half-marathon (on Sunday) for the Santa Barbara Avon Walk to fight breast cancer. Along with several hundred miles of walking during training.
That pink baseball cap? I still have it here somewhere. I had it custom embroidered with the phrase “Pain is just weakness leaving the body,” only in the original Klingon.
True story!
Filed under Health, Photography
Yet another day of a zero word count. Again, I knew this was coming. The deadlines of this week have been there like Gandalf’s Balrog for weeks now – “You Shall Not Pass!”
The good news is that I’m starting to think I’m going to make it. The “to-do” list that looked like the NYC phone book is starting to look like a Post-It Note. Okay, it’s one of those BIG Post-It Notes, but you get the idea.
But on that priority list, writing for NaNoWriMo is “later!”
Plus, I had a commitment to go down a pint.
I know my name, so why do they put this sticker on me? Is it so that they know what name to shout as they’re slapping me to wake me up after I pass out? 🤣😎
Filed under Health, Paul, Photography, Writing
I took advantage of a sort of a spur of the moment opportunity today. I was at the office to take care of an IT thing and only a mile or so from the Kaiser Permanente campus where I get 99% of my medical care. The Long-Suffering Wife had told me that they had a walk-in clinic for flu shots and the new COVID vaccine, so I swung by and found that to be true. I got both.
For the record, aside from the tiniest bit of aching in my arm (mainly only if I touch it, so DON’T TOUCH IT!) there are just about zero side effects. As they say, Your Mileage May Vary, but no fever, no chills, no aches, no nausea, no headache, no anything.
But that spontaneous adjustment to my schedule and the adjustments that I’ve made to free time just in case, on top of the healthy doses of stress and angst from the freakin’ world, plus the usual time pressures from *LIFE*, plus just plain getting old…
It all adds up. I might be a bit verklempt tonight, short a few functioning brain cells. In need of a pick me up.
As is often the case, especially when I’m looking for a prompt or thought for my daily post here, I go flipping at random through old pictures. And also as is often the case, my muse doesn’t let me down.
From a dozen years ago, in Southampton, wandering around town taking pictures in some scattered light showers:
Get your flu shot. Get the updated COVID vaccine. Wear a mask. Look for rainbows. Smile!
Filed under CoronaVirus, Health, Photography, Travel, Weather
“Assistance” in this case being ibuprofen.
Two thoughts:
Something simple, like getting up from my desk or chair and walking to the bathroom or kitchen, is one of those simple things in life right up to the point where you can’t do it without being in enough pain that you want to scream and/or pass out. When you get enough “assistance” to be able to do it again at about 75% functionality, even that’s just a joy.
I’ll be fine. It’s just a muscle sprain of some sort. They ran tests to make sure it wasn’t something more serious. Having done that, it’s a RICE routine, “assistance,” come back if any of these horrible things happen, and give us a call if it’s not better in a week or two.
Okey dokey!
I hope that your week is going better than mine. “Adventure” is good, but if I’m going to be in that much pain I want to have done something exciting, stupid, forbidden, evil, sinful, ill advised, or all of the above to remember and savor in return for the punishment and consequences. The fact that it was a day ending in “y” is not sufficient!
Some days, in addition to already being Mondays (I mean, jeeze!!), throw in extra roadblocks.
Like, significant pain every time you try to move or walk.
Like, three and a half hours in Urgent Care.
So if there was barely enough time to get things done before that particular pile hit the fan, there sure wasn’t time left over after.
And there most certainly isn’t a lot of time to think great thoughts and pontificate in a blog post.
So here’s a couple of “spare” pictures from Saturday night at the Music Center.
“Peter Pan Goes Wrong” was hilarious and spectacular, by the way. See it if you can.
While this season is over for us at the Ahmanson, next season’s subscription has already been secured, starting in December. In between, next month, we’ll be seeing the return of “Hadestown” because it was just so stinkin’ fine last year.
I’m going to go take some pain meds, slap on an ice pack, and feel sorry for myself. (I’m fine, just some sort of unexplained muscle sprain. Getting old sucks. But beats the alternative. Barely.)
Filed under Entertainment, Health, Photography
How does one tell the difference between having long-COVID brain fog and just being tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, and confused?
I’m one of the lucky (or obsessive paranoid) ones who has never yet (as far as I know) had COVID. I’ve never tested positive, I’ve never had any of the bad symptoms, just the odd cold once or twice a year like normal. I’ve never had the fever, breathing problems, or any of the other major symptoms of COVID. I mask pretty religously out in public, still. On all of the flights to Winnipeg and back I was usually one of the only three or four folks on the entire plane who was masked. I’m vaxxed, with a full set of boosters.
So I’m guessing it’s just still that “burning the candle at both ends” habit. Although I’ve always said that for me it’s more like just sticking that sucker into an industrial strength microwave and melting it down from every direction.
I guess in theory one could get some rest, catch up on sleep, figure out how to eliminate (or ignore) the stress and deadlines, and see if it goes away – but we all know that’s not ever going to happen.
So – little steps. Try to get a bit more sleep. Try to take a few more breaks and maybe use some of those meditation apps. Some more exercise, eating better, and losing a few pounds from that vacation wouldn’t hurt.
Can’t hurt!
Filed under CoronaVirus, Health, Paul, Photography
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 