Category Archives: Los Angeles

November 20, 2018 · 23:59

Monday Night Football

If you don’t follow sports, or if you’re not in the US and just don’t follow US pro football, you may or may not know that last night’s Monday Night Football game was an instant classic, being labeled by many as one of the greatest regular season games in history. But you might not care, so feel free to ignore today’s rant!

“I’m out of the office at 2:30, go to NoHo, Red Line to 7th Street/Metro Center, Metro Line to USC – should be there about 4:30” – 11/18/2018 text message to The Younger Daughter

“No battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy” – Helmuth von Moltke, 19th century head of the Prussian army

It was much closer to 3:00 before I left the office. The freeway onramp at DeSoto was blocked by an accident. I tried to get to the Winnetka onramp, only to find a few thousand other folks had the same idea. It took twenty minutes or so to work my way through the side streets down to the Reseda onramp. Free sailing until I got to the Universal Studios Metro station, only to find ALL the parking spots full with dozens of Rams and Chiefs fans circling the lot in gridlock. I bailed and drove ten minutes out to the NoHo Metro station (which has a much larger lot), only to find ALL the parking spots full with dozens and dozens of Rams and Chiefs fans circling the lot in gridlock. I went to the NoHo Metro station overflow lot, only to find ALL the parking spots full with…

I started cruising the streets of North Hollywood, looking for street parking. All of it was metered, most for one or two hours max. (How much is a parking ticket compared to what I paid for the tickets that I was going to miss using? Would they just give me a ticket or tow me?)

I finally found a spot about eight blocks from the Metro station with a four-hour limit. So-so neighborhood judging by the graffiti and piles of dog poop, but any port in a storm, eh?

Got to the Red Line and on a train to Metro Center with no problems. A couple of Chiefs fans on the train, but LOTS of Rams fans. Let the friendly banter begin.

The Expo line train from Metro Center to USC was packed. Then they let us out to start the cattle herd to the Coliseum.

Fighting through those crowds, only to get to a twenty-minute-plus wait to get screened through security at the gate.

Finally at my seat with The Younger Daughter and The Fiance! “Should be there about 4:30,” he said in ignorance. The time stamp on the photo is 5:36.

But we were there!

There’s a lot of construction going on at the LA Coliseum. And it was absolutely packed.

We were in the end zone, about halfway up, so our seats didn’t suck, but weren’t fantastic either.

At half time, the ESPN guys were doing their report from right down in front of us. You can also get a good feel for how many Chiefs fans (dressed in red) there were compared to the Rams fans. Unlike the games we’ve seen at the Chargers’ stadium (where it’s literally more Chiefs fans than Chargers fans) here the Chiefs fans were in the distinct minority.

Also at halftime we got a three-song “concert” from The Chain Smokers – who I have never, ever heard of. But the fireworks were nice.

As I said at the top, the game was an instant classic, being labeled by many as one of the greatest regular season games in history. It was something like the third highest scoring regular season game in history, and by far the highest scoring Monday Night Football game. The crowd was on its feet and just electric all night.

In the end, my beloved Chiefs fell to defeat, 54-51, in large part due to far, far too many penalties and three touchdowns for the Rams off of Chiefs’ fumbles and interceptions. We made more mistakes than they did. But we never, ever gave up. Even with all of those mistakes, we were driving with less than a minute less and could have easily tied it and sent it to overtime or won it outright in regulation.

It was utterly fantastic, and we were there.

It was a freakin’ adventure.

And if you think those crowds in the stadium and on the Metro trains were bad coming in (when the crowd arrived spaced out over four hours or so), you can’t even imagine how bad they were when 100,000 people all leave the game at the same time at the end. It took almost three hours to get home.

Worth. Every. Bit. Of. Effort!!

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Filed under KC Chiefs, Los Angeles, Photography, Sports

October 19, 2018 · 23:49

Luck

As some in the US might have noticed, there are a couple of lottery drawings that have built up large jackpots, if by “large” you mean “GARGANTUAN.” And that’s “gargantuan” as in “A BILLION FREAKING DOLLARS!!!!!!!” gargantuan. (I know, it’s advertised as a billion dollars but that’s if you take the money over several decades and if you take the cash it’s only $565,600,000 and then after Uncle Sam takes his share it’s barely $340,000,00 but what are you going to do? “Marketing” – am I right?)

Anyway, at lunch I walked down the block from the office to buy a Quick Pick ticket because it’s really hard to win without having a ticket (or so I’ve heard). On the way back, I damn near got run over crossing Ventura Boulevard when an SUV ran the red light.

A Bentley SUV.

“What the ACTUAL fuck???!!!!!” as the kids say.

Bentley makes an SUV???!!!!

Yes, indeedy, they do, as in this monstrosity. 600 HP, 664 lb-ft of torque, and it starts in the range of $250,000. One would think that a car costing a quarter million dollars wouldn’t have many accessories – one would be dead wrong. Read the bit in the article about the $160,000 Breitling clock that’s an option. It almost makes the $32,000 picnic basket seem reasonable.

So I didn’t win the lottery tonight – too soon to tell if anyone else did, but I figure I used all of my luck just getting out of the way of a luxury armored personnel carrier with quilted leather interior.

But at that MSRP it would no doubt have been an honor to have been smeared across two blocks of Ventura Boulevard if I hadn’t declined the opportunity. I mean, anyone can get picked off by a BMW or Mercedes in this town, they’re thick as flies. But it would be news if you got pegged by a Bentayga!

As long as they spell my name correctly, any publicity is good publicity?

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Filed under Los Angeles

October 1, 2018 · 21:44

Sunset From Anthony’s Deck

Meet your neighbors. Make friends.

The urban legend says that no one in LA knows ANY of their neighbors. This has a grain of truth to it – there were people who lived across the street from us for 27 years at the old house and I don’t know that I ever said two words to them and I most certainly didn’t know their names. On the other hand, the other five or six closest houses to us on the street as well as the folks who lived on the other side of the wall in the back were all at least casual acquaintances. We knew their names, we knew their dogs, if they were going out of town for the weekend we would keep an eye on their place and bring their trash cans up from the curb, and they would do the same for us.

Since we moved in May I’ve met several of our neighbors and I go out of my way to say hello, introduce myself, find out who they are, invite them over if they see the telescopes out in the front yard, and so on.

Tonight that paid off.

There are the remnants of a “small” hurricane to the south of us, streaming lots of moisture across Baja and into Arizona at the moment. That stream of rain and thunderstorms is shifting over us, so I figured there might be a decent sunset to look at. Fortunately, it came just as halftime started (where my beloved KC Chiefs were beating the Broncos to go 4-0) so I grabbed my camera and went out.

As I’ve mentioned, we’re at the top of the hill, on the side of the street where our back yard drops off to the east. To our west, there are a bunch of trees and lots of power lines.

Things were starting to look colorful – but trees, neighbors’ houses, etc. I wandered down the hill a couple of houses.

Back to the west, with all of these layers of clouds and the sun setting through the layers to the west, there were some interesting spots of color floating in a sky full of darker clouds.

As the sun started to get to the horizon and peek out from under the last layer of clouds…

…the colors started to get vivid near the horizon. But still, trees, antennas, neighbors’ houses. Better, not spectacular.

The pinkish mid-layers got even more pronounced.

One of the neighboring wives came out to leave and saw me, asked what I was taking pictures of. I told her – she called for her husband to come out. I had previously met Anthony and he told me I should come with him. They live on the other side of the street with the hill dropping away and giving a clear view to the west, and they’ve got a deck so that it’s a particularly spectacular view.

Down below in the gloaming are the West Hills Baseball fields where we spent so many hours with all of our kids. The central hill there we always called Castle Peak, primarily because it’s surrounded by Castle Peak Park.

Meet your neighbors. Make friends. One of them, like Anthony, might like sunsets just as much as you do, and they might have a great view of the western horizon.

 

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Filed under Castle Willett, Los Angeles, Photography, Weather

August 28, 2018 · 22:34

LA Metro – Hollywood & Vine

On Sunday when we went to the Pantages to see “Waitress” we started out at the Universal City station. Directly across the street from the Pantages is the Hollywood & Vine station. Naturally, it has a distinctly Hollywood theme to its decor.

 

 

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Filed under Art, Los Angeles, Photography

August 27, 2018 · 23:40

LA Metro – Universal City

Yes, Los Angeles does have a mass transit system, including subways!

When travelling to downtown or Hollywood it’s actually quite easy to get to one of the stations on the subway, particularly on the weekend or in the evening. We don’t have a subway line terribly close to us (although there’s a dedicated bus line only a couple miles away that goes to the station at the end of the subway line) but it boils down to parking for $3 at the subway station that we’re driving past and $2.75 to get to Hollywood, or driving to Hollywood and paying $25 (or more) to park and having to deal with a ton of nasty traffic.

The LA Metro system, when you’re in that envelope where it’s going where you’re going, can be quite useful.

And a lot of it is gorgeous as well. The stations are all relatively new (the entire system only started twenty-five years ago) and there’s a lot of interesting designs and artwork involved.

When we went to the Pantages to see “Waitress” yesterday, we started out at the Universal City station.

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Filed under Art, Los Angeles, Photography

August 26, 2018 · 22:05

Pantages

Tonight we returned to the room where it happened – to see a different play.

The Pantages Theater in Los Angeles was, as always, spectacular.

It’s a 1920’s design so the bathrooms sort of suck, but you learn to live with that.

Can you say, “Ro – co – co?”

Sure. I knew you could.

The play, “Waitress,” had a cast with great voices, some great staging and choreography, and one part in particular that was way, Way, WAYYY over the top and hilarious.

Hollywood Boulevard on a Sunday afternoon with all of the tourists and buskers and hustlers and people in costume – it’s our little version of Times Square. Complete with that certain smell (stale urine) which out here is cut with that other (now legal) certain smell (pot).

I love LA!

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Filed under Entertainment, Los Angeles, Music, Photography

April 25, 2018 · 22:20

Now It’s A Party!

The first four police cars that roared by with full lights & siren blaring were a hint.

The two fire trucks doing the same indicated that the game was afoot.

The ambulance meant that it was serious.

But when the LAPD helicopter starts orbiting at 500 feet, NOW IT’S A PARTY!!

(Never did figure out exactly what was going on, but it was about two blocks away. The chopper was gone in about five minutes.)

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Filed under Los Angeles, Photography

March 20, 2018 · 23:26

Seeing Is Believing

Saturday morning. Heading toward the hangar. Getting onto the freeway. There are two lanes, both of which have a stop sign at the bottom of  a short downhill ramp to allow for cross traffic into and out of a residential neighborhood.

I’m driving the 18-year old “mom-mobile mini van” with 193,000 miles on it. But it’s been pretty well taken care of, has the big six-cylinder engine, and can get up and go when I really need it to.

Heading onto the ramp I see there are six or seven cars all lined up in the left lane with zero cars in the right lane. I have no idea why, but that’s the way they’ve decided to line up.

I see that the last car in line in the left lane is a Tesla. The S-model. The “mom-mobile mini van” for Mrs. Jetson. The acceleration and speed available should be reserved for drag racers, not mini vans. I love the look, I love the style, I would love to own one. But I’ve never actually SEEN one really floor it and let fly, just heard of it.

I can see that there’s no cross traffic coming.

My mission is clear.

I’m watching the Tesla and the car in front of it, first of all, to make sure that neither of them is going to think, “Why am I sitting in this lane as car #5 or #6 when the other lane’s open?” This thought could be immediately followed by a quick flick to the right, directly into my lane, probably just about the same time that I’m trying to occupy those spacetime coordinates.

More to the point, my brain is telling me that the timing is juuuuuuust right. If they all stay in their lane and take turns at the stop sign and if there’s still no cross traffic to wait for, the Tesla should be pulling up to the line and stopping in the left lane right about the exact same instant that I’m pulling into the right lane beside him and doing the exact same thing.

I’m thinking, “He’s driving lazy, otherwise he would have pulled into the empty lane.” I’m thinking, “He’s probably on his phone or distracted by the radio or something.”

I’m thinking, “I’m going to smoke his ass and show him what a REAL ‘mom-mobile mini van’ can do!!”

And the timing worked perfectly!

I’ll never know what it was that tipped him off to my intentions. Maybe I was visibly trembling with excitement and he subliminally caught sight of it out of his side mirror. Or maybe he just chose that point to pay attention to his driving and see that it was his turn at the stop sign.

Whatever the cause, at the precise same moment that he did his “touch and go” at the white line next to the stop sign, I did mine about eighteen inches to his right. I stomped on the gas to show him…

…and he was freakin’ GOOOOOONE and probably pushing 80 mph before I had a chance for my jaw to drop.

Seeing is believing.

Damn!

I want me one of them!

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Filed under Los Angeles

March 14, 2018 · 22:35

Trader Joe’s Epic Fail

I failed as one of the office geeks today when I didn’t remember to bring a pie in to share with my office mates. (You may criticize me at will, you can’t say anything more horrible than I haven’t thought myself today.)

But wait, there’s a Trader Joe’s literally next door to our office building. I can solve this.

Except… there are no pies. I scour the whole store and I’m completely striking out.

Okay, I’m stupid enough to forget about Pi-day to begin with, I’m probably stupid enough to be standing next to the table full of pies and not recognize them. I’ll ask the manager at the customer service desk!

The manager was surly. “We don’t have pies.” Wait, I don’t think you heard me correctly. This is a huge grocery store. I’m looking for “pie,” you know, like apple or cherry or peach or pumpkin. Here, let me hold my hands in a circle-like shape and demonstrate…

“We don’t have any pies! It’s not pie season!”

“Pie season?” Did she just say “it’s not pie season?” WTF is “pie season?” I’ve heard of “deer season,” “duck season,” “rabbit season,” “duck season,” “rabbit season,” “rabbit season,” “DUCK SEASON, SHOOT!!!”, but I’ve never heard of “pie season.”

In retrospect, I might have been about the 50th person (including at least one other person from my office) who had been there asking the exact same question. I don’t know if her surliness was because she didn’t like being bothered or if she had suddenly realized how many hundreds of dollars in sales she had lost through this marketing faux pas. It didn’t matter. There was no pie at Trader Joe’s.

Seriously. “Pie.” “Season.”

Gobsmacked.

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Filed under Freakin' Idiots!, Los Angeles

March 4, 2018 · 23:23

Ping Pong Balls

Pop quiz time!

You’re in Los Angeles. Maybe you live here, maybe you’re visiting. It’s not relevant.

You need ping pong balls. Not 27,000 of them like for that Mythbusters episode, but maybe a six-pack.

You need them now. You don’t have time to go find a sporting goods store that’s open, or order them from Amazon, even if they do get delivered in an hour by an Amazon drone. (OK, scratch that, if you can get a six-pack of ping-pong balls delivered in an hour by a flying drone, then screw the pop quiz and go do it!)

You go into one of the large, upscale Los Angeles chain grocery stores. Not Bristol Farms or Gelsons upscale, but better than your average neighborhood Ralph’s or Vons. (Okay, it was a Pavilions.)

Where do you go in the store to find the ping pong balls?

Think about it.

Toys? You have a “toys” aisle, or even a toys section in your grocery store? BZZZZ! Wrong answer, and by the way, you’re in a Bristol Farms or a Gelsons. Or maybe you’re really lost and you’ve stumbled into a Rite-Aid with a milk & bread & candy & canned soup & pet food aisle and you think it’s a grocery store.

Ok, then that tiny section where they have like cheap pliers and screwdrivers and miscellaneous bolts and screws for a hundred times what you would pay at a hardware store? Wrong.

I guarantee that they’ve got them. Where, oh where, would they put them?

Think.

Think.

Think.

Explore.

Explore.

Explore.

It’s like a really weird version of Supermarket Sweepstakes.

And the answer is…

Of course! In the frozen food aisle! Over with the frozen chicken patties, TV dinners, frozen, gluten free Jimmy Dean Delights Breakfast Bowls!

Welcome to Los Angeles! Now go get your head tattooed to look like stubble!

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Filed under Los Angeles, Photography