Category Archives: Critters

February 7, 2015 · 19:48

Juicy Chunks O’ Wisdom For Saturday, February 7th

‘Cause I ran a 5K today without benefit of any training, that’s why.

  • My 5K time was 44:03 officially. How “good” that might be is a matter of perspective. If I were in the kind of shape I would prefer to be in, that would completely suck. Under 30 minutes would be a good time. On the other hand, given the absolute zero training time, 44:03 and still breathing and not needing an ambulance is pretty good.
  • Every cell phone company is running ads where they show you a US map with their SuperDuper 5G+ coverage in a bright color, their 4G coverage areas in a slightly less vibrant shade, their 3G coverage area in a pale shade, and some grey areas out in Nevada, Montana, Wyoming, and about 99% of North Dakota. There’s some fine print there that I can never read, but I’m betting that part of it says something like, “Grey areas represent areas where you are up the creek without a paddle. Have a nice day.”
  • Where everyone else was in a 5K “race”, we were in a 5K “run.” (I ran with my LA Marathon training partner from 2012, who happened to live a couple blocks away and be neighbors with one of the organizers.) Early on, when everyone else was taking off into the distance and I was trying to get at least one lung to work, my goal for the day became obvious. There was a young woman who was running while pushing a stroller with twins and a seven or eight-year-old in tow. The only “racing” I wanted to do was beat her.
  • Sunday morning, grocery shopping, about 10:30. I’m passed by a frazzled looking guy who’s wearing a sweatshirt, red checkered pajama bottoms, and slippers. He’s carrying a jar of peanut butter, a bottle of vodka, a quart of orange juice, and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. No one bats an eye — this is Los Angeles after all. The only question I had was, “Chunky or smooth peanut butter?”
  • The mom with the twins in the jogging stroller? We totally kicked her ass, finished at least two minutes ahead of her! WIN!! (At this point, I’ll take them where I can get them.)
  • The Long-Suffering Wife notes that I missed a couple of things in my analysis of how we’re looking for a good place to retire in a few years. I guess I thought they were obvious “givens,” but we will need someplace with good, high-speed internet. She would also like to find a place which has a good deli, but would settle for a place that has decent bagels.
  • Old note found — “Having a cat asleep on your lap when the Raccoons Of An Unusual Size start romping around on the roof can be…unpleasant.” Yes, yes it could.
  • Someone else noted that the title “Where’s A Good Place To Retire To?” should be “Where’s A Good Place To Which To Retire?” Never finish a sentence with a preposition. Fine. Granted. By the way, have you heard the joke about the cowboy and the snooty, uppity Brit?
  • Overall for my age group (male, 55-59) I finished eleventh. And no, it wasn’t out of eleven! (You know that you were thinking it, weren’t you.) It was out of thirteen. Since I was expecting to finish fifteenth out of thirteen, again, WIN!!
  • On the 101 Freeway headed toward Ventura, where they often have a 5th lane on the far right that begins where an onramp dumps traffic onto the freeway and ends at the next exit where it is a mandatory exit lane. Traffic is reasonably heavy. A handful of cars are getting on the freeway, and the first three or four are having a difficult time getting into the through-traffic lanes. As the “exit only” ramp approaches, I see that the final car isn’t hanging back to find an open spot. It’s a classic, cherry red, convertible Mustang, probably a ’65 or ’66, top down, and the driver is making an extremely aggressive move to gun it and squeeze into an open spot several cars ahead, barely making it before the lane exits. I’m figuring that it’s some kid who’s got more testosterone than brains. Then I pull up next to it a couple miles later and see that it’s a woman, probably in her late 60’s or early 70’s, boufant hairdo like something straight out of an “Animal House” sorority, wrapped up in a thin, transparent scarf like my mom always wore. She’s grinning like she just stole the car. YOU GO, GIRL!!

Remember, “I may be old, overweight, and slow — but I’m ahead of you” (Gotta get me one of those running shirts!)

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Filed under Cats, Critters, Juicy Chunks, Paul, Running, Sports, Writing

January 23, 2015 · 22:56

Belfast, Maine

It was just a stop for lunch, a bit of warm chowder on a cool and rainy summer day. It was The Long-Suffering Wife’s first trip up the Maine coast. Belfast is pretty much like a hundred other small harbor towns from Nova Scotia to New York City. Boats, birds, harbor seals, houses on forest-covered hillsides jutting up above a rocky coast.

I remember it was really good chowder.

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Filed under Critters, Photography, Travel

January 20, 2015 · 21:25

Hooray For Cat Hallucinations!

I’ve noted before (I used it as a starting plot point for the 2013 NaNoWriMo) that it’s freaky as all get out when a cat that’s resting comfortably and calmly on your lap suddenly bolts upright, ears twitching, eyes wide open, staring at something behind you that only it can see. It doesn’t help any when they spend the next five minutes with their eyes locked on whatever unseen horror it might be, their head swiveling as they follow their hallucination around the room, as if there’s some poltergeist or invisible zombie creeping up behind you.

When they start making that little chirping noise and twitching their butt like they’re getting ready to leap, and the idiot freakin’ raccoons on the roof choose that particular moment to run the 100-yard dash across the roof right above your head, it’s an invitation to a coronary.

On the other hand…

When you’ve spent the day dealing with people and situations that you swear are there just to see where your frustration breaking point is, then your nominal evening entertainment is all pre-empted by the State Of The Union address, and your substitute entertainment (social media) is saturated with bullshit from both sides on the aforementioned SOTU, and you’re just about to punch something just because, it can be a relief to have the sleeping cat freak out.

“Ignorance is bliss.” I’ve often thought it was nonsense to think that way. I always wanted to know and know more and to understand.

But in the case of both the political/social polarity/intolerance in our society and the invisible phantom haunting the room, I’m starting to place a higher value on ignorance.

In both cases, I don’t think there’s much I can do to change the situation, and being aware of it is just raising my blood pressure and making me feel bad. So while I’ve always hated being ignorant or uninformed, I think the argument could be made that I might be better off being blissfully ignorant.

Even if it does mean that I’m slightly less prepared to catch Ken Jenning’s record when I finally get on “Jeopardy!”

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Filed under Cats, Critters, Death Of Common Sense, Freakin' Idiots!, Politics, Religion

January 9, 2015 · 22:00

If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

…then show a picture of something you just don’t see every day.

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That should qualify.

This weekend I will not be in Atlanta for GaFilk, nor will I be in Florida tonight for the latest SpaceX Falcon 9 launch attempt and attendant NASA Social, nor will I be in Florida on Sunday for the Disney World Marathon (all good intentions and braggadocio to the contrary), nor was I at this past week’s NASA/Smithsonian Social in Washington, nor will I be at the NASA/Smithsonian Social in late January, nor will I be at the NASA “1-Year Mission” Social in Houston later this month, nor will I be at the NASA Social at Vandenberg AFB at the end of the month. (For the record, it’s not that I’m applying and not getting accepted, it that I’m not able to actually travel to these events, so I’m not applying to begin with.) Nor will I be flying (i.e., in the left seat at the pointy end of the plane), nor will I be doing an awful lot of other things.

On the one hand, one of my heroes, Coach John Wooden, said:

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

Smart man. Successful man. I actually got to meet him for about two seconds once.

On the other hand, there was a T-shirt/poster in the 60’s that showed two buzzards sitting on a wire, and the one buzzard says:

“To hell with patience, I’m going to go out and kill something!”

Which point of view is correct? Either? Neither? Or a bit of both but a lot of everything else as well?

Times like this I sometimes wished that I drank.

 

Y’all doing anything fun, interesting, or exciting for the weekend? Tell me about it in the comments.

 

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Filed under Critters, Photography

January 5, 2015 · 23:34

Up To My WHAT In Alligators?

Oh, yeah, 23:30 and I’m still having one of those up to my ass in alligators day, or maybe I’m slaying dragon that are looking more Hydra-like by the minute. Pick your mythos.

Anyway, they’re bigger than this guy. This is “Fred” who lives in the succulent near our back porch. I think he’s got a gimpy back leg, but mostly he’s just looking for a little sun.

Him I’m not slaying. Fred’s cool.

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Filed under Critters, Photography

December 19, 2014 · 23:24

Thoughts On Birds, Winter, & A Tree

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The birds must “know” that winter is nearly here. The days get short, the nights long, the sun is far to the south. Is there any comprehension at any level, or just instinct, the result of hundreds of millions of years of Darwinian selection?

The tree isn’t simply barren because of the season – this birch tree got some sort of disease and died about two years ago. Our gardener keeps asking when he should cut it down, but I keep putting it off. I sort of like the way it stands in the front yard, skeletal, white, the fractal branch patterns providing constant perches for the sparrows, mockingbirds, mourning doves, hummingbirds, and occasional crow or hawk.

Plus, for years we have put white Christmas lights and stars into the birch tree, its branches and the lights combining for a most pleasing sight. Where would I put the white lights and stars if I let them cut it down?

Then there’s winter, particularly winter in Southern California. I tease The Long-Suffering Wife about how she talks about retiring to Vermont when she’s only been there in spring, summer, and fall – she’s never seen a Vermont winter for even a weekend. But I realize that it’s been forty years since I have as well, and my middle aged body might have acclimated to the low-50’s being “freezing” and the 70’s in December being normal.

So while my brain stem periodically sends up longing feelings for the cycle of the seasons that seems so lost in life here, the more evolved parts of my brain keep saying, “Hold on, just a minute there…” Still, I would like to see four actual seasons again.

I wonder if the birds know how easy they’ve got it compared to their New England cousins. I wonder if either the SoCal sparrows or the New England sparrow give a damn either way.

I wonder if the birds appreciate the dead birch tree being left up for them.

Sometimes I just wonder why I wonder.

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Filed under Christmas Lights, Critters

December 16, 2014 · 21:54

Joey Chan Update, December 2014

Because sometimes you just need pictures of cats rather than seeing the news, reading the comments, or having anything to do with about 99.9% of what’s on television – and there’s just not a good book at hand and you’re too tired to get up and get one:

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Joey does not acknowledge the existence of NASA or the Orion flight test (on the television in the background), nor does she approve of you taking her chair (by which I mean, my chair) at 04:00 AM.

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All cats look funny when they yawn, makes you want to stick something in there just to freak them out. (Do not use anything you do not want mangled, like your finger!)

Honest question, how many of you had a yawn triggered by this picture?

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When you can’t find her anywhere in her normal sleeping or hiding spots, remember to look up for “DEATH FROM ABOVE!!”

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Filed under Castle Willett, Cats, Critters

December 10, 2014 · 21:54

The Kids Are Back

At first I thought that Santa was here early and using elephants instead of reindeer this year. There was quite the racket up on the roof, particularly over my desk. But no, a trip out into the dark with my trusty big flashlight found a familiar crowd — the raccoons are back. (And why does spell check ALWAYS say “raccoons” is incorrect? It’s not, it’s an either/or with “raccoon” as the plural of “raccoon.”)

It looks like the whole family is there, at least four of them. They’re very camera shy – I’ve been out there twice and as soon as you put a flashlight on them, they start taking off. At least except for one, a significantly larger one, which I presume to be the raccoon version of the alpha male. He came right up to the edge of the roof and did his best to look ominous. It worked, I thought he was going to jump down on me and go for my throat. (He didn’t.)

This is him – he finally took off over the roof line onto the front of the house. (And it sounds like all of them are back at it already above me. So much for my intimidation skills.)

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I guess as long as they can’t get into the attic or garage, they’re just a nuisance. A cute nuisance. A cute potentially rabid nuisance that might leap off the roof and eat your face.

Or not.

As a side note — the Canon xTi doesn’t focus for beans in the dark (I’m not sure any other DSLR does either) and trying to hold the flashlight steady on the critter with one hand while holding the camera with the other hand while trying to manually focus with the other other hand is problematic.

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Filed under Critters

November 26, 2014 · 21:59

Jessie’s Shadow

Jessie’s showing signs of her age (she’s coming up on fourteen) and doesn’t move as steadily or as fast as she used to. Despite her recent apparent hunting prowess, it’s come to this now:

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Zoom in, look at that tree in the upper left of the picture. On the left-hand side of that tree there are two limb stumps sticking out. Do you see what’s sitting on the top branch?

Yep, there were two of them, running along that back wall, chattering. Jessie only looked up once or twice but never moved to chase them or even bark. After she started nodding off again, the bold one came down to take a closer look.

Wait, I just figured it out! Jessie’s not old and tired, she’s incredibly clever! She’s faking them out, waiting for them to fall into her trap and come down onto the ground and get close. Then she’ll leap up and in a blur of frenzied canine fury she’ll rend them limb from limb!

Brilliant, lil’ Jess, simply brilliant!

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Filed under Critters, Dogs, Photography

November 14, 2014 · 23:02

Two Hawks

Jessie needed to go out this morning and while waiting for her in the front yard I could hear the screech of a hawk, very clearly. Then I heard another from a different direction. And crows, I could hear a lot of crows.

In a flash, the two hawks and the murder of crows appeared from in back of the house, engaged in a mid-air dogfight. The crows broke it off, the hawks started looking for a thermal, and I grabbed my fancy new phone to see how well it takes video.

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Filed under Critters, Flying, Photography