Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

Joy Should Be More Than Simply The Absence Of Misery

Hardly PhD level  insight.

However, this evening I had the “joy” of fixing a toilet and while doing so I pondered the meaning of “joy.”

There is NO joy in repairing a toilet.

I’m sure there are some among us who would invoke “a sense of pride in a job well done” or some such bullshit. Perhaps. But that is not “joy.”

No, the closest I can come to feeling good at all about twenty minutes spent on repairing a toilet is that we can be truly miserable if the toilet remains broken.

So, in repairing the toilet, we avoid those hours, days, and (the way my schedule looks right now) the potential for weeks of dealing with the inconvenience and mess and misery of a broken toilet.

But – joy should be more than simply the absence of misery.

We need working toilets in our lives. And tonight, at least in Casa Willett, we have them.

We also need some joy in our lives. The more, the better! That, unfortunately, might be a bit more rare and elusive.

I hope you’re being more successful in that pursuit.

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The Rabbit Hole

Being really tired at the end of a long, exhausting week can leave one…vulnerable.

The rabbit hole of the internet and Google searches and Wikipedia and IMDB and all of it can be strong on someone in a vulnerable position.

Which can lead to learning…things.

Start with an innocent Hallmark movie with Danica McKellar, who is cute and smart and has a most interesting and diverse background outside of acting, so I sort of adore her.

Which led to the Oracle of Bacon to see her Bacon Number.

Which led to learning that she also has an Erdös-Bacon number, so of course I had to go see what an Erdös number was.

Which led to me realizing just how freaking rare it is to have an Erdös-Bacon number!

Which led me to find out that she has an Erdös-Bacon-Sabbath number (ESB) of 10.

Which led me even further down the rabbit hole to find out what an ESB is.

Really? REALLY??!!

Albert Einstein has an ESB of only 8, while Danica McKellar has a 10?

So what’s Brian May‘s ESB? A man I consider to be a god walking among us!

Finally, a question that appears to have no simple answer in a Google search or two.

But it’s obvious that his “S” number is 1, since it’s easy to find references to a recent collaboration with Black Sabbath.

And Oracle of Bacon says his “B” number is 3. (Via Joe Walsh and John Candy, “The Strat Pack,” “The Blues Brothers,” and “Planes, Trains, Automobiles,” obviously!)

So can we track down an “E” number for Brian May? Apparently it’s a 7.

So Brian May, lead guitarist for Queen, astrophysicist, demigod, has an ESB of 11.

While Danica McKellar has an ESB of 10. I wonder if she knows?

And if Danica’s ESB is 10 but her Erdös-Bacon number is 6 (E=4, B=2), then what is the “S” that’s a 4?

Apparently even THAT isn’t a questions that can stump Google tonight.

 

 

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No Context For You – August 01st

I leave myself reminders – then the weight of the world drags my head down to where I can’t even look up to see them.

The chains holding me down are no less strong or real for being non-physical. I have to remember that I can fly, both physically and emotionally, but it’s difficult when there seem to be so many things holding me down, pressing me into the earth and rooting me there like an maple tree.

But the maple releases its seeds as little whirligigs, spinning away on the breezes. Tomorrow I’ll try to remember that.

More whirli needed, perhaps less gig.

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Halfway Through 2019

Give or take a few hours, we’re halfway through 2019. How are we doing?

2018 was a tough one in many respects, but there were some bright spots. While that whole “moving” experience kicked my ass, there was travel and some fun, especially to finish the year with the trip to Seattle and Kansas City.

2019 so far as been…

Disappointing.

Stressful.

Frustrating.

Worse.

And that’s before you bother to turn on the news. *shudder*

Here’s to hoping that the second half of 2019 raises the average and finishes strong.

Here’s to hoping that we find untapped reserves of strength, hope, faith, and patience.

Here’s to busting our ass to keep going and making it better even when we’re too damn tired.

Here’s to sticking to it and not bailing too early, to having the courage to pull the ripcord and ride the hurricane when it’s time – and to having the wisdom (or the luck) to know when that time arrives.

Here’s to finding some good tunes, a fine book, and a quiet spot when all you’ve got left is to hold on and not do anything stupid to make it worse.

And here’s to being here for one another when we stumble and fall, to help each other back up, to hold each other when we need to cry, and to celebrate with each other when we triumph.

I’ll be here.

 

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Clouds Don’t Care

It doesn’t matter how stupid, hateful, ignorant, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or clueless we get as individuals, or as a species.

Clouds don’t care.

Nor does it matter how intelligent, loving, resourceful, inclusive, or insightful we get as individuals, or as a species.

Clouds don’t care.

I wish I could be a cloud.

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Stunning Revelations

No, not the ones in Game of Thrones. (I know, Aria getting what she wants, if you know what I mean, right?)

I’ve occasionally bemoaned missing a day’s post – let’s take it as a given that I’m ever so slightly psychotic and anal and go from there, shall we? And I’m trying to to bitch about it, it only happens once a year or so on average, so quit being slightly psychotic and anal, all right? An excellent plan!

I knew that I had missed posting on the 24th, but I let it slide. No elevated blood pressure. No angst.

I – am – a – calm – pool…

Then something caught my eye today. I apparently missed posting on the 12th and the 18th as well, and I was 100% blissfully ignorant of it?!

I  –  AM  –  A  –  FREAKIN’  –  CALM  –  POOL  –  DAMN  –  IT!!

At this point it’s not really that I missed posting three times in a two-week period (gee, phrasing it that way doesn’t help, does it?), it’s that I missed the first warning sign, and the second. Which immediately begs the point…

How many other warning signs am I missing?

Breathe. In. Out. Use that Apple Watch thingie to focus on my breathing and while I’m at it, please stop cussing out the Apple Watch thingie. Besides, I doubt it’s physically possible for it to do that since it doesn’t have that orifice. Just sayin’…

Be calm. Listen to some music. What do I like? What’s my go-to music for being calm. What do I listen to about twice a week just to make me happy and calm me down?

“Hamilton.”

Wait, it’s been how many weeks since I listened to “Hamilton”?

I  –  AM  –  A  –  FREAKIN’  –  CALM  –  POOL  –  DAMN  –  IT!! (“Calm pool” bursts into flames…)

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Cursed With Self-Awareness

“The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.” – Annie Savoy, “Bull Durham”

There are so, so, SO many excellent quotes from this movie, quotes for every occasion. In trying to put my finger on my current mood (and sort out the mood from the exhaustion) being in the midst of this week/month/year, this one came to mind.

I have a great deal of admiration for those who can be at the center of the whirlwind, a hundred bazillion crises flying around them like bullets in the biggest firefight in history, and they remain focused, calm (or at least, not panicked, which may be the same thing), and functional.

I have very little admiration but a fair amount of envy (which is a sin, and not one I’m proud of in this moment) for those in the center of the whirlwind who remain “calm” because they have no freaking idea what’s going on.

There was an old cartoon (Loony Tunes? I can’t find it now) where a bulldog is babysitting a toddler. The crawling toddler goes from one dangerous, life-threatening, ludicrous situation after another while the dog desperately tries to keep up and keep the baby safe, all the while being pummeled and smashed himself. Through traffic. Onto girders being hoisted up onto a skyscraper construction site. And so on.

That’s what I’m talking about. Maybe those people are lucky, maybe they’re truly clueless, maybe they’re “blessed.” Whatever. They wander through the whirlwind and come out the other side without a scratch or a hair out of place and probably an extra $20 bill stuffed into a loose pocket for good measure. Meanwhile, I’m fighting to get through and find shelter, dodging every bit of SPFX debris from “Twister” – yes, including the cow.

It is who I am.

It still sucks some times.

How’s your week going?

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