Category Archives: Deep Thoughts

Stupid Brain

Hi, there!

This is the stupid brain speaking, the one which is now being allowed to freely associate since I only have four minutes left before midnight and I’m the one that couldn’t get out of my own way all freaking night like a car stuck in first gear and then all of a sudden hit the LUDICROUS SPEED button at about 22:30 and a logjam that’s been bugging the crap out of me for weeks all of a sudden revealed the solution and it turned into a giant game of matching figures and sorting this huge Excel file over and over as I eliminated matching entries like a high-tech version of that kid’s game where you match pictures (wasn’t there a TV game show version of that, probably with Gene Rayburn hosting?) and once I got into it I reminded myself about every five minutes, “Don’t forget, you’ve still got to post something tonight!” but I had no idea what to post and all of a sudden it’s 23:55 and “HOLY SHIT!” so here I am.

I’m glad that the logjam got broken.

It sucks that I have a stupid brain.

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Is Good Enough Good Enough?

That’s often the question of the day.

Most days it seems there’s a list of “gotta do’s” that’s longer than my arm, plus a list of “wanna do’s” that’s even longer. Not enough hours in the day, not enough days in the year, not enough years before it’s dirt nap time.

Is there wisdom or resignation in realizing that the abbreviated laws of thermodynamics apply to life as well? You can’t win, you can’t break even, and you can’t get out of the game. So at what point is “good enough” good enough?

Today I got a lot done, and tonight I spent hours getting more done. There were moments when the “wanna do’s but probably am NEVER going to get to” feelings were almost overwhelming – but I pushed through to the other side. I kept moving and got stuff done. It’s that whole “marathon way of thinking” thing.

And here on the other side I have some great tunes. The Long-Suffering Wife is doing well in her recovery from surgery. A couple of big, roadblock-grade problems got attacked finally and at least partially pushed aside, so there’s visible, significant progress.

Is that good enough?

I guess it’s going to have to be.

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It’s Important To Remember

…I’m doing this because it’s fun.

Wait, what?

I’m doing it because I’m neurotic and due to traumatic experiences in my life I’m almost pathologically unable to let go or quit?


Well, that explains the lack of fun.

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Like many of us, I like to think that in a crisis or time of stress I will remain relatively calm, level headed, and able to keep my wits about me. I can function even when there’s chaos.

However, as was demonstrated again today, while that might be true to a large extent, it’s also critical to not take it for granted. I can’t simply say, “Oh, yeah, this is stressful, but I’m good when the shit’s incoming to the fan, so let’s just carry on.” No, the lesson I believe is to recognize the stressful situation for what it is and realize that, while I might do better than average or have had some training for how to prioritize and stay more or less functional in the face of chaos, in such a situation it is critical to be extra careful and aware that I might be on thin ice.

We had an appointment at 10:45. All of a sudden it was moved up to 10:15. There’s a significant amount of stress associated with the whole thing. No worries. I’m cool. Cucumbers name their children after me.

Until I got to the appointment and realized that I didn’t have my phone. Or my glasses. I was out of touch and blind as a bat inside arm’s length distances.

No worries! I have my backup pair of glasses that I ALWAYS carry in my briefcase. Except that they weren’t there. They had gotten moved to my backpack for the Seattle & Kansas City trip and never put back.

A little more flustered, a little less confident, I went for the backup backup pair of glasses – they’re in the backpack too.

The pair that I keep in the van I’m normally driving? I’m sure they’re there, but we were driving Hissy today.

I can live without the phone, right? I had my iPad, after all. Except that the day’s events needed me to be available by phone all day.

So once we got the preliminary events out of the way and I had a break where I needed to just wait for an hour, I instead boogied home (fortunately we were only twenty minutes from our house) and solved the problem.

That part at least felt satisfying. But I’m well aware that it’s a problem that I caused with my own carelessness and stupidity.

Stress can’t be avoided.

Dealing and coping with stress can be learned.

But it doesn’t make you Superman.

If you’re smart, it teaches you to recognize the sound of the ice cracking under your feet and makes you be very, very careful.

Today I wasn’t smart. I was discombobulated.

But I recognized it before it was ultimately too late, and I corrected the problem.

Next time I need to avoid it to begin with.

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50,000th Tweet

Recently I had been wondering what milestone would be coming up next. Tonight we have an answer and it comes just we’re about to embark on another Nantucket sleigh ride. Which got me to thinking and writing out a big thing on Twitter.


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No Context For You – January 19th

The location stamp on the picture (aren’t pocket-sized supercomputers with GPS, phones, and cameras great inventions?!) says that I was having a really good time when this was taken.

I wish I were back there tonight, for many reasons. (I didn’t realize how true that was until I typed it – some part of my brain is smarter than I am, apparently.)

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No Context For You – January 06th

In case it hasn’t been obvious for the last three-plus years, the “No Context For You” posts often are the result of days where I’ve been running around for about fourteen hours straight without time to catch my breath, let alone sit down and let my brain generate something creative, at which point I suddenly notice that it’s well after 23:30.

You know, days like today. Well, that added to being anal and neurotic about trying to post something every day.

It’s a hell of a combination.

Be careful out there this week, campers! The first full work week after the holidays can be grim to begin with. With the extraordinary chaos in the US at the moment, plus the gathering storm clouds in many of our personal lives, we could be in for a bumpy ride.

Take care of each other – when the shit hits the fan (and it’s going to) we’re all we’ve got. There might not be any cavalry coming of the hill to rescue us.

We’re not alone, no matter how much it might appear that way to any of us at any given moment. Ask for help. Give help to others. We’ll get through this.

We have no idea how strong we can be until we have to be that strong. We might be having a lesson on that particular subject coming over the horizon.

Ready or not…

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