Category Archives: Paul

Courage

We’re going to need it.

I won’t even bother repeating what I think about the current head of the US government and those around him – go to my Twitter or Facebook feed if you’re curious. Be prepared for massive amounts of profanity.

This is going to be a bad week.

I just deleted a whole big, long rant about economic crises and health crises and you can read the news yourself.

We’re going to need to keep moving forward, keep fighting, and keep watching out for one another.

This is going to be a bad week.

 

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Taking A Wild Leap

It’s February 29th, which doesn’t happen that often, so I figured I might comment in my unique and inimitable style. But first, what did I have to say about this unusual date four years ago? Oddly, pretty much NOTHING AT ALL about the date, but a bunch of really nice pictures of Clay Lacy’s DC-3.

It’s no doubt an amazing aircraft, but… Leap Day? Nothing?

Okay, so let’s make up for that a bit. Acknowledging that it’s a day that only comes once every four years and even then not in years evenly divided by 100 unless it’s also a year evenly divisible by 400 (a good summary here), the random synapse firing that occurred to my somewhat sleep deprived brain was along the lines of, “That’s messy. I don’t like it. Why don’t we fix it?”

And by “fix it” of course, I’m not talking about coming up with some weird and unique calendar that somehow does away with that quarter of a day (“ish”) that’s extra. I’m talking about moving the planet’s orbit so that it’s a precisely even number of days long.

Go big or go home!

Since the Earth’s orbit takes it around the Sun in 365.25 days, the easiest way to get to an even integer would be to get rid of the 0.25 days. Moving the Earth closer to the Sun would make it orbit faster, so it would be easier to go to 365 days than to 366.

But…

If we go to a precise 365 day orbit, all of those folks born on February 29th would never, ever again have a birthday. Plus, of course, by moving the Earth closer to the Sun when we’re already destroying it with climate change would mean that we’ll fry and die that much sooner, so maybe that would be a second negative on that plan.

Plus, with a 365 day year, we still have that somewhat annoying “extra” day in there that means that if this year your birthday is on a Monday, next year it will be on a Tuesday, and the year after that a Wednesday, and so on. Still messy.

So let’s move the Earth even closer to the Sun and give it a 364-day orbit! This solves the calendar problem completely! Thirteen months of 28 days each! Uniformity! Standardization! Easy to remember!

Oh, right, it’s also boring. We would also fry and die a LOT faster, which most days I would consider to be bad thing, but frying and dying fast while being bored is so, so much worse.

Instead, I think we’ll have to move the Earth’s orbit out, away from the sun. This gives us a slightly longer year while simultaneously helping to cool the planet so that we can continue sans guilt to burn fossil fuels like they’re going out of style.

Moving out to a precise 366-day orbit doesn’t give us a fantastic, evenly divisible calendar. We would have to go out to a 372-day orbit to do that, and that might be far enough away from the Sun that we would freeze to death slowly instead of frying and dying quickly, so let’s table that idea.

No, the 366-day orbit gets my vote. It makes permanent leap years, which we’re already used to. We’ve all seen tons of February 29ths – now we would just see them every year.

We would also still have an annual variance in respect to which dates fall on which days of the week. The 366-day calendar gives us 52 weeks plus two days, but since there are seven days in a week, the match of days of the week to dates on the calendars would repeat every seven years. In other words, if your birthday was on Monday this year it would be on Wednesday in 2021, on Friday in 2022, on Sunday in 2023, on Tuesday in 2024, on Thursday in 2025, on Saturday in 2026, and again on Monday in 2027.

A little bit regular, but not boring!

(And saving the world in good measure!)

I hope that someone gets right on this.

Image result for make it so meme gif

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The Other Lesson From Marathons

At my level, it’s not about “winning.” The Kenyans are not trembling in their running shoes.

You’re only “racing” against yourself.

Do the absolute best you can, and finish if you can with the best result you can.

And try again next time with the resolve to do better.

The deadline is almost here, for better or for worse.

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Sexual Harassment Training

It’s bad that it’s so long – California law requires managers to take recurring training of at least two hours every two years.

It’s really bad that the voice acting is so truly horrendous – were there no high school drama classes that needed the work?

It’s really, REALLY bad that the “story line” was so incredibly lame – this shit makes Hallmark Christmas movies look like Shakespeare by comparison.

It’s beyond really, REALLY bad that the “quiz questions” that you periodically take with a “big quiz” at the end were so obvious and common sense and just plain freaking STOOPID that I’m quite confident that I could have skipped the entire thing and simply taken the quizzes, been done with it all in five minutes, and STILL have gotten about a 98% correct score.

But the worst part?

There are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many snarky remarks, come backs, snappy answers to stupid questions, and absolutely hilarious jokes that could be made – and every one of them would be a violation of the sexual harassment policies being taught.

Wait – the worst worst part is that I’ve got to kill two hours doing this again in two years.

Does it actually cut down on sexual harassment?

Sucker bet.

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Not Super Back To Reality Tuesday

Back to that place where the traffic sucks, I’m short on sleep, the office is busy and hectic, the winds are blowing, it’s cold, and if I can’t be a the Chiefs’ victory parade tomorrow in KC then I want to be on a beach someplace warm and just sleep and watch movies and read books for about six months.

Which also isn’t going to happen.

And then you turn on the news…

So you try to escape into a classic, favorite, 1960’s comedy that was one of your Dad’s favorites and you realize just how awful and dated and sort of disgusting it is, and not in a really good Mel Brooks sort of way.

One foot in front of the other, I guess.

The only way out is through…

I hope your Wednesday doesn’t suck.

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That Feeling When – January 30th

That feeling when FaceBook pops up with a notice that it’s the birthday of a high school friend – and you remember that he died this year.

And it’s the second or third time that’s happened in the last month or so.

It sort of sucks.

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Chinese Proverb

Apropos to everything, but in particular on my mind tonight, is a Chinese proverb (is it really? I always see it referenced as an “old Chinese proverb,” but is that Western, modern, bullshit?) that says:

“The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

I hope I can keep that in mind.

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Creative License

Work, work, work, work, work…

As background noise, bright shiny distraction, something to keep me awake while reconciling aircraft ride accounts into the fourth hour at 23:45 after a ten hour day at work to start with and a couple hours of commuting to spice it all up, I’ve been watching the Australian Open. It’s not football or baseball or hockey, but I do like tennis. I sort of miss playing it, played in college and didn’t completely suck.

Anyway…

There’s an ad running, possibly local, where the gist of it is showing a whole slew of guys on a construction site all dancing and grimacing with legs crossed, in agony, and then showing the guy with the Porta Potties whose truck has broken down.

That’s bullshit.

I’ve been on many a construction site between my last couple of previous jobs and I can GUARANTEE that construction dudes wouldn’t be in agony trying to hold it in if there aren’t any portable facilities for them to use. Even if there ARE facilities available, it’s still not unusual to see them just unzipping and letting loose instead of walking all the way over to the outhouse.

But what if there are ladies on site?

Yeah, right. As for the guys, having women on site wouldn’t change anything I’ve said above. As for the women – ditto.

It’s Madison Avenue at its finest, but it’s about as accurate as the science in “Ad Astra.”

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Filed under Entertainment, Paul

Everyone Have A Great Week

I’ve been hunkered down all weekend (when I wasn’t watching amazing FOOTBALL!! and rocket launches!! and today’s ISS EVA!!) on deadlines that seem to be coming at me at 0.99c and they’re growing like the heads on the Hydra as I get things checked off and done, so I just want to say that I hope everyone in the US had a pleasant long weekend and will have a great (short) week ahead. I’m still here.

Yeah! Short week! Which means I need to get six days of work done in four instead of five…

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say.

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That Feeling When – January 18th

That feeling when you finally get a three-day weekend after going through the ringer with this and with that and the other thing and your first thought is, “GREAT! Now I can cram in 18-hour days working on this OTHER volunteer thing that I’m too stupid to walk away from!”

And mean it sincerely.

This might not be a well thought out plan.

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