Category Archives: Paul

August 26, 2017 · 22:39

Mercy Killing

In Kansas City we bought snacks to carry around on our adventures, chasing holes in the clouds to try to find holes in the sky. (I really will get around to telling all those stories and downloading the video and pictures, but I’m still totally slammed trying to get caught up at the office and at the hangar, and trying to get ready for tomorrow’s “special event,” and there are only so many hours in the day…) Not all of those snacks got eaten. Since we had excess capacity in our baggage allowance (thanks, Southwest Airlines!!) many of the non-perishable snacks got brought home with us for use here.

Today I checked on one of them, a package of Oreo cookies.

It was horrible.

They had been badly smashed and broken. Those poor cookies had been sitting there like that for days, crying, screaming, suffering.

I put them out of their misery.

Every single one of them.

Every fragment.

Every loose dollop of creamy frosting.

It was the only merciful thing to do.

You would have done the same.

You know you would have.

And you would probably feel just as bad about it right now as I do.

If you know what I mean.

3 Comments

Filed under Farce, Paul, Travel

August 25, 2017 · 23:58

“Never Again!”

…he said, while all about him nodded their heads sagely and knowingly, soothing him with their friendly reassurances. Of course, everyone knew it was bullshit…

I’ve officially reached the point where I swear i’ll never go on vacation again as long as I live and for the life of me I can barely imagine why I ever thought it would be beneficial to go on vacation last week.

Okay, there was that eclipse thing. But other than that – big picture – it was a couple of weeks of busting my tail to get ready and leave as few loose ends as possible when I got on the big metal bird and flew east. Once “on vacation” it seemed like we were always moving and trying to cram three weeks worth of sightseeing into four days. Then, once I’m back, I get to work like a banshee for even more weeks as I try to get caught up not only at work but at the hangar.

Never again!

I need a vacation to recover from my vacation!

Somewhere in the bottom of my brain there’s a little voice that says, “You’re doing it right, then! You don’t want to be boring! FOMO! YOLO! Plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead!”

I’m going to bed now, and in my dreams I’m going to hunt down that freakin’ little optimist in my subconscious and when I catch him I’m going to beat him to death with my bare hands. Or with a stick.

Whatever works.

1 Comment

Filed under Paul, Travel

August 24, 2017 · 23:45

Searching

Some days I find that searching for balance, calm, time, and a moment to breathe is about like searching through a cloud deck this thick for a 90% eclipsed sun.

Important to remember that even with the clouds and the odds against us, we DID succeed in seeing it.

Never stop searching.

Leave a comment

Filed under Deep Thoughts, Paul, Photography

August 9, 2017 · 23:23

A Little Slow

How mushy is my brain?

Well, now that I’m writing this out, maybe that’s the wrong way to put it. It could be that having a mushed brain has lowered my defenses and crushed my pre-conceived notions.

Or maybe it just goes to show how dense I normally am.

What brings this on?

The realization today on seeing a postage stamp with a female Disney villain that Cruella De Vil’s last name is “d’evil,” or in my case apparently, “duh! E-V-I-L!”

For what it’s worth, I always got the “Cruella” part.

All it took was the 1956 novel, the 1961 first Disney film version, three kids and god alone knows how many viewings later, so that those two long separated and lonely neurons in my skull could finally connect.

Yeah?!

1 Comment

Filed under Paul

August 8, 2017 · 23:08

…I’ll Troubleshoot Buggy Apps That Don’t Work

Yesterday I wrote “In My Copious Free Time…”

Tonight I saw that and said, “The heck with it!” (or words slightly less PG-13 but with the same meaning) and sat down to open up the first lesson on the refresher software that I had bought.

And it doesn’t work.

Of course.

Because, of course, because.

There’s no sound. I can see people’s lips moving and there are the occasional graphics – but no sound.

Phone’s not muted. Sound’s turned way up. Check all of the usual stuff. No joy.

Try a different lesson – same thing.

Uninstall the app. Re-download and re-install the app. Same thing.

Reboot the phone. Same thing.

Try it on my iPad. Same thing. Go through the same troubleshooting steps on my iPad. Same thing.

Look on both devices for any kind of control or setting that might explain the problem or offer a solution. No joy.

Log onto their website and download one of the lessons to run on my desktop system. Works fine – yes, there IS supposed to be sound when those lips be flappin’! But one of the reasons I spent $350 to get this package is so that I could watch the lessons and take the tests and track my progress and have the material as reference on my mobile devices! It’s informational that the videos work when streamed from their website, it’s just not particularly useful for me.

Send an email to their tech support and wonder how many days it will take them to get back to me. Let’s hope their customer service is better than that of the running gear / shoe store that pissed me off so much over the last two weeks.

In my copious free time…I’ll troubleshoot buggy apps that don’t work.

And write about it.

1 Comment

Filed under Flying, Paul

August 7, 2017 · 23:43

In My Copious Free Time…

…I need to be hitting the books, aka the “rusty pilot” training video series that I ordered about five weeks ago and have yet to crack open.

As of today, another hurdle overcome to get back into left seat up in the pointy end of the plane. I now once again am the proud owner of a FAA Third Class Medical Certificate. Legally, today I can fly again. Practically, that’s not a good idea unless the zombie horde has the airport surrounded and they’re looking at me as an appetizer. Almost four years will leave your skill set a bit “eroded.”

Nothing that a handful of lessons with an instructor won’t cure, and once I’m safe to work on my own, building some hours in pursuit of the perfect $100 hamburger.

Once I run through those refresher videos and brush up on my radio skills and sectional map reading…

…which will happen in my copious free time…

…after I find that final boss in the most boring video game of all time (aka, converting our CAF SoCal Wing accounting books to QuickBooks Online, aka one of the top [bottom?] ten most slow and frustrating and useless programs ever written).

The daily data entry sessions with QBO now take on a bit more urgency with the extra prize at the finish line.

Excuse me, I have some accounts payables to post!

Mmmmmm – payables!

1 Comment

Filed under CAF, Flying, Paul

August 6, 2017 · 23:49

Eclipse Anticipation

Two weeks (and a few hours) out from the total solar eclipse.

Looking at the (almost) full moon tonight, having seen it coming out of new moon as the thinnest of crescents at sunset twelve days ago (too close to the sun to be seen in the two days before that), knowing that it’s on its inevitable course to that bull’s eye in the sky on the afternoon of August 21st.

It’s awe inspiring, in the most literal sense of the word.

1 Comment

Filed under Astronomy, Paul

August 5, 2017 · 23:25

No Context For You – August 5th

At least, I think it’s August 5th…

Sorry about the sort of downer post yesterday. It’s been a long stretch. Y’all have been good so I won’t tell you about the nightmare that woke me up this morning…

On a related but hopefully more upbeat (or at least bizarre and/or whimsical) note, do those folks who find themselves in highly unusual and inexplicable circumstances in old “Twilight Zone” episodes hear Rod Serling doing his voice overs? I would think that would be a sign that something’s up and the rules have shifted without everyone getting a copy.

More to the point, if by “those folks” I mean “us,” is anyone hearing Rod in their head?

Leave a comment

Filed under Paul, Photography

August 4, 2017 · 23:32

You Would Think – August 4th

You would think that after being awoken from a sound sleep by the sound of the gurgling toilet filling up and threatening to overflow, forcing you to jump naked out of your nice warm bed and grab the plunger to avert a disaster, you would think that the day had get better from there. Right?

You would be wrong.

Bring on the weekend. Or, as I referred to it earlier, “Same shit, different non-profit!”

Trying to maintain a positive outlook and a sharp wit…

3 Comments

Filed under Paul

July 29, 2017 · 23:43

Accept No Substitutes

Christopher Reeve

Michael Keaton

Tobey Maguire

Patrick Warburton

Let anyone who disagrees with me in my incarnation as Grumpy Old Man In Training learn to live with the fact that they’re wrong.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Paul