Category Archives: Paul

That Moment, September 5th Version

…when you realize that the primary reason you don’t just start primal screaming in the middle of your day (aside from the way it tends to freak out your office mates) is that you’re not sure you’ll be capable of stopping.

I know that it’s good that I’m not in Houston, still be underwater.

I know that it’s good that I’m not in Oregon, burning and choking on smoke.

I know that it’s good that I’m not in South Florida, looking down the barrel at the biggest, baddest hurricane in recorded history in the Atlantic.

I know that it’s good that I’m not in Bangladesh, where 41,000,000 (not a typo) have been affected by their worst flooding in history.

But some things still suck and make me want to build a pillow fort under my desk with a big bag of Oreos and M&Ms and a good book and hide there until it gets better.

Adults don’t get to do that.

Or so I’m told.

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Filed under Deep Thoughts, Disasters, Paul

Is It The Roller Coaster Or Is It Me?

The ups and downs, the loops, the negative G’s, the sudden stops and starts, the 180° hairpin turns…

They seem harder to handle these days. Were they actually easier thirty years ago, or am I just losing a step (or five)?

Eight hours a day, some days ten, some days more, some with barely the time to breathe or catch lunch, all the while spinning and flipping and trying to land on your feet, or at least not with your spleen impaled on something sharp.

Too much adrenaline. Not enough cavalry coming riding over the hill to cut me some slack.

Too much adrenaline, even before the elderly blind assclown on his phone in his full-sized Mercedes runs through the stop sign and damn near ruins my day on a more permanent basis.

Too much adrenaline.

And yet, once or twice in the middle, a victory, or at least a vague feeling that perhaps breaking even or possibly a bit better might be on the horizon.

So we’ll do it again tomorrow.

 

 

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Confession

“Bless me, flight instructor, for I have failed to maintain currency. It has been five years, ten months, and twenty days since my last flight as pilot-in-command…”

I didn’t get to fly today, which was a tiny disappointment (there was a mechanical issue with the plane I had reserved, and the only other plane available had a glass cockpit, which I haven’t ever flown), but I did get started on my “rusty pilot” ground training.

For those unfamiliar with the process (which I’m assuming is probably most of my audience), a private pilot needs a few things to fly legally. First is a pilot’s license, which I got back in 2009. Those don’t expire, but they’re useless (legally) without the other components.

The second is a current medical certificate. These have to be renewed every two years for guys like me who are just flying little Cessnas and Pipers. (For commercial pilots, the ones flying you around on United, American, Delta, Southwest, and so on, it’s every six months.) Since I hadn’t flown in almost six years, my medical certificate had expired about four years ago. Being a bit older and taking some different medications meant some additional paperwork, which meant some additional time, but I finally got that taken care of in early August.

The third thing I need to fly legally is a “BFR” or “Bi-annual Flight Review.” Every two years, I have to have a flight instructor make sure that I still know what I’m doing. It’s not necessarily as stressful as having an FAA check ride, but it’s a couple hours of work and you have to prove that you’re still competent. But that assumes that you’re current, you’ve been flying regularly, and you occasionally practice and/or use procedures that might not be everyday occurrences.

When you haven’t flown in five years, ten months, and twenty days, you are neither current, practiced, or competent.

So the task at hand is to get the BFR done, but it’s going to take more than just the legally required minimum of two hours of flight instruction. My guess is that it’s going to take something like ten to twenty hours of flying, along with a lot of ground school and other review of the rules, regulations, aerodynamic theory, etc.

Much of the ground school stuff can be done on my own, and I’m in fact well into doing that. About three weeks ago I wrote about a software issue I was having – that was referring to a fairly extensive software package of videos and tests that I had ordered as part of a “rusty pilot” training package. It’s working now, so I’m going through hours and hours of review tutorials.

Today I thought we might start the flying part, but that wasn’t to be. I did get a bunch of the paperwork out of the way with the flight school and I met my new flight instructor. We went over the plan of what to expect for this process and got started on the ground training. I’ve got my marching orders on the studying and we’ll start flying in a couple of weeks. (The scheduling is going to be a bitch to start – between work Monday through Friday from 9 to way past 5 every day, my CAF work all day on Saturday, there aren’t a lot of options left for flying. Then when I have to not only find a hold in the flight instructor’s schedule but also a plane that’s available at the same time, with a LOT of other people also wanting to rent planes on Sundays, I have a problem.)

All in all, confession is good for the soul (I’m told) and I’m glad to see that next step behind me. Now, instead of five Hail Marys and two Our Fathers, for penance I’ll go watch the next video on airspace review.

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Filed under Flying, Paul

Mercy Killing

In Kansas City we bought snacks to carry around on our adventures, chasing holes in the clouds to try to find holes in the sky. (I really will get around to telling all those stories and downloading the video and pictures, but I’m still totally slammed trying to get caught up at the office and at the hangar, and trying to get ready for tomorrow’s “special event,” and there are only so many hours in the day…) Not all of those snacks got eaten. Since we had excess capacity in our baggage allowance (thanks, Southwest Airlines!!) many of the non-perishable snacks got brought home with us for use here.

Today I checked on one of them, a package of Oreo cookies.

It was horrible.

They had been badly smashed and broken. Those poor cookies had been sitting there like that for days, crying, screaming, suffering.

I put them out of their misery.

Every single one of them.

Every fragment.

Every loose dollop of creamy frosting.

It was the only merciful thing to do.

You would have done the same.

You know you would have.

And you would probably feel just as bad about it right now as I do.

If you know what I mean.

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Filed under Farce, Paul, Travel

“Never Again!”

…he said, while all about him nodded their heads sagely and knowingly, soothing him with their friendly reassurances. Of course, everyone knew it was bullshit…

I’ve officially reached the point where I swear i’ll never go on vacation again as long as I live and for the life of me I can barely imagine why I ever thought it would be beneficial to go on vacation last week.

Okay, there was that eclipse thing. But other than that – big picture – it was a couple of weeks of busting my tail to get ready and leave as few loose ends as possible when I got on the big metal bird and flew east. Once “on vacation” it seemed like we were always moving and trying to cram three weeks worth of sightseeing into four days. Then, once I’m back, I get to work like a banshee for even more weeks as I try to get caught up not only at work but at the hangar.

Never again!

I need a vacation to recover from my vacation!

Somewhere in the bottom of my brain there’s a little voice that says, “You’re doing it right, then! You don’t want to be boring! FOMO! YOLO! Plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead!”

I’m going to bed now, and in my dreams I’m going to hunt down that freakin’ little optimist in my subconscious and when I catch him I’m going to beat him to death with my bare hands. Or with a stick.

Whatever works.

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Filed under Paul, Travel

Searching

Some days I find that searching for balance, calm, time, and a moment to breathe is about like searching through a cloud deck this thick for a 90% eclipsed sun.

Important to remember that even with the clouds and the odds against us, we DID succeed in seeing it.

Never stop searching.

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Filed under Deep Thoughts, Paul, Photography

A Little Slow

How mushy is my brain?

Well, now that I’m writing this out, maybe that’s the wrong way to put it. It could be that having a mushed brain has lowered my defenses and crushed my pre-conceived notions.

Or maybe it just goes to show how dense I normally am.

What brings this on?

The realization today on seeing a postage stamp with a female Disney villain that Cruella De Vil’s last name is “d’evil,” or in my case apparently, “duh! E-V-I-L!”

For what it’s worth, I always got the “Cruella” part.

All it took was the 1956 novel, the 1961 first Disney film version, three kids and god alone knows how many viewings later, so that those two long separated and lonely neurons in my skull could finally connect.

Yeah?!

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…I’ll Troubleshoot Buggy Apps That Don’t Work

Yesterday I wrote “In My Copious Free Time…

Tonight I saw that and said, “The heck with it!” (or words slightly less PG-13 but with the same meaning) and sat down to open up the first lesson on the refresher software that I had bought.

And it doesn’t work.

Of course.

Because, of course, because.

There’s no sound. I can see people’s lips moving and there are the occasional graphics – but no sound.

Phone’s not muted. Sound’s turned way up. Check all of the usual stuff. No joy.

Try a different lesson – same thing.

Uninstall the app. Re-download and re-install the app. Same thing.

Reboot the phone. Same thing.

Try it on my iPad. Same thing. Go through the same troubleshooting steps on my iPad. Same thing.

Look on both devices for any kind of control or setting that might explain the problem or offer a solution. No joy.

Log onto their website and download one of the lessons to run on my desktop system. Works fine – yes, there IS supposed to be sound when those lips be flappin’! But one of the reasons I spent $350 to get this package is so that I could watch the lessons and take the tests and track my progress and have the material as reference on my mobile devices! It’s informational that the videos work when streamed from their website, it’s just not particularly useful for me.

Send an email to their tech support and wonder how many days it will take them to get back to me. Let’s hope their customer service is better than that of the running gear / shoe store that pissed me off so much over the last two weeks.

In my copious free time…I’ll troubleshoot buggy apps that don’t work.

And write about it.

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Filed under Flying, Paul

In My Copious Free Time…

…I need to be hitting the books, aka the “rusty pilot” training video series that I ordered about five weeks ago and have yet to crack open.

As of today, another hurdle overcome to get back into left seat up in the pointy end of the plane. I now once again am the proud owner of a FAA Third Class Medical Certificate. Legally, today I can fly again. Practically, that’s not a good idea unless the zombie horde has the airport surrounded and they’re looking at me as an appetizer. Almost four years will leave your skill set a bit “eroded.”

Nothing that a handful of lessons with an instructor won’t cure, and once I’m safe to work on my own, building some hours in pursuit of the perfect $100 hamburger.

Once I run through those refresher videos and brush up on my radio skills and sectional map reading…

…which will happen in my copious free time…

…after I find that final boss in the most boring video game of all time (aka, converting our CAF SoCal Wing accounting books to QuickBooks Online, aka one of the top [bottom?] ten most slow and frustrating and useless programs ever written).

The daily data entry sessions with QBO now take on a bit more urgency with the extra prize at the finish line.

Excuse me, I have some accounts payables to post!

Mmmmmm – payables!

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Filed under CAF, Flying, Paul

Eclipse Anticipation

Two weeks (and a few hours) out from the total solar eclipse.

Looking at the (almost) full moon tonight, having seen it coming out of new moon as the thinnest of crescents at sunset twelve days ago (too close to the sun to be seen in the two days before that), knowing that it’s on its inevitable course to that bull’s eye in the sky on the afternoon of August 21st.

It’s awe inspiring, in the most literal sense of the word.

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Filed under Astronomy, Paul