Stand For Your Dinner!

Talk about a freakin’ growth spurt!

I looked out this evening and everyone was out on the edge of the nest for feeding.

They literally look like they’re 50% bigger than they were just yesterday!

Definitely just three chicks. One unhatched egg that’s been seen, so the fate of #4 remains a mystery. We’ll see what’s in the bottom of the nest in a couple of weeks when everyone leaves.

I thought I might have spotted a fourth about two minutes later from another view, shooting through the screen door. (Thus the sort of funky quality to the image.) There were definitely four heads and everyone was looking at something over by the BBQ, so my first assumption was that Mama Finch had flown off and four chicks were waiting for her. But on closer examination, that’s obviously three chicks and Mama.

No clue was was going on at the BBQ. It wasn’t me – we’re doing our big holiday festival of fire and meat tomorrow.

(Oh, and go watch the “Hamilton” film – words can’t even describe how spectacular it is. At least, not my words.)

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Avian Domestic Dispute?

I came out of the “office” to the “break room” this morning at one point and found a whole lot of squawking going on.

These two were facing off up near the nest, with another female just below them on the vines, a male up on the crossbeam a couple feet to the right, and another on the refrigerator just outside the window I was shooting through.

I haven’t seen anything about finches raiding each others’ nests or attacking other finches’ nestlings, but that’s sure what seemed to be happening here. When they heard the clicking of the camera shutter one of the males tried to attack me and bashed himself a couple of times against the window before flying off with the third female. These two stared down each other for a minute before the one on the right flew off a couple feet.

The one on the left, presumably Mama Finch, approached the nest carefully and checked it out before hopping up and starting to feed the chicks.

Definitely looks like three chicks. There were several times today when I had a clear view of them being fed and I never saw a fourth.

They’re also starting to exercise those wings. The feathers there are almost full, while they’re still working on the rest of their plumage.

Another week before we start flying lessons? Ten days? They hatched around June 21st and it looks like 21 days “ish” is when the nestlings turn into fledglings and start to learn how to leave the nest.

Man, I really hope this COVID thing is over by then! I don’t know what I’ll do for entertainment if these guys all leave and I’m still stuck here in quarantine!

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Maybe Only Three

A couple of new terrordactyl pictures show that there aren’t five chicks in the nest.

I caught them shuffled over to one side this morning and there’s an unhatched egg in there, so there are no more than four chicks.

This picture shows three – but not necessarily a fourth. Their feathers are developing (although that fuzz on their heads still makes them look weird and alien) and their eyes are open, so they’re more normal looking, but this picture just shows a mass of fuzzy feathers and pink skin with a few beaks. I’ve seen three at a time being fed, and maybe kinda sorta if-ish a fourth, but nothing definitive.

Their behavior is interesting. Two seconds before I took this second picture they all had their heads popped up and beaks open above the rim of the next. Mama Finch was nowhere to be seen. I opened the patio door, took three steps to the nest, stepped up on the chair to start taking pictures – and all of them were hunkered down and quiet like tiny little non-bird-like-looking-brown lumps.

That’s what a couple hundred thousand years of evolution will do for you!

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The Apple

I have a bad brain. Sometimes it just goes off on its own. Sometimes it amuses me.

Today I got a bad apple. The combination…

I bit into the apple, which seemed absolutely fine from the outside, only to find that it was mushy and brown in a spot on the inside. Since most of it seemed fine, I got a knife and figured I would just core it and slice it up, taking out the tiny bad part.

The bad part was not tiny.

A solid third of the apple wasn’t all that solid. It was very strange since there was no sign of any bruising on the outside and no sign of any little critter that might have invaded and made a home there, but there was a lot of apple bits that went into the trash.

As I was eating the parts that weren’t brown and mushy, I noticed a teensy, tiny, minuscule, almost unnoticeable, pinhead sized bit of something dark on a piece just as I was popping it into my mouth. By the time its presence had registered I had already started chewing, so instead of spitting it out I just kept chewing. (“YOLO!!”)

And my brain, my bad brain, was off to the races!

THIS was how the alien xenomorph would get inside me! I would be distracted by the big chunks of brown and mushy stuff, but the almost infinitesimally small bit was the real danger, surviving my vigorous chomping like that liquid metal shit in “Terminator 2,” recombining down inside me and starting to grow, feeding, preparing for my big chest-burster scene without even the benefit of Sigourney Weaver being there to comfort me as I bled out! I was no longer a mere apple eater, I was now a HOST!

But was I the Host-est with the most-est?

With that idiotic question surfacing in direct response to the horrific black fantasy that had erupted full blown from my bad brain in mere seconds, I was now attempting to hold in hysterical gales of laughter and choking on the apple. (Maybe the alien was really fast and ready to come out and this was part of the plot? Unlikely, a good horror story needs far more time to marinate and lurk and build tension.)

It wasn’t bad enough that I could envision such a fate from something as mundane as an apple. It was the stupid joke as a response that made it all mine.

Bad brain.

Thinking about it, at first I was tempted to write it off as too much time (103 days now?) in COVID quarantine. One trip out to the store per week, one quick trip to the hangar to pick up mail, and the odd trip through a fast food line is starting to be a bit of a drag.

Later it occurred to me that an equally good explanation was that I have a “Calvin brain,” as in the “Calvin and Hobbes” comic strip. Calvin could become Spaceman Spiff in a heartbeat, or take trips to the Jurassic to get photos of dinosaurs in a get rich quick scheme. I’ve just added the snappy punchline. Which, granted, only seems to amuse ME, but you take what you can get. (Feel free to chime in if anyone has actually read this far… Extra special bonus points if you thought the punchline was funny.)

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Chow Time

It’s a weird world these days. Hours and hours and hours and hours every day living and working virtually, staring at over a half-dozen screens and six keyboards. And then for the tiny bit of permitted reality, watching baby birds get fed, shoving each other out of the way to get at Mama Finch.

Still don’t know exactly how many. This is a common scene, with the three biggest getting fed, but Mama keeps dipping her head down into the nest beyond them, so I’m thinking there are one or two down there that she’s taking care to feed as well.

They’re getting big enough to start rising up out of the nest now. They’re alien looking. Not sure their eyes are open yet.

A grandniece is asking if we’ve named them yet. I was thinking of Uno, Dos, Tres, Quatro, and Cinco, but given today’s aggressive display at dinner I think Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, and Echo might fit better.

This would be Alpha. One of them hatched first and always seems to be shoving the others around the most. I’m sure he wants to be a bald eagle when he grows up, but that’s not gonna happen. Unless maybe Mama Finch has picked up seeds from that old nuclear accident site over on the other side of the hill…

Hey! It’s 2020. Would you really be surprised at this point?

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Four Or Five

We had five eggs. Now we just have a flurry of weird little heads popping up every time Mom or Dad shows up with food.

Did they all hatch?

Maybe? Probably?

When they’re awake and up it’s because one of the adults is there, which means going and trying to take a picture will get my eyes gouged out. (I’m a woosy boy, Mama Finch is going to die defending her chicks from the perceived predator.)

When the adults are gone and I can sneak in for a quick, barely focused picture (remember, there’s not a lot of room between the top of the nest and the porch roof) the chicks (not these Chicks!) are all asleep and packed in like sardines. Four of them, or five?

At least.

Probably.

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Bizarro

That’s the word of the day. It fits.

My phone started nagging me this evening because it can tell that I wasn’t on my way to downtown LA to see “Hamilton” at the Pantages.

It can tell that because it can read my email, but apparently it’s not smart enough to read the news and understand that “Hamilton” has been cancelled due to the 128,000 dead Americans and total lack of any sort of sane response by the excuse that passes for the US government right now.

But that’s not what I came here to talk about.

That’s a somewhat… “disturbing?” image that was on my screen when that nagging message showed up, wouldn’t you say?

Actually, it’s quite wonderful, in a disturbing sort of way. It’s what I was watching, while waiting at a great BBQ restaurant pickup lot, waiting for a birthday dinner. (The birthday, not mine, was a high point of the day, BTW.) I was watching it because one of the folks I follow religiously on FaceBook and Twitter recommended it:

On FaceBook, he said, “Trust me.” Yes, you should. This is truly fucking awesome. And bizarro.

 

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Up Or Down?

Are we looking down at the ocean from low Earth orbit or looking up toward space through Rayleigh scattered sunlight?

It’s not easy to tell. Maybe if there had been a 737 on it’s way into Burbank, or the odd hawk or seagull soaring around. Or, on the other hand, maybe a bit of solar panel or a corner of a Dragon or Soyuz for context.

The trees are a dead giveaway.

Very, very few trees growing in low Earth orbit. As a rule.

Technically I guess you can’t rule out the arrival of one of the giant tree-like bioships from some advanced civilization, but the odds aren’t in your favor on that one.

So the bad news is that I didn’t get to go drift weightless today in low Earth orbit. The good news is that it was a nice, warm, sunny day here on this patch of the planet’s surface.

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Meanwhile, In The Laundry Room

While we’ve been distracted by the mama birds and baby terrordactyls, the plant kingdom is making its move in the laundry room:

This is how Steven King novels start, right? Or John Carpenter films?

One or two tiny little tendrils and the next thing you know you’re waking up with a pod lying next to you in bed!

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Mouths To Feed

Four confirmed baby terrordactyls (i.e., house finches).

There were five eggs, I’m counting four bright yellow beaks attached to strange pink & grey bodies. Not sure what happened to Little Cinco.

They haven’t opened their eyes yet, but if Mama’s not there and I even walk by on the patio I see the little heads popping up, mouths open wide.

The rest of the time they sleep, like little mutant Watchmen pets or something.

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