Category Archives: Paul

December 7, 2016 · 23:56

Holiday Convergence

A few years back there was the “Harmonic Convergence.” That turned out to be a load of hooey (spoiler alert!) but every year about this time I run into the “Holiday Convergence.” It’s a real phenomenon and it’s getting worse every year.

When you run an accounting department, it’s a busy time getting ready for the year-end close. When you run two of them, they take you away in a coat with long, long sleeves that zips up in the back it’s really, really busy. Plus we have the property taxes to get paid this week at my day job, and the night/weekend “job” is having our holiday party on Friday so I’m trying to keep track of that whole “who-has-paid-who-hasn’t-who-RSVPd-how-many-dinners-what-about-these-fifteen-people-who-always-show-up-at-the-last-minute-but-never-let-you-know-in-advance-should-we-count-them-anyway” thing. Throw in the holidays, holiday parties, putting up the tree and the lights (and more lights, and more lights, and more lights…) for good measure.

And gift shopping. (SHIT! I forgot to start gift shopping! Don’t tell anyone. Hello, Amazon?)

Meanwhile, those who are psychotic enough to have finished their shopping and are sane enough to not be running an accounting department (or two) are laughing, kicking back, winding down, getting ready for the holiday, filling the office with good cheer – while I run around with my hair on fire and a whip to keep my poor, beleaguered staff slaving away, shoulder to the grindstone, nose to the wheel!

This year we have the extra special topping on the cake in that 2016 has decided to do its best to be the WORST FREAKIN’ YEAR in the last fifty or so, while working hard to solidify its spot in the top ten worst years of the last 2000 or so. Unfortunately for 2016, 1348 pretty much has a lock on the title. (The Black Death is a tough act to follow.) Unfortunately for all of us, 2016’s a gamer and it’s got twenty-four more days to put itself over the top.

Holiday Convergence – ask for it by name when the Comet O’ Sweet Sweet Death comes hurtling in (just like in that Hallmark movie!) on Christmas Day!

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December 4, 2016 · 23:05

Assembly, Not Trimming

One of the “best bang for the buck” items in our household is the artificial Christmas tree we bought at least a dozen years ago. (It might be longer.)

The old phrase “trimming the tree” isn’t quite appropriate for a fake tree – “assembly” is a better verb. I remember last year thinking (after the fact) that the assembly process would be a good subject for a time lapse video. This year I actually remembered to do it as an experiment.

Not perfect – probably need to get some sort of tripod mount for the iPhone to do it better. But not bad.

Welcome to the Willett household Christmas tree assembly, 2016 version!

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Filed under Castle Willett, Christmas Lights, Paul, Ronnie, Video

December 2, 2016 · 23:01

Benefits Review Needed

Who’s in charge of this website? Where’s the HR department?

How many sick days do I get, and is that for both physical and mental illness?

Does OSHA know about this?

Is this like “Catch 22”?

There was supposed to be creativity here, a refuge from the hum-drum life, a daily affirmation that I was still human and not just a drone from a bad Matrix fanfic. I know that not every day can be a game winner, but jeez louise!

Sorry, I’m ranting.

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November 30, 2016 · 23:37

One Year

A year ago today I re-entered the ranks of the gainfully employed after being out of work for two years and forty-five weeks. To be given the opportunity to contribute and make a living again after being at one employer for so long (strike one), being my age (strike two), and having been out of work for so long (strong three) was a wonderful thing and it would be hard to overstate my gratitude.

On the other hand, it seems that I’m holding my own and pulling my weight, and then some. With the magnitude of the changes I was expecting there was a sliver of doubt that I could still make the grade (see strikes one, two, and three above). There have been days when I’ve been exhausted and a few where I’ve been a bit down on myself and frustrated (gee, I’ll bet some of that comes through in these daily brain regurgitations!) but despite that things are better now than they were a year ago, both for me and for the Habitat for Humanity affiliate where I’m the Director of Finance.

A little thing went a long way to making my day today. I got a card from our CEO, a simple little congratulations for making through the first year. An acknowledgement of the anniversary, a bit of praise.

If you think that’s not that big of a deal, consider that at my previous employer no one from the President and Vice-President down to the executive secretary ever acknowledged any kind of work anniversary. Not one year, not five years, not ten years, not twenty years, not twenty-five years. Forget about the proverbial gold watch for twenty-five years – no one knew and no one cared.

There are a lot of reasons that this job is so much better than that one. I like the job and the company goals more, I like that we’re actually making a difference in people’s lives, people who need the help. (We build houses for low-income military veterans.) I like all of the people I work with. The commute is much, much shorter — if you don’t think that’s a big deal, come and drive around in LA traffic for a few morning rush hours. I now have people to work with who I can truly trust to be teammates, people that I can count on to get things done, help me when I need it, and ask for my help when they need it.

The fact that we take the time to set up a calendar to give out a card on work anniversaries is small, but very important. It makes a huge difference.

Here’s to the next year and to all the years beyond!

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November 29, 2016 · 23:06

Some Days You’re Just Grumpy

There might be so many reasons.

Maybe that fish last night was a little bit spicy, or the broccoli was making you a bit gassy. Maybe that had you feeling punkish all night, leading to a lousy night’s sleep.

Maybe there’s an anniversary coming up that you thought would be a cause for celebration, but you’re just not feeling the joy. Or maybe it’s the other way around, you’ve got something going on that you can’t put your finger on and that’s putting off from the celebration.

Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe you’re feeling under appreciated.

Maybe you miss someone. Maybe someone’s showing up in your head at night and you don’t understand what they’re trying to tell you or why they can’t still be there when you wake up.

Maybe you saw or heard or read something that got stuck down in your subconscious like a burr that wiggles its way deep under your collar on your back. You can’t quite remember what it was or why it bothered you, but you know something’s not quite right.

(You hope that it’s not because you’re a closet asshole. You HATE people like that. Although being that guy and not realizing it would definitely qualify as a burr in the subconscious.)

But you can’t act grumpy at work, because it’s not their fault and it’s not their problem. You shouldn’t act grumpy at home, because, well, the same.

So you put on some good tunes, try to get some work done, maybe try to write a rambling piece on your website, keep smiling, keep putting one foot in front of another, and hope that tonight you either get some sleep or some answers.

Maybe tomorrow won’t be a day you’re just grumpy.

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Filed under Deep Thoughts, Paul

November 20, 2016 · 19:18

No Jury Duty Tomorrow

It’s my week to be on standby, but I’ve been given the word that I’m not required to check in tomorrow. Yeah!!

I don’t envy the folks who have to try to get people to show up for jury duty. It’s a civic duty, a responsibility of being a good citizen, necessary for our judicial system to work, blah, blah, blah. I get it. I agree. But the brutal reality is that for the potential juror it really is a disruptive and often frustrating experience. It can cost you lost wages, extra expenses for childcare or transportation, and the compensation you get in return is a token at best.

Many jurisdictions try many different schemes to get people to show up for jury duty and make it as fair as possible while also making it as (relatively) painless as possible. The Los Angeles County system these days isn’t bad as they go.

You’re “on call” for a week, but you’ll only have to potentially go in for one day of that week. You call in or go online every evening to see if you’ve been picked to show up the next day. If you make it through the week without being called in, you’re done for the next year.

If you do get called in, it’s for one day only – if you’re not picked for a trial or put on a jury. I’ve been a couple of times where that’s happened and it might just be one of the most boring experiences on the face of the planet. I’ll bring a book, and these days with the music, books, podcasts, movies, and television shows on my phone, it could be worse. But it’s not terribly comfortable, you’re locked in at their whim as to when you and where you can go, you pay an arm and a leg for parking, and you have to put up with all of the security theatre to get in and out.

Think of a long day of high school detention being held in the worst airport terminal you’ve ever been in, stuck with a couple hundred people who are just as bored, uncomfortable, and pissed off as you are, and you’re probably all losing a day of pay or worse.

Maybe you get picked for an actual jury pool. (I’ve had this happen once.) Then you get to go off to another incredibly boring room and sit until all of the players (judge, lawyers, plaintiff, defendant) are ready. You start to get lectured on what the rules are, what’s going to happen, what the case is about, and so on. In my case, by the time all of that was done, it was time to break for lunch. Then, after lunch when we’re all told to be back promptly at 12:30, a couple of our fellow potential jurors blew off the deadline and mozied in more like 13:00-ish.

The rest of us cooled our heels in a hallway for that half-hour with nowhere to sit. They can’t start, they can’t move on, they can’t talk to us, no one can do anything until EVERYONE is present. I don’t know if they fined, jailed, or waterboarded those who were late and kept us all waiting, but I can hope.

Now we got down to business! We still didn’t know what the case was about, just whether it’s civil or criminal. We all get to fill out a long questionnaire so they can see which of us have something in our life that would disqualify us for one lawyer or the other. It’s a civil case for a landlord-tenant dispute and you own an apartment? Gone! Someone’s suing over a POS lemon they got from a car dealer and you work selling cars? History! A criminal case for drunk driving and you’ve had someone in your family killed or injured by a drunk driver? No thanks!

And so on.

Once they have all of the questionnaires they start tossing folks “for cause.” Then they start bringing us up one by one and start asking questions. Some get dismissed, the lawyers each have a few “picks” (I’m sure there’s a legal term for it) where they can toss you without giving any justification or reason, and some get sent over to the other side of the room to wait.

I assume that once they get 12 or 14 or 18 or whatever they need over on the other side of the room, they’re done, the rest of us get dismissed to go back to the jury pool room and be bored again and wait some more, and they get on with their trial. I’ve heard tales of that part taking a day, a couple of days, a week, but it’s pretty rare to end up lasting months and months like the OJ Simpson trial did. But it could.

In my case, after they had four or five jurors picked, they took a break and the lawyers went and huddled up with the judge. They came back and announced they had reached a settlement, and we were ALL sent back to the boring jury pool room. (I figured that one of the lawyers or the other was giving the jury pool the hairy eyeball, didn’t like their odds, and hit the eject button.) We waited there another hour, there were no more trials pending for the day, and we were all released, clutching the magic paper that said we had done our jury duty and didn’t have to do it for another year!

For now, all that fun’s on hold and I’ll be at the office tomorrow morning. Tomorrow night I’ll call again and see if Tuesday’s my special day. I will admit, when you’re calling, going through the check-in over the phone, and finally punching that last button and waiting to see the result, it’s a bit dramatic. It’s not Russian roulette, but I definitely noted some anxiety. The need a drumroll or something to go along with it.

Four more days to go.

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November 18, 2016 · 23:15

Notes From The Dark

Yesterday, when I showed y’all a big ugly bruise on my arm that I could not remember getting, one friend suggested that perhaps I had taken up sleep walking. My immediate response was to suggest that perhaps I should wear my step-counting smart watch to bed to see if it knew something in the morning that I didn’t.

While it’s possible I’m bouncing off the walls while sleeping,

I do know that I have other barely conscious nocturnal activities that leave morning mysteries.

Sometimes I find notes that I wrote to myself about really vivid dreams.

Occasionally these notes almost make sense if I can sort of remember bits of the dream, but if I can’t, I just have the cryptic note.

For example:

  • Olympics
  • Carrying huge stones
  • Blindfolded
  • We try it
  • Running down ramp to field
  • At other end of field we feel the trinkets
  • Then back but don’t drop stone
  • We got silver

Not a clue, folks. I’m glad to see that we won the silver, although I’ll always wonder how came we close to getting the gold.

Of course, it’s the “at other end of field we feel the trinkets” line that catapults this one into a class of its own. It made sense in its own dream-like way right up to there.

Now if I can find one of these notes that has an “OUCH!” on it…

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November 17, 2016 · 23:11

It Did Leave A Mark

I just have no stinkin’ clue what “it” was:

img_4808

That’s my right upper arm between my elbow and shoulder. It felt tender Monday morning, almost like I had gotten a shot there. (I hadn’t gotten a shot there.) Tuesday morning it was sore. Yesterday it was purple. Today the yellowish-green tinge set it.

I’m hardly in agony – it’s just a big bruise.

They mystery is that I have absolutely zero clues about what caused it. One would normally think that a collision with something or slamming into a doorway or being slugged with a baseball bat would leave a memory that would last at least a day or two.

Nada.

Zip.

Zilch.

Let’s see what color it is tomorrow!

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November 16, 2016 · 23:12

It’s Just A Suit

I wore a suit to work today, a tiny step up from the “usual” dress shirt, slacks, and tie.

The first words out of their mouths by almost every single person in the office was, “Do you have a job interview today?” That list includes my boss.

Sometimes a guy just wants to look pretty, okay? What’s wrong with that?

And no, there was no job interview.

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November 14, 2016 · 23:19

Retail Therapy

Not a phrase I ever thought that I would be using in describing myself.

I don’t “shop.”

I “buy.”

I generally know what I want and I just want to get into the store, get it, and get out.

I try to avoid too much shopping online, because it’s so easy to spend hundreds of dollars and have it conveniently come with free shipping. But wait, there’s more!

Imagine my surprise on Election Night when I found myself on a men’s clothing site, hunting for bargains in my size.

Granted, I was still buying, not shopping. I know my size, I’ve gotten shirts here before, I know which brands I like, and I sort of really needed some new dress shirts. They had a lot of old stock (last years’s style? who cares, “style” is not anything I’ve ever spent two brain cells on) available in one of this size, one of that, pretty hit and miss. But with a little bit of searching, suddenly I had five brand new shirts, many in bright colors (which I favor) inbound from around the country.

We may be in sewage up to our armpits out there these days, but I’ll be looking sharp as I wade through it!

(Actually, I won’t look “sharp” since there’s that whole “who gives a rat’s ass about fashion or style” thing, but I’ll be comfortable and **I** will like the way I look. Everyone else can take a hike.)

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