It happens every year. Last year it was December 5th. The year before it was November 13th. Before that November 12th. And November 30th. I had thought this year was actually the earliest yet, but I see that it’s not, by about four days.
I hopped on the registration as soon as it came in and got it back quickly, so while we’re still pretty much guaranteed to be the first ones on the block with the newest year’s tags, it won’t be the earliest.
As I say every year, cheap thrills for the little kid inside who spent way, WAY too much time on cross country trips playing license plate games.
The end of October, the hockey game on Thursday, the fantastic Danny Elfman show last night at the Hollywood Bowl, deadlines at work, the Chief’s off week, family in town for the concert and hockey game…
It’s played “fifty-two pickup” with my schedule, and more importantly, my perception of my schedule.
For better or for worse, all evening I’ve had my internal clock telling me that today was Saturday, which is great because I could really, really use tomorrow to chillax and kick back.
Oops!
Tomorrow’s Monday. Tomorrow’s Halloween. Tomorrow’s payroll, and month end.
“Good thing I’m having such a great time doing so many things,” he said, dazedly, still slightly in shock. “Otherwise I could be double booking panic attacks and nervous breakdowns!”
“Yet we do have the ability within us to be like this flower, finding a way to get up when the world knocks us down. We can bring the tiniest bit of beauty and joy to the world, even if it sucks. We can still make it better.”
It was easy to say then, harder to do today.
There’s a fair amount of rage to deal with today. I’m functional, deadlines to keep, places to go, people to piss off, but it’s more autopilot than innovation.
“Be the flower,” I said.
Yeah, right now I might be something with thorns, at best, and I don’t mean a rose, or even a cactus. More like one of those invasive species with the pollen that’s incredibly toxic and the sap that blisters, burns, and blinds.
Tomorrow I’ll see what I can do about channeling that into something productive.
There’s a drought, fourth year. We’ve got some significant watering restrictions outdoors. It’s been hot, pushing into the upper 90’s almost every day for weeks.
The lawn is turning brown. The dirt is hard packed.
It’s hard out there for all of us. Politics. The economy. Inflation. Gas prices. COVID. Stress. Uncertainty.
Yet we do have the ability within us to be like this flower, finding a way to get up when the world knocks us down. We can bring the tiniest bit of beauty and joy to the world, even if it sucks. We can still make it better.
Even if you have to fake it. Function follows form.
So, for last night’s post, were there zero likes because no one actually read it, or was it because folks read it and it didn’t make any damn sense?
What I truly love is waking up at about 02:30 with my brain going, “Knock, knock! You forgot the punchline!”
With that title referring to an old joke, I never mentioned which old joke. So, for the record after feeling good, having the computer issue, and then not feeling so good, the old joke in question was the one about discovering that the light at the end of the tunnel being an oncoming train.
I didn’t say it was a particularly good joke.
And once I powered down the system, let it sit for a few, and turning it back on, it powered up just fine. No worries.
Still not out of that tunnel, but maybe that actually is daylight. Stranger things have happened.
Hey, what’s that feeling? Could it be … optimism? Satisfaction? Relief? Maybe even just a tiny touch of, dare I say it, happiness?
You met all of those deadlines today! Yeah, you! Sure, not everything on that to-do list from Hell got done, but that’s never going to happen. The important, critical stuff got done!
A couple of those things you have been working on for weeks! And maybe the whole project isn’t done, but at least those really big, hard, key components are done! The hard part might actually be behind you!
You might even get this upcoming three-day weekend off! Like, really REALLY off, not just that kinda sorta “I’ll just have to do a little work” off. It could happen!
Wait! What? I’m soooooooooooory! I didn’t mean it!
That wasn’t “happiness!” There’s no “satisfaction” or “relief” here! It was just gas!
Yeah, that’s obvious. There’s a LOT going on right now. Home. Work. Life. The World.
Oh, yeah, all of that shit. I’m sure you all have the same to a greater or lesser extent.
In the fog of just trying to keep one’s head above water in the chaos, something or the other will sometimes trigger a meloncholy moment, a memory, often of someone gone or at least no longer in contact, and I’ll get into that “what if?” mindset. Occasionally there are regrets, but always of the sort where I regret NOT doing something, not regrets over something I did.
At the same time, if you look at the pictures and quick snippets here, you know that I encourage and value the tiny pleasures, the small moments, the subtle beauties all around us. The birds, lizards, flowers, clouds…
So meld those thoughts just a bit and I was wandering off on a whistful train of thoughts. To wit – if I could speak to my younger self in those moments when I had to decide whether or not to step out of my comfort zone, to take a risk, to “go for it,” what would I say? And more critically, when I make a moment to breathe now, pushing away the chaos and pressure for a few precious moments, instead of wishing things were different and just being frustrated with it all, what might my future self be wanting to tell me if he could reach back and talk to me now?
Can that message be heard if I listen closely enough? I wish I knew. Maybe it’s just not that easy.
I hope some of this makes sense, but I doubt it. It’s really late, I was up really, really late last night, and the rest of the week looks to be “exciting.”
Keep breathing, keep helping each other, keep on accepting help when it’s offered. We’ll make it through together.
For probably the dozenth time or more in the 9+ years of this blog…
Will WordPress post a GIF? More to the point, will it show it animated?
One way to find out.
For the record, I stand corrected from last night. It hasn’t been 80 years since D-Day, it’s only been 78.
For the record, “Come From Away” was utterly spectacular, amazing, emotional, hilarious, astounding, and anyone who knows me at all will know exactly which song, and which line in that song, hit me like a gut punch.
We Love The Stars Too Fondly 