Category Archives: Paul

May 8, 2016 · 21:15

Twitter Ten Thousand

Last August I reached a milestone on my Twitter account, posting my 5,000th tweet. Twitter says that I joined some time in February 2009, so it took six years and seven months to post 5,000 tweets.

Today, less than nine months later, I posted my 10,000th. Granted, many of them are re-tweets, particularly of photos of the Earth taken by astronauts on ISS. Plus other space stuff. And airplane stuff. And science stuff. Still, that’s a lot of tweets.

In August I thought about noting the 5,000th tweet with something at least thoughtful instead of just another smartass remark (is “smartass” one word or two?) or a retweet. At the time I was still looking for a job, despite having not acknowledged that explicitly in my work here, so I referred vaguely to “the 400 lb elephant” and a second “meeting.” Because for various reasons I didn’t want to use terms like “unemployment” or “interview,” I was being obtuse.

With the 10,000th Tweet here, I again was looking for something less “fluffy” to post. It occurred to me that the 5,000th tweet was, in retrospect, about the biggest concern I had in life at the time. So what has me on edge today?

Oh, yeah, THAT. But rather than go off on a rant regarding one particular person or another, I wanted to address the more general problem. (I now notice that I had the dates off by a few weeks, but that doesn’t change the point I’m trying to make.)

At this rate, I should be hitting 15,000 tweets about mid-January. Let’s say, about January 20th. Which, the way things are lining up right now, will be a rather historic date in American history.

Let’s hope that by February 1, 2017 we’re not asking ourselves, “What in the hell were we possibly thinking?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Paul, Politics

May 1, 2016 · 23:05

Down The Silicon Rabbit Hole

I spent way too much time this week and especially today trying to untie the Gordian knot of my current computer setup. You need to fix “A,” but to do that you need to do “B,” but to do that you need to do “C,” which in turn causes a fatal problem with “D”…

What’s the old line? “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s important to remember that the original job was to drain the swamp.”

Windows 10 has been a bit of a problem on one system (A), and while it was behaving a little better after some tweaking, something still isn’t right. The other system can’t run Windows 10 at all due to old, old hardware and no compatible replacements being built any more. Which doesn’t stop Win10 from demanding permission to upgrade every time I sit down.

Then there was a viral invasion which hit my address book and started spewing virus-ridden spam (B). Given the number of systems here and how heavily they get used, I guess I’m lucky that this is only the second actual infection that I can remember. In trying to shut it down I ran into a problem with my anti-virus software, which should have prevented it in the first place.

Turns out that the anti-virus product I’ve used for years isn’t one of best on the market as it was when I switched to it long ago (C). It was great then, got lots of stellar reviews – but then its little company got bought by a company which got bought by a company which sold off just that product… Bottom line, if you go review it now, it’s “so-so” at best.

So, I’m off to find a really good virus removal tool and top of the line anti-virus program for today (D). It seems that’s Kaspersky, which got five-star reviews across the board on several sites that I trust. Downloading the virus removal tool rooted out the problem (I hope) and I started replacing the old program with Kaspersky. Which was simple and easy on the desktop that’s still running Windows 7 and the laptop that’s now Windows 10. But…

On the desktop that’s been upgraded to Windows 10, that problem with it crashing without warning (not even a Blue Screen Of Death!) has gotten much, much worse now that Kaspersky’s installed (E). In fact, every single time I try to run a full system scan, within a fifteen to twenty minutes the system will reboot.

Lots of Googling and digging deeper into the Win10 diagnostics than I ever wanted to indicates that it’s the video card driver (F). But that system is also pretty old, so there are no updated drivers, nor are there any video cards that will run on that old PCI architecture. Messing around with some suggested fixes has improved the situation to where it now crashes and reboots without warning after a half-hour or so instead of after ten minutes – but it’s still crashing and rebooting.

I then spent a couple of hours digging into the esoteric details of PCI, PCI Express, PCI Express 2.0 and 3.0, and running through the specs on half of the video cards on Newegg.com to see if anything will work (G). The answer is maybe, and the cards in question are only $70 or so, which is reasonable – but they will only support one monitor at a time. Both of the desktop systems are dual monitor setups and I’ll go nuts with just a single monitor.

The solution there is to put in two video cards to run two monitors (H). But the motherboards on both of these old desktop systems each only have one slot that I can still use for any modern video card. Back to square one.

So how old exactly are these systems? Go to the Dell Computer site and look up the original specifications (I) and manuals. One is from 2007, the other from 2009. Well THERE’s your problem!

Given how much time I’ve spent screwing around with this to keep two systems kinda sorta maybe stable and running, maybe it would be faster (and possibly even cheaper) to just look at scrapping them and getting new systems. Let’s see what Dell has (J). They have plug-and-play pre-built systems that have only marginal abilities to be upgraded or expanded, they have extremely expensive systems designed for gaming (I’m not a gamer – I’m trying to get some work done), and they have workstations. The workstations are the closest thing to what I’m looking for, but they start at about three times what I was hoping to pay.

What about Newegg (K)? Or Hewlett Packard? Or Costco? Can I get a system with a big tower configuration that I can expand (I like to be able to customize and tinker and add extra memory and hard disks) for a reasonable price and then upgrade in the future as needed? Maybe. It’s still about 50% more than I was hoping to spend, but it might work. On the other hand, you’re buying it sight unseen from an internet site, and if it’s not what I want I might be stuck.

Maybe I could go someplace where I could actually look at one and see what kind of capabilities it has (L)? Fry’s Electronics was always the go-to place for this, but they’ve gone so far downhill that I dread the very thought of stepping in the door.

So how do I get the systems I want at a price that’s not going to break the bank (M)? It’s been a few years, but I guess I could start assembling a parts list from Newegg and do a DIY system. Start checking on cases, motherboards, RAM options, CPU options, hard disks, optical disks, video cards, power supplies…

And this way lies total madness. I probably have the skill set, rusty as it might be, and I’m sure I could get it done, but the time needed would be way more than I have.

Remember the line about draining the swamp? In this case, the original job is to get my computer systems safe, stable, and functional. Right now they’re borderline and I need to fix that. But it’s NOT a good option to take on a job that could take hundreds of hours when I don’t have time to spare for breathing some days.

Yet I can’t stay where I am (N).

It’s late, I have to get up and go to work tomorrow morning. I think I’ll do the logical thing and go to bed, hoping that the computer repair and upgrade fairies will show up tonight and take care of this.

Or at least they can keep the one system from crashing and the other from spewing out spam.

That would be helpful.

2 Comments

Filed under Castle Willett, Computers, Paul

April 15, 2016 · 23:34

Forget The Comments – Don’t Read The News!

Certain prominent factors in my far distant past have conspired over the years to turn me into something of a news junkie. In the old days (i.e., pre-Internet) I needed my daily newspaper and a whole collection of weekly and monthly magazines.

In the current era, I can go hours and hours and hours without checking the headlines. Really, I can! Any time I want!

That’s turning into a curse instead of the blessing I thought that it once was.

Occasionally, like tonight, desperate for some inspiration at 23:00+, I will go read the headlines on news.google.com or the LA Times. More and more that’s becoming detrimental to my health.

I really have tried to remain calm and not go off on too many political rants on this site. I like to keep it reasonably sane and lighthearted where possible. Thus, aside from the occasional snarky comments, often aimed at either side of the aisle, I’ve kept my peace.

But even reading the headlines these days can raise my blood pressure, raise my bile, threaten to re-raise my dinner, and generally put me right off of my fresh fried lobster. I start composing a screed in my head filled with incredulity that certain people are allowed to walk the streets without a keeper, let alone be considered “leaders.” I want to rant and scream logic and scientific facts at morons with a big social media following who are functionally illiterate in any scientific field whatsoever, but insist that they’re experts in climate change, disease prevention, or whatever other batshit crazy cult bait they’re pushing today.

I want to weep for our future.

I fear that if I (and everyone else who’s as fed up as I am) just stop paying attention to the headlines that we’ll wake up one of these days and find that the inmates have not only taken over the asylum, but they’ll be jailing or killing anyone with an IQ larger than their shoe size. But if I do keep having this ignorance, stupidity, and hatred shoved down my throat there may not be enough bleach in the world to ever cleanse my eyes after being exposed to it.

I don’t have a solution. I just know that I’m getting pretty sick of having the clowns run the circus.

If someone wants me to believe in a kind, intelligent, benevolent, and beneficent god watching over us all, they could start with a whole slew of ignorant buffoons coming down with convulsions or festering boils on live television. Or some grim, painful, and 100% fatal disease. Or they could get hit by lightning – that’s always been popular with vengeful gods.

Let’s see something at least! Some sort of sign.

Otherwise, I think we might be totally screwed.

Perhaps ignorance is bliss. We’ve known since about five minutes after the Internet was born that you’re nuts to read the comments – it’s where all of the wingnuts and whack jobs hang out. It might soon be time to stop reading the news, for the exact same reasons.

(See, I did find inspiration for tonight by reading the headlines!)

Leave a comment

Filed under Death Of Common Sense, Paul

April 14, 2016 · 23:02

Oh, Crap, It’s April 14th!

Quick, get all of those tax documents together! It’s going to be an all-nighter! I’ll pay for it tomorrow and probably all through the weekend, but I don’t want to pay any penalties or…

Wait, what?

Tax returns aren’t due until the 18th?

Well, heck, that leaves us just a TON of time. AGES! EONS! No worries. Time to kick back, relax, and chill.

At least until the evening of the 17th…

3 Comments

Filed under Paul

April 2, 2016 · 22:26

The Symbolic Farewell To March

Huh?

I did what? Or more precisely, I didn’t do what?

Oh, pish! It was…it was a…uh…a joke! That’s it! It was an April Fool’s Joke! I meant to do that!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.

I mentioned that March went by so fast that it seemed to be redshifted in my rear-view mirror. Yesterday being the first official “it’s-not-March-any-more” day and with my birthday balloons looking pretty saggy, limp, and flaccid, it was time to take them down.

File Apr 02, 22 18 50 small

File Apr 02, 22 20 02 small

They didn’t even “pop!” as I stabbed them, just went “pfffffffffftttbbbb.”

1 Comment

Filed under Paul, Photography

March 26, 2016 · 23:34

Google Doesn’t Know EVERYTHING

…which is really not where this was intended to go or to start, but my brain is sort of off the leash at the moment. A thousand apologies in advance.

For the first time in recent memory I just got a response of “No results found for…” from Google. I’m sure you could Google a totally nonsense phrase and get that result. For example, let’s try “watermelon elephant button singing” – yep, that works, although there are a disturbing number of images for “watermelon elephant.”

But for something that I actually expected a reasonable likelihood of getting a hit or an answer, it’s hard to get NOTHING. However, as proof that it can happen, I find that if you search for “Thufir Hawat starter kit” you get a null result.

“Interesting,” you’re thinking (I hope), “but why in the world would one wish to Google search for the phrase ‘Thufir Hawat starter kit’?”

It’s because it’s a phrase that’s stuck in my head, having heard someone use it. My gut says that it might have been something on John Scalzi’s (most excellent) “Whatever” website, but a search there comes up with a null result as well. Maybe it was on Chuck Wendig’s (most excellent) “Terribleminds” website? Nope.

Let’s throw caution to the wind and take a step further down into the rabbit hole. “Why do you want to know who said it?”

Well, obviously, because I want to give them credit! I think it’s an incredibly clever phrase, and it perfectly describes, in a totally nerdy and geeky fashion, a phenomenon that is starting to make me nuts in my old age.

“I know I’ll regret asking, but what phenomenon is that?”

Eyebrows that go insane and grow in all directions and with a speed that puts kudzu to shame, of course!

File Mar 26, 23 00 07

Look at that! I had my eyebrows trimmed up when I got a haircut two weeks ago and I have these freakin’ BUSHES growing out in all directions now! They’re long and thick and white and they don’t behave themselves or look good at all!

It’s the Thufir Hawat starter set!

My apologies to whomever it was who uttered that clever bit – no doubt a middle-aged male who was quite as disgusted with this turn of fate as I am. I tried to give you credit, I really did. But Google failed me.

(For the record, I’m one of the least vain humans you will ever meet in your life. While I maintain relatively normal grooming standards and bathe regularly, I have never given two shakes about my hair, my looks, or my clothes. Looking “cool” or “hip” or “fashionable” is a pursuit I abandoned when Eisenhower was President. I just have never given a rat’s ass about any of that. So the fact that something like this is now bugging the crap out of me is what’s REALLY on my nerves. Perhaps I’ll just go “full Amanda Palmer.” Or better yet, Ilia/V’Ger!

Okay, I’ll stop now. You’re welcome.)

2 Comments

Filed under Health, Paul, Photography

March 25, 2016 · 22:14

What I Learned At The Gym Today

First, I need to go more than once every eight or nine months. This “duh!” observation is brought to you tonight by Captain Obvious!

Secondly, I always overdo it on my first return visit. Actually, this isn’t something I learned today, it’s something I’ve always known. I guess what I learned today is that I’m never going get any smarter about not doing it again.

Third, understand that I truly am blind as a bat from arms’ length inward. However, with my “cheater” reading glasses on I’m equally blind as a bat from arms’ length outward to the Andromeda Galaxy. This is why I always wear shirts or clothing with pockets, to facilitate putting the glasses on and taking them off a hundred times a day. Gym shirts and shorts don’t have pockets, or if they do, anything in them tends to get mashed during the course of a workout. Even without the glasses I can make do with reading stuff on my phone since I have the “Zoom” feature activated for just such a situation. But I learned today there is no “zoom” function on my combination lock to get back into my locker.

Fourth, it’s bad enough to have forgotten a pair of headphones so I couldn’t listen to music whilst I tortured myself. But that leaves little else for the brain to do during thirty minutes on the bike or treadmill other than watch all of the damn televisions on every wall and every piece of equipment. While a couple are showing basketball or spring training baseball, some are on CNN and some on Faux – and we’re going through this idiotic political circus. Remember the scene in “The Fifth Element” where Leeloo is learning about humans by reading the entire computer encyclopedia and gets to the section on “War”?

Finally, I learned that after watching an hour of CNN and Faux and Trump and Cruz and Brussels and ISIS and North Carolina and Vaxxed, I would consider a two trillion ton nickle-iron asteroid on a direct collision course with the Earth at 0.1c to be a perfectly acceptable alternative.

Fortunately, I returned to the “normal” world, The Long-Suffering Wife, and Vin Scully broadcasting the first game of his 67th (and final) season with the Los Angeles Dodgers. If all of that wasn’t enough, I’m listening to Frank and Moon Zappa’s “Valley Girl” so I’m feeling much better about things.

Leave a comment

Filed under Health, Paul, Sports

March 23, 2016 · 22:12

The Paul 6.0! Motto

When I had that birthday last weekend, one of the birthday wishes I got on FaceBook was from a dear high school friend, Maria Mangano, who said, “Sending you all kinds of wonderful birthday greetings and wishes, Paul! Carpe every diem!”

My first thought was to start singing “Carpe every diem!” to the tune of “Climb Every Mountain” from “The Sound of Music,” but quickly realized that only scanned if you pronounced “carpe” as “carp.” That would be gauche, so I sang in using only my “inside voice.”

Instead I wrote back, “Thanks, Maria! To paraphrase Mark Watney, I’m going to carpe the shit out of those diems!”

I like it. I’ve decided that will be the official new motto of “Paul 6.0!” (Oh, yeah, decided to add the “!” because it’s bitchin’!)

“I’m going to carpe the shit out of those diems!”

Remember, when it’s on T-shirts all over the world, you heard it here first.

Leave a comment

Filed under Paul

March 21, 2016 · 23:15

Audit Time

I’m hoping there’s a special, special spot reserved in the seventh level of hell for whoever came up with the concept of the “financial audit.”

I’m now up to my neck in my THIRD ONE IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS and while one might think that simply makes me good at them (practice makes perfect!), that might also be a way for one to get noogied.

Just days after I started my new job we found out about a “special” audit, two full weeks, from the “big” company. By the time they got there in January I had been in the job all of about five weeks. A good time was had by all!

Then in February I had my annual CAF audit for two days. Again, more fun than an accountant should be able to have with its clothes on!

Now, in addition to being busier than god to begin with, I’m working late and losing sleep over our annual audit which will result in our tax returns and audited financial statement. Again…

I’ve been doing this for decades, despite my education in the sciences. I’ve got my MBA, I’ve been a “Controller,” a “Finance Officer,” and a “Director of Finance.” I spent five years writing office automation accounting programs back before the IBM-PC came out on the market.

(Yeah, I’m that old. Some time I’ll tell you about the PDP-8 we programmed in machine language, one command at a time…)

So I understand why audits are necessary, what purpose they serve, how important they are, blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah, blah, blah…

Doesn’t mean I have to like them!

Seventh. Level. Of. Hell.

A. Special. Place!

5 Comments

Filed under CAF, Computers, Paul

March 19, 2016 · 22:31

Paul 6.0

(First of all, I’m stealing this idea from Kurt Schindler, a Facebook friend of my niece. Credit where credit is due, but steal from the best.)

Early “milestone” birthdays are generally highly anticipated and eagerly celebrated. Turning 16? Get a driver’s license! Made it to 18? You can vote, and in some states you can legally drink. 21? More drinking!

Then the tone changes. 30? Are you now untrustworthy? 40? Geez, you’re becoming your parents, and if you’re a woman, your biological clock is ticking like Big Ben! 50? Midlife crisis time!

I hit 50 using the “best defense is a good offense” strategy.

File Mar 19, 21 50 01

So now here we are, on the release date for “Paul 6.0”. There was less fanfare this time around.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m just tired or if I didn’t feel the need to be outrageous. Maybe I just didn’t feel like going through the hassle of dying my hair blue or green. Maybe it’s just that I don’t have any accrued vacation time yet.

The down side of the less aggressive approach is that it has left the door open for more introspection and contemplation. In the immortal words of Crash Davis, “Don’t think – you can only hurt the ball club.”

It hasn’t been a huge deal. I have not been lying awake at night thinking of how drastically different my life will be on March 20th when compared to March 18th. But I have caught myself once or twice being surprised at some of my reactions.

There have also been a lot of nice things to get me through the “ordeal.”

Cards from The Long-Suffering Wife. Soooooo many cards. One a day, starting a month ago. Well played, dear, well played!

The weekend two weeks ago in San Jose when we were able to get all three kids together for the first time in years. It’s great that they’re world travelers and have taken our advice about not “wasting” their vacation time when on another continent by coming home to see us (go see another country, we’re boring!), but it’s also great to occasionally get together.

The balloons that The Long-Suffering Wife had delivered to the office on Wednesday, just to make sure that everyone in the office at the relatively new job knew what was coming up. (The latex balloons were one-day wonders as floaters…

File Mar 19, 21 47 00 small

but some simple engineering restored much of their festive spirit.)

File Mar 19, 21 47 53 small

(I would also like to thank the manufacturers of that little mini-desk for making it strong enough to hold my weight and not snap in two, sending me crashing against and through the window, plummeting to my death six floors below.)

While the start of this next decade of my life has some areas of potential improvement, not to mention an impressive and growing “life list” (I hate the term “bucket list”) to whittle away at, I’m going to focus on the latter while not forgetting about the former. It doesn’t take a whole slew of functional brain cells to recognize just how good I’ve got it – while also knowing that it could also be better.

Time to get to work on that!

 

5 Comments

Filed under Paul