Category Archives: Health

January 30, 2019 · 23:38

FUCK Cancer – Again

I know it’s been said before, unfortunately even here previously (five years ago), but it’s time to say it again:

“FUCK Cancer!”

Tonight I brought The Long Suffering Wife home from the hospital, having once again had a major surgery for cancer. We are hopeful that it was caught early (we won’t know exactly for a few more days when the biopsy reports come in) and she’s an Olympic gold medalist in quick healing. It helps a lot that the procedure was done laparoscopically, and it helps a lot that she had a truly outstanding surgeon. Still, they were telling us to expect at least four to five days in the hospital, possibly even twice that, and she’s home in half of that.

So now it’s time for recovery again, a slow climb back to a new “normal.”

It also should explain the tone of many posts in the last couple of months. Let’s hope that the tone can improve along with the situation.

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Filed under Family, Health

November 16, 2018 · 22:02

Too Tired To Sleep

Bad night.

Long day.

Tomorrow’s going to be much longer.

Have to get up at O’Dark Thirty – need to go get some sleep while I can.

Too tired to get up and go to bed.

Too tired to sleep once I get there.

This shit was a badge of honor when I was twenty-two and I did what I had to do to get through college.

This shit was a pain in the ass when I was forty-two and I had to do what I had to do as a single dad.

Now it’s just shit. Maybe twenty years from now I’ll have something clever to say about it – right now, not so much.

G’night all.

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Filed under Deep Thoughts, Health

September 20, 2018 · 15:28

Not So Funny Today

It’s a matter of perspective. I know that I’ve linked to another version of this comedy bit in the past and I often laugh my ass off at it. At the moment however…

I can think of a number of activities and events that are a better reason to be walking bow-legged.

Maybe I’ll just sit here, quietly, and listen to “Hamilton” again.

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Filed under Health, Paul

September 19, 2018 · 13:49

Fasting

I figured that being on a restricted diet for a few days and then doing a day and a half of fasting wouldn’t be that big of a deal. There were other aspects of this particular ordeal that I remember as being worse. (And I’m sure they will be.)

But I must say that the “no big deal” facets of the experience are more of a big deal than I remember or expected. I think part of it has to do with the psychological aspects of being denied something, of being told “no” in a sense that seems unfair, which has never been something I dealt with particularly well.

What I notice is how the routine has been upset and my subconscious is constantly trying to get it back on track. No breakfast? It’s amazing how often I’ve found myself wandering into the kitchen and then not sure why I was going there until I have that, “Oh, yeah, THAT – sorry, no” moment.

I also didn’t realize how many snack type foods I kept at my desk. But then I keep catching myself reaching for them without thinking about it.

No Diet Coke? My caffeine substrate of choice is off-limits? Now THAT‘s a freaking crime!

But worse of all, although not strictly part of the fasting, is the prohibition for days against any aspirin or ibuprofen. Let me tell you, I would merrily kill right now for a couple of Extra Strength Excedrin washed down with a cold Diet Coke.

Instead I can have water.

I might be cranky today.

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Filed under Health, Paul

July 3, 2018 · 23:50

Trick Question

It’s been suggested that I might need to make a slight alteration to my diet in order to make sure that I’m getting sufficient iron intake. Okay, I did some research, it makes sense. So what do I eat to increase my iron intake?

Let me summarize:

Image: from some really gross website talking about how liver is some sort of “superfood”

I could eat about 8 oz of liver every day. Apparently it’s chock FULL of iron.

Or…

Image: Amazon

I could eat two bags of this every day.

This must be some sort of sick and twisted trick question. I don’t get it.

To be healthier, would I like to eat liver every day or eat two bags of dark chocolate every day?

There’s got to be a catch, but for the life of me I can’t see it. The percentages of the daily recommended dose of iron add up just the same.

YOU CAN’T ARGUE WITH MATH!!

If you need me, I’ll be over here elevating my iron levels (and probably my blood glucose levels) into the stratosphere.

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Filed under Health, Paul

March 3, 2018 · 23:44

That Feeling When – March 03rd

That feeling when you’re feeling the time pressure because the freakin’ computer at the hangar went belly up and you really don’t have the time to be dealing with this but you’ve actually gotten to the store and gotten a decent new computer in a reasonable amount of time but now you’re standing in the parking lot because you know you parked Hissy over here somewhere because you remember being next to that car and just down from that car but Hissy’s nowhere to be seen and you can’t figure out what in hell you’re doing wrong but gee, that car right there looks just like your old van, same color, same everything, what are the odds of that…

And yet Siri wondered why I needed directions to get back to the hangar.

Don’t think of it as a brain cramp – think of it as “flight following” in a moment of exhaustion.

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Filed under Deep Thoughts, Health, Paul

March 2, 2018 · 23:45

Is It A Los Angeles Thing Or A California Thing?

I know that Austin likes to “Keep It Weird,” Portland has that guy in a kilt & Darth Vader helmet who rides a unicycle while playing a set of bagpipes that shoots flame out the top, and New York… Well, New York has Times Square. But I’ll stick to my contention that no one can out weird California in a pinch. Although I think this particular example might be more of a Los Angeles specific weird.

Rolling billboards. Pick up trucks with large advertising A-frames in the bed. Not advertising for the company that owns the truck. Nothing subtle. Nothing tasteful. Garish, in your face, you’re-stuck-on-the-freeway-next-to-me-and-you-have-to-look-at-this-shit-until-we-get-to-your-exit grade advertising.

(That’s not the thing that’s weird by the way. You probably see those in every big city by now. I’m just setting the stage.)

I’m behind this thing and it’s pushing a new type of cosmetic surgery. I’m dumbstruck. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked. Even by the standards of this place it’s astonishing to me.

There’s a place you can go and have a zillion tiny little black dots tattooed all over your head. Or, at least, all over the bald spots.

This is designed for guys who are going bald and want to address that condition not with a comb over or a rug (or with an ounce of maturity and gracious acceptance of the capricious nature of the universe) but by shaving their heads. Yeah, that will hide it and make me look like a macho studmuffin to boot!

Except…

When you shave your head you get that little dark stubbly look. It’s like five o’clock shadow all over your skull. Unless part of your skull is actually bald. That’s “bald” as in “NO HAIR GROWS HERE!” That’s “bald” as in “the Benevolent Order of Follicles Local 699” is on strike in this location. The five o’clock shadow is those shaved off hairs starting to grow back in.

So if you suffer from male pattern baldness and shave your head, you’ll get stubbly five o’clock shadow look where you would normally grow hair plus “smooth as a baby’s butt” where you’re actually denial-will-do-you-no-good bald.

Until now.

These guys will go in and tattoo in every one of those little hair follicles for you. Let them use you skull as a giant pin cushion for a while (who know that PinHead

would end up being fashion forward?) Then, assuming you actually do shave your head, you’ll look like you can grow a Fabio-like mane at will, but you’re making a macho choice to have your head looking like that all over.

With all due respect to the fine surgeons and tattoo artistes doing this life saving work, may I suggest that anyone thinking about this procedure could go and spend the money on therapy, hard liquor, and/or Lottery tickets and come out way ahead of the game compared to having this procedure inflicted on yourself?

Jeez!

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Filed under Freakin' Idiots!, Health, Los Angeles

March 1, 2018 · 23:31

That Feeling When – March 01st

That feeling when the stress finally clicks and you find yourself for at least a moment starting to transform from lowly, common graphite into rare, wondrous diamond. After all of the preparation and work that went into it, the start of the phase change is painless.

It’s something of an out of body experience, your thought processes splitting, the “outside” you going off and being socially acceptable and pleasant while the “inside” you steps back from that other self and says, “Ah, I see what’s happening here! I’ve heard of that, never thought I would see it up close, let alone in my own cerebral cortex!”

From there, grasping to hold onto that new state, desperate to not tumble back to dust, it’s exhilarating and empowering to be able to touch that feeling in future times of crisis, to keep it hidden where no one can take it from you, a shiny mental trinket buried deep in memory. Perhaps with time and possible repetition and practice, it will be large enough and strong enough to act as a shield – or a sword, slicing away at the self-imposed bonds and limitations.

Tomorrow we fight again. Possibly stronger, possibly more wise, hopefully less afraid.

Especially that last one.

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Filed under Deep Thoughts, Health

February 17, 2018 · 23:43

That Feeling When – February 17th

That feeling when they’re trying to figure out at the hangar who needs to get training on using the AED (automated external defibrillator) in case anyone has a heart attack because we apparently need to have a minimum number of people trained and when your name comes up everyone immediately pretty much agrees that you’re the last person that should be trained simply because you’re the one most likely to NEED the AED used when YOU have a heart attack, not to be the one using the AED on someone else.

Mixed feelings about that. It’s great that I don’t have to take the training since my plate is full to overflowing and I really can’t spare the time. The logic used to reach that decision is a bit…disturbing. Not saying it’s wrong (although I feel fine – strong like bull! smart like tractor! smooth like brick! ook! ook!! ook!!!) because I can see their point.

Still…

Aren’t I something of a “spring chicken” in that group?

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Filed under CAF, Health

June 8, 2017 · 23:22

Slaying Delayed

Long day. All evening doing an online task which I do not enjoy but can not avoid. Not feeling the joy.

Listening to some tunes, as I have been known to do. (BTW, someone changed the key on “Jesus Christ Superstar.” I used to be able to sing along with that. Now it’s just ugly.) Tonight it’s Julia Ecklar for reasons I don’t recall, but I’m having a good time listening again.

Given the task and my mood, I’m ready for “Temper of Revenge.” As she says on the live version on another CD, “One set of chords and you’re all lusting for blood!”

So here we go! “Bring me my lance! Bring my shield! Strong as my sword is…”

“beep, beep! beep, beep! beep, beep!” My phone has cut off the music to have my alarm go off.

Stick a pin in that thought, I’ll be back in five minutes to wade hip deep into the demon horde, slinging entrails and limbs right and left with my massive broadsword. Right now it’s been two hours since dinner and I have to go do that blood test thing to make sure I’m not hypoglycemic.

Who knew that that’s what they meant by “lusting for blood?”

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Filed under Fandom, Health, Music