December 30, 2017 · 23:40

Your Theme Music

While watching one of “those” TV movies tonight, I commented that the soon-to-be love interest (who was busy describing to our heroine how he wasn’t really a stalker or a cad) must be a great guy because he had soft clarinet music as his theme music. I then opined that I probably didn’t have soft clarinet theme music in my invisible soundtrack. I was told that I probably had music from that instrument I played in band in high school.

Good point. I wouldn’t mind having a nice French horn theme following me around.

But what would it sound like?

At first I was thinking the “Overture from ‘Tommy‘” by The Who, one of the first and most exciting French horn solos I remember ever hearing.

After a bit more thought, I think it needs to be Luke Skywalker’s Theme by John Williams. (BTW, I have no idea how this YouTube clip ends up being an hour long, nor did I try to figure it out. The music I’m talking about is the first twenty seconds or so…)

As we’re almost at the end of 2017, what instrument is playing your personal theme music? And what sort of music is it playing?

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Filed under Music, Paul

December 29, 2017 · 23:58

Whatever Works

About six weeks ago the deluge of Christmas catalogs began.

Over the years we’ve bought a lot of stuff online and by mail order. Do that once and you’re guaranteed to get catalogs from that company from now until the heat death of the universe. You’ll also get catalogs from all of the companies that they sell their mailing lists to, and the ones that they sell their mailing lists to, ad infinitum.

Most are just chucked straight into the recycling bin, but occasionally I’ll flip through one of them that catches my eye. Thus it was that I started going through the “Whatever Works” catalog last month.

Lots of nifty little bits and bobs. On the cover we see a humidifier, a collapsible luggage design, a portable emergency battery power source, a miracle device that will charge up to seven portable devices at the same time, and a nylon gizmo for dragging leaves across the yard and making lawn cleanup faster and easier than ever!

Cool, right? What else can we find?

An ultrasonic noise maker that will keep small critters out from under your car hood. Lava lamps. A “stealth sound amplifier” that will let you hear up to fifty feet away! A realistically detailed plastic parrot that records your voice and talks back to you – and it’s also a pen holder! A container for pouring bird seed into those tube feeders without spilling! A “retro” boom box! (Wait, I’ve got two or three of those in the garage already, complete with a decade or two of official retro dust!)

The mind boggles at the wonders to be found.

On page 38 we start a section of pet related gizmos. On page 40 it’s an assortment of “tactical” flashlights and other illumination devices and security accessories. Page 46 has techie things for storing batteries and labeling plugs and organizing computer cables. Page 50 starts a section on household cleaning brushes and gels and things to put into your washing machine and dryers to clean lint and keep your toilet seats warm. Page 52 has a wide assortment of nail clippers and eyebrow trimmers and electrolysis wands. Page 54 has a Kagel exciter and a “Butterfly Dreams” mini massager…

Sorry, what?

The “Tease Me!” The “Torro!” is waterproof. The “Wild G” is a “waterproof, top-of-the-line, bead studded, triple-prong massager” with three speeds of shaft vibration, 3 speeds of bead rotation, and reversible head rotation! It’s pretty obvious what the “Adonis Extender,” “Love Vibes,” and “The Climaxer” all are designed for. If it’s not obvious, there’s an “Art of Orgasm DVD.”

Then on page 54 we start the automobile accessories to help stuff from falling between the seat, fix dings and dents ourselves, eliminate blind spots, and clean our side mirrors. We can even get a digital tire gauge that will talk to us if we don’t want to actually read the dial.

Am I missing something vital about the Heartland of America, Ma & Pa Kettle, red-blooded middle-class folk that these products are all intended for? To be more blunt, HOW IN HELL DID PAGES 54 AND 55 WIND UP IN THIS CATALOG?

It’s been weeks and I’m still trying to get my head around it.

Mind you, I don’t object to anything shown on those pages. Not in the least, especially since they all seem to come with solid warranties, decent prices, and free shipping! I’m just a bit gobsmacked to find them without any warning, smack dab in the middle of this particular catalog.

It’s special. I love it!

As they said, whatever works!

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Filed under Farce

December 28, 2017 · 23:21

The Christmas Card Wheel Turns

The cards have gone out. Late, but they’re out. Normally we try to get them out by mid December so everyone has them by Christmas, but that wasn’t happening this year.

The first batch (about half) went out last Wednesday and started showing up in people’s mailboxes on Tuesday. The second batch went out yesterday, and the final batch went out today.

And today the first returns started coming back.

It’s something of a “circle of life” thing. Start with a list of relatives, friends from SF fandom, work connections, high school classmates, and college classmates. Over the course of a few years a few new names get added every year while a few more get dropped as people move and we lose touch.

Something happens (like a high school reunion) and the address list gets updated. People once lost get reconnected and go back on the list.

New connections are made (like going on staff at the CAF SoCal Wing or getting a new job) and the address list gets added to. The list grows again.

Then time passes, the cycle turns, and every year there are a couple dozens of returns. Folks moved and, much to my amazement, dropping a change of address notice to me so they can get an annual family Christmas card isn’t their top priority.

The toughest ones are starting to be the “deceased” entries on the list. The Springfield High School Class of 1974 is all in their sixties now and it’s starting to show.

If you’ve gotten a card in the past, don’t get one in the next few days, and you still want one, please let me know. If you’ve moved in the last year or so and you want to stay on the list, let me know. If you’ve never gotten one of our family Christmas cards and want one, let me know. (It’s not a tough list to get on, I’m pretty touchy-feely about the keeping-in-touch and spreading-the-holiday-cheer crap.)

Given appropriate privacy concerns, it’s probably best not put put personal information in the comments. I would suggest you can either send emails to pwillett@ix.netcom.com, send a private message to me on Facebook, or send me a text message.

 

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Filed under Christmas Lights

December 27, 2017 · 23:13

No Context For You – December 27th

I swear, if I’m coming down with a cold, someone’s going to pay dearly.

I do NOT have the time or the patience for this shit.

Excuse me while I go down a dozen Cold-Eeze.

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Filed under Paul, Photography

December 26, 2017 · 23:24

Someplace Special – December 26th

Shanghai, China

(Christmas pie, or at least, Christmas pie chart – how much of it was enjoyed, how much of it was a memory to be cherished and treasured for a lifetime, how much of it was endured with good humor, how much of it was merely survived, how much of it was fulfilling, how much of it was disappointing? Repeat the exercise as needed for every holiday and significant life event.)

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Filed under Photography, Travel

December 25, 2017 · 23:07

Christmas 2017

As we wrap up Christmas Day, head into the New Year, and then face 2018 and whatever it might bring, I wish for all of you to find peace, joy, happiness, and love.

Each of which can be elusive. And difficult to hold onto once found.

Given that, above all I wish for each of us to find strength and courage. Strength and courage many not get television movies for each holiday, but if we can find a way summon strength and courage from within, we can persist, endure, and survive until our elusive moments of peace, joy, happiness, and love arrive.

That might not be the Christmas gift we want, but it’s the Christmas gift we need.

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Filed under Christmas Lights, Deep Thoughts, Photography

December 24, 2017 · 23:03

Christmas Eve 2017

The last lights are up, the last cards are ready to get mailed out, the stockings are hung, we’ve eaten way, way too much, “Love Actually” has been watched, and the train is running.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Hug your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.

Now go wrap those last presents!

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Filed under Uncategorized

December 23, 2017 · 23:13

White Christmas

We’re out at the Disney Concert Hall tonight for the “White Christmas” singalong concert.

There are celebrities here – we’ll leave them alone if they leave us alone. No paparazzi!

 

It’s truly a wonderful, world-class venue. We will have to get here more in 2018, perhaps for a bit of Mozart or Tchaikovsky.

Or maybe something featuring that honkin’ huge organ hiding behind that screen! A little Toccata & Fugue in D Minor would be wonderful!

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December 22, 2017 · 18:52

Leaving The Planet

Tonight, SpaceX was launching a Falcon 9 rocket with ten Iridium satellites. The launch was out of Vandenberg AFB on the coast a hundred miles or so north of Los Angeles.

We got off work a bit early today and I had thought about trying to drive up to see the launch. But it would have been iffy at best on the timing, especially on a “get out of town” day for the holiday weekend, with the fires still burning up the coast as a bonus traffic problem. I figured the launch might be visible from our front yard.

Holy cow! Wow! Jeez, Louise! Oh my God! What a freaking amazing site!

Flying from the lower right toward the upper left, here’s what it looked like just after first stage separation. That “puffball” in the contrail right about in the middle of the image is where the first stage separation occurred.

The bright light in the upper left is the moon – the bright spot just off the left edge is the first stage, heading toward the Pacific Ocean. (They did not recover this first stage. Why? They’ve gotten so successful at recovering them apparently that they’re overstocked.)

Just a second later, a slightly different angle, you see the second stage to the left of the first stage and the moon. It’s heading toward orbit. (The ten Iridium satellites just finished deploying successfully about five minutes ago.)

After the second stage disappears over the horizon to the south and the first stage has gone down to the Pacific Ocean off of Mexico, the contrail remains, high up in the atmosphere, still lit by the sun.

This was also TOTALLY FREAKING OUT EVERYONE in Los Angeles.

Up close, the detail and filigree of this dispersing cloud is just beautiful.

Download this picture to your computer…

…and this one. Then flip back and forth between them. They were taken four seconds apart, but you can see how the cloud is spreading and flowing.

Finally, as the Earth kept rotating (as planets do) and the sun moved further beyond the horizon (as suns do), the cloud started to dim…

…and disperse.

We got a LOT of folks driving by stopping and asking what it was.

It was SPECTACULAR, that’s what it was!

 

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Filed under Los Angeles, Photography, Space

December 21, 2017 · 23:51

It’s Fifty-Eight Minutes After The Hour Somewhere

The music swells. Cymbals crash. We ascend to a major key! There might even be a flourish of trumpets with a hint of a Christmas carol theme!!

Without even looking, you know that it’s about “Something:58,” often referred to as “Two Minutes from the Top of the Hour,” aka “They’re Finally Kissing at the Conclusion of the Hallmark Christmas Movie!”

Every. Single. Hour. 24/7. From about a week before Thanksgiving until 00:01 on the 26th. At which point the New Year’s movies start.

Or it means that the DIY Christmas cards are finally going in the mail tomorrow.

Po-TAY-toe, po-TAA-toe.

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Filed under Christmas Lights